The beginning of this year brought the exciting news that our family would be expecting another child. This summer, as my three boys and husband looked on, we saw, with the help of an ultrasound, that we would be having our fourth boy.
Throughout my pregnancy thus far, I have received many interesting questions and comments such as, “Is this a good thing?” or “Was this an oops?”
As I think about these questions, many thoughts come to mind. How could a child be considered anything other than a good thing? And did this person think that new life was a bad thing rather than good?
And then there is the “oops” question. In my mind, I think of an “oops” when I spill my Starbuck’s in my Euro Van or when I put the milk in the pantry rather than the refrigerator only to discover it the next morning.
Children are always a good and precious gift from God, but somehow today’s culture looks at them as an inconvenience and a burden. We experience this today thanks to the contraceptive mentality and the abortion industry.
The other question I get asked by people is, “Was this planned?”
To be honest, my husband and I did not “plan” on more children. We do practice NFP and we thought we had good reason not to have more children.
NFP is not 100% effective, but neither is artificial contraception. I have heard plenty of stories of women who got pregnant while on the pill, with an IUD or even after many years of infertility. I recently heard a story of a woman conceiving and giving birth to a baby and she had had her tubes tied! The benefits of NFP are that it eliminates artificial and potentially harmful methods to regulate your family size therefore spacing births in a natural and non-intrusive way.
We’ve spaced our children using NFP and then God revealed more of His plan for our lives. We have always believed that if it was God’s will for us to have a larger family that He would override our decision and send us another baby. We were shocked for a little while, but it has opened our hearts in a new and more loving way.
God knows what is best for our lives. I have to say, through all the twists and turns and surprises in my walk as a child of God, I have never been disappointed.
As a Christian woman, I strive to follow Mary’s example of, “Be it done unto me according to thy word.” I try to live one day at a time accepting God’s providence in every situation. It is amazing how life experiences continue to teach me lessons I never dreamed of. What I have come to learn is that I did have “plans” and the funny thing is that I didn’t even know it. Deep down I thought I knew what my life was going to be like and, so far, I am always wrong.
This pregnancy has taught me, to my core, that I am not in control. I have always known this, but only as head knowledge. I am beginning to embrace in my heart this truth that I am not in control even if I think I am. I never know what tomorrow will bring. I am left with one option: surrender. Sometimes I have to surrender numerous times a day. This always brings me peace and a confidence in my Father who has the perfect plan for my life.
So when people ask me, “Was this baby planned?” I always answer with a smile, “Yes… by God!”
God is the Planner, the Director of my life. “Father knows best” is what I try to remember even when I do not understand. The future isn’t always uncertain, but one thing is certain: I have my Daddy looking out for what is best for me and my family and our eternal lives with Him.
If I was left to my own devices of planning my own life, my life would be a disaster and so would I. I tried once to live without God; it does not work.
As I write this, I am reminded of a day recently that I did not plan. I found myself a bit frustrated and on the verge of tears. An unexpected trip to the doctor, too many delays and mishaps to count and I dropped my rosary in my iced tea. I prayed many times, “Thy will be done,” and “Jesus I trust in you. ”
As I drove home from the doctor’s office with a sleeping toddler in his car seat, I went past the abortion clinic. My heart dropped and I silently prayed a Hail Mary for all unborn babies and for an end to abortion. The inconveniences of that day seem very minor as I think about all of the lives that have been ended by the horror of abortion. All of those babes have souls, all of them are planned by God and He has a purpose for every single one of them. Their lives have been snuffed out by those who think they are in control of their lives and the lives of others.
When I start to think I am in control, I lose my peace. When I give all to God, I regain lost serenity and I am once again calm.
At the end of that day, I went to bed in peace and with gratitude. I thought about my three beautiful boys and the child in my womb. I praised God for my loving and supportive husband. I have everything I need. I was happy that I could surrender my day to a loving and all-knowing Father and I was reminded of a prayer:
God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.
