The following emails between Mary Kochan and R. represent thousands of well-intentioned Catholics who yearn with all their hearts to reach out in love to friends and co-workers who are trapped in cults — in this case the Jehovah’s Witnesses. It is our hope that the cautions she gave him will be helpful to others.
Dear Mary,
I have an office mate and a friend whom I've been talking to during lunch break trying to win him back to the Roman Catholic Church. His whole family including his wife and children are Jehovah's Witnesses. He was lured to this cult when he was barely 19 years old. Now he is I think 55-60 years old.
Please send me materials or guidelines how to succeed. I gave him The Catechism of the Catholic Church but he returned it to me after a few days. I believe he did not read it.
Now I am thinking of giving him “The Calls of Fatima” by Sister Lucia tomorrow.
We have been discussing it during our lunch break for 30 minutes on two occasions.
Could you please give me a program of converting him back to our Catholic Faith? I believe he was lured to his cult long time ago because he really does not know much about his original Catholic faith. He is a very good man. I'm praying that he will discover his path back to Catholic faith.
With warmest regards and God Bless,
R.
P.S. Can I continue to email you as I progress with my intention?
Dear R.,
I would suggest for the time being not giving him any more Catholic stuff. If he perceives you as being aggressive, he may cut off communication with you. You need to go very low-key. I would strongly suggest that you read Releasing the Bonds by Steven Hassan.
You need yourself to know how to defend your faith from standard Protestant arguments the JWs use, as well as know how to defend Christian beliefs that we share with Protestants, like the Trinity.
But the main issue is going to be the authority of his organization. You will have to get him out from under their control of his mind. Do not let him know you are talking to me or any other former JW.
Yes, we can stay in touch. Let me know what sort of things you and he are discussing.
Blessings,
Mary
Dear Mary,
Thank you very much for your prompt assistance and reply. Your advice about not being aggressive is timely for he is somewhat avoiding me. The recent things that we've discussed were about:
1.) He does not believe that Jesus is true God and true Man. He confirmed to me that yes, he believe that Jesus and St. Michael are the same.
2.) I asked him where in his Bible does it show that JWs of New York City is the true religion. I asked him what happened to 1,800 years gap between Jesus Christ and the establishment of JWs? He said those years represented the dark ages! Considering that he has been a JW for 30 years or so, I understand the strength of his personal beliefs no matter how untrue.
I'll send you the emails and materials I gave him recently. Meanwhile, I always assure him that I respect him and his beliefs although I disagree with them. I said I have close relatives who are in Iglesia Ni Kristo (Philippines) and my younger brother has converted to being a Muslim recently, but I said to him that I still love my brother although I'm sad.
What I said to him was that personally, the greatest gift I have in my life is none other than my Catholic Faith. I thank God so much for it that I always pray to Him through the Blessed Virgin Mary to increase my faith, firm hope and charity — and that I will not go astray.
Till next time, thanking you again, I remain
Sincerely yours,
R.
R., I would strongly suggest that you spend some time reading or listening to tapes of the stories of Protestant converts. That you would mention praying “through the BVM” to a non-Catholic who considers himself a Christian shows that you greatly lack understanding of the consciences of our separated brethren — not even to mention JWs.
You might as well stick a bone through your nose, put on a loin cloth, brandish a feathered spear and come dancing up to this guy to a bongo beat and try to convince him you have the true religion.
Just stop for a while and do some studying.
If you talk to him at all avoid the subject of religion. If he brings it up, do nothing but listen.
Mary
Dear Mary,
Thanks for setting me on the right course of action!
Your extremely timely food for thought and advice is deeply appreciated and assure you I'll do what you've just said.
Bye for now. I'll keep you posted about the developments later. Thanking you very much.
God Bless,
R.
Mary Kochan, Lead Content Editor and contributing author to Catholic Exchange, was raised as a third-generation Jehovah’s Witness. Before converting to Roman Catholicism, she worked in Evangelical Protestant ministry, speaking and teaching in many settings. She is a member of St. Theresa parish in Douglasville, GA. Her tapes are available from Saint Joseph Communications.
Mary is coordinating a presentation on Authoritarian Catholic Movements, for a conference on Understanding Cults, New Religious Movements and Other Groups to be held in Atlanta, Georgia October 15-16, 2004. For more information and registration go here or email Mary Kochan.
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