I Must Have Been Productive Today

No, not that.  Um, not that either.  I'm not really sure. Look, I have no idea what I did all day long but I know it was productive. 

I consider it a Productive day when I don't set any grilled cheese sandwiches on fire.  Plus,

I finished a cup of coffee before it got cold.

I think I even showered.  Wait; yes.  Yes I did because that's when I found my half finished cup of coffee I lost yesterday.   I brushed my teeth at least once.

The kids brushed their teeth.  I'm pretty sure.

I didn't run out of toilet paper or diapers. No one barfed without a toilet or bucket within close range. I didn't lock myself out of the house. With dinner on the stove.

I didn't run out of gas. I didn't back the minivan into the mailbox.

The kids and I found our way home after school from the corner bus stop without incident.

My children had clean underwear to wear to school today.  I had clean underwear to wear today. No children were harmed by the colony of Killer Dust Bunnies currently residing under my bed. No children were harmed by the colony of Killer Dust Bunnies currently residing in every corner of my house.  In fact, I noted the toddler carrying on a lively conversation with one of them.

I didn't kill another houseplant.

I didn't bounce a check.  Or five.  Not that that's ever happened.  Really.

I brought in the mail. The same day it arrived.

The kids didn't figure out "Betsy" the hamster is not the same Betsy from yesterday. The dog didn't dig up Betsy in the backyard under the Maple tree. The dog still likes me.  At least I think that's what his tail wagging means.

The washing machine stayed on balance.  For all 7 loads.  The dryer lint trap did not catch on fire. I didn't splash bleach on my new black shirt.  I rescued the red boxers from the white load before everything turned pink.

I remembered my husband's name when he came home from work.  On the second try.

I served a meal consisting of at least two colors. Thank God ketchup is red and my kids love it.

I ended the day with as many children in the house as when I started. And I'm pretty sure they're all mine.

So I can kick my Productive Day Guilt to the curb for a good night's rest.

Until it, along with a new colony of Killer Dust Bunnies, resurfaces tomorrow.

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