Holy Husbands: A Heavenly Gift

dad 2“Be holy as your heavenly Father is holy.” These words of Jesus, taught in the context of the Sermon on the Mount, is a universal command! This must be carried out according to one’s specific vocation of life.

What are some specific ways in which men who have chosen the married state can live out this universal call and command to be holy as our heavenly Father is holy?

In this short essay we will focus on the Husband’s relationship to God and his wife. Once married, the hierarchy of importance for the married man must be the following order: God, wife, children, then parents and relatives.  When this order is turned topsy-turvy, then confusion and problems inundate the family! Following are five building blocks to construct a solid and holy family.

1.    PRAYER FOR SPOUSE.   A holy and noble husband should be a man of prayer. He should pray fervently and frequently for the totality of his family; however, first on the list should be for his wife.  He should daily pray for her daily conversion, sanctification and eternal salvation.

2.    PRAY WITH THE SPOUSE.  Not only should he pray for his spouse, but he should have the habit of praying with his wife.  Frequently,   “Macho-type” men ask their wives to pray for them and at times say that they pray in private but excuse themselves from praying in common with their wives. Wrong! St. Joseph shines as a brilliant example to follow!  No doubt, this great saint offered fervent and frequent private prayers, but he also would pray with his wife—the Blessed Virgin Mary.

3.    PRIME-TIME TO PRAY.  Prayer can be considered both the easiest of all activities, but at the same time the most difficult. Why?  We can pray at any time, in any place and in any words we choose—- easy, at least it seems!   However it is difficult because the “4”d’s that prevent us from praying: the devil, distractions, and daily-duties.   All of these tend to suffocate and crowd prayer from our lives. Therefore, spouses should prioritize “Prime-times” of prayer together: Morning prayers upon waking, Meal times,  the most Holy Rosary, and if possible attendance at Holy Mass and Holy Communion together. When husbands take the initiative to pray together this serves as a type of “Super-glue” to unite them in a harmonious and cohesive whole. How true resound the words of the Rosary-priest, Father Patrick Peyton: “The family that prays together stays together.”

4.    OFFER MASSES FOR THE WIFE.   Wives that take their spiritual lives seriously would rejoice to their heart’s content if on their Birthday as well as on their Wedding Anniversary their husbands would have the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass offered for their intentions. Indeed all prayers are good and pleasing to God if offered with purity of intention and for a noble purpose. However, the greatest prayer underneath the sun is by far the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.  One Mass is worth more than all of the private prayers put together.  Why?  Mass is OPUS DEI— the very work of God Himself. Husbands, the next time your wife’s birthday arrives as well as your wedding anniversary, why not have a pre-planned Mass offered for the treasure of your life, your loving wife!

5.    CONSECRATION OF THE FAMILY TO THE IMMACULATE HEART OFMARY AND THE SACRED HEART OF JESUS!  Fathers are called to be the “Head” of the family, as well as “The Priest of the family”.   What a sublime and supernatural gesture for the Husband to take the initiative to have his wife, and children and the whole family consecrated to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.   This would entail a bit of work: purchase the material (books or pamphlets), obtain the images of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, invite the priest to enthrone the images as well as the specific time.   How many wives would be exultant with overflowing joy seeing their husbands take the initiative to consecrate their lives and family to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary!

The Husband is called to be the Head and Leader of the family; if you like, he is called to be the “Priest” of the family. This means that he is called to a deep prayer life that he manifests in private prayer, but also in family prayer, still more, in finding a time and place to pray with the treasure of his life his wife! How true: “The family that prays together stays together.”


image credit: shutterstock.com

Fr. Ed Broom, OMV


Father Ed Broom is an Oblate of the Virgin Mary and the author of From Humdrum to Holy, which offers more words of wisdom for how to become a saint today. He blogs regularly at Fr. Broom's Blog.

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  • BillinJax

    Thank you Fr. Ed for this urgent message for us husbands. I would agree that part of our personal evaluation is judging how much we value and appreciate the good and holy wives we have, like Joseph our model.
    Mary was really God’s bride and that was alright with Joseph. He was
    privileged to share the nurturing of Jesus through childhood in and around his
    carpenter shop. (There is no doubt in my mind that Joseph was amazed at some of
    their creations.) And I’m sure he became more and more aware of his purpose,
    his faith, and Christ’s mission as the years passed. Joseph is a great role
    model for husbands and fathers. Mary and Joseph were the first “Christians”,
    giving their lives for Christ day in and day out as long as they lived.
    Today as husbands and fathers we need to see Joseph as our patron saint and
    be devoted to our wives as he loved and honored Mary and Jesus. Our wives are
    often referred to as our better half and we honestly have to admit they do have
    capabilities beyond our reach. Also they are wonderful loving, thoughtful, and
    compassionate companions and mothers when we allow them to be just that and not
    ask or suggest they imitate the hollow versions created of them in Hollywood or
    the fashion industry. We need to let them know we will be perfectly content with anything close to the humble faithful servant of God’s holy will who set an example for them in Bethlehem and Nazareth and we are here always to love and honor them as we faithfully care for the family and/or home they hope to provide us.
    I firmly believe the many problems associated with marriages and family
    life today are directly or indirectly a result of the removal of women from the
    pedestal which they rightfully should occupy. There are several reasons for this demise but all have tarnished the elevated image I believe God intended us to have of man’s
    soul mate.
    When Adam was in paradise with all of nature at his disposal he knew he was
    not complete. God must have wanted him to come to this conclusion and tested
    his judgment and selectivity. Nothing on earth suited him and it was up to the
    creator Himself to establish the perfect mate for him. Someone who would
    compliment his nature and enable him to be the crowning earthly creature the Creator
    It is safe to say that women originally and unto this day have provided the
    “link” needed by man to reach the heights of human perfection designed for him.
    Yes, thank heaven for little girls and the wonderful mothers they can become,
    like our savior’s mother, Mary Queen of Heaven.

  • CT

    Beautiful truth. I am grateful to God for my Holy husband, my own “Holy man”! The times we spend together praying and reading the Magnificat are precious to us, and valuable to those we love and pray for. Happy Father’s Day!

  • Sean Johnson

    A Holy Husband is a grateful gift from god. I think as a leader of the family, he must teach also his kids about the words of god. Holy husband is a precious gift!