Children and Marriage: the Sacrifice We’ll Live to Regret

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I recently wrote an article defending marriage—that is, against redefining marriage as it has been for millennia—for The Guardian, the prominent, British left-wing publication. The response by readers (click here) was vicious. I’d say I was surprised, but I wasn’t. I’d also say that some of the responses were childish, but that wouldn’t be fair to children; indeed, children know better.

That brings me to my point today: a common argument made by gay-marriage advocates, not only at The Guardian but elsewhere, including among many Catholics, is that there’s no reason two married men or two married women can’t raise children just as well as a married man and woman. They absolutely insist that there’s no essential complimentarity that a man and woman as husband and wife bring to the parental table. They insist that a married man and man or woman and woman could provide the same, or at least adequate, skill sets.

wrong 2Sorry, but as anyone who has children knows—or as anyone who has ever been a child should know—this is nonsense. Men and women are very different. My wife and I bring completely different traits to the table. Anyone who insists otherwise hasn’t been a parent or is ignoring the obvious.

We heard this argument before from liberals and progressives. It was during the 1970’s, the height of radical feminism, when they insisted that a woman didn’t need a man to raise children.

Fortunately, they wised up in the 1980’s and 1990’s, particularly after the ravages of the divorce culture. The likes of Bill Clinton and even (once upon a time) Barack Obama stressed the imperative of dads.

All of that, however, has again been jettisoned by liberals and progressives. Before, they did so in the service of their ideology’s embrace of radical feminism.

Today, they do so because of their ideology’s embrace of gay marriage. They are now sacrificing the fundamental significance of dads, of moms, of dad-mom marriages at the altar of gay marriage.

That is a sacrifice that they, their culture, their country, and especially our children, will live to regret.

For Catholic Exchange dot com and Ave Maria Radio, I’m Paul Kengor.


image: shutterstock

Dr. Paul Kengor


Dr. Paul Kengor is professor of political science at Grove City College and executive director of The Center for Vision & Values. His books include “The Crusader: Ronald Reagan and the Fall of Communism” and “Dupes: How America’s Adversaries Have Manipulated Progressives for a Century.”

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  • Do Not Impose Harm

    Procreation is disgustingly selfish and if you partake in it you are a monster. Not everyone wants to be born and the ones who are satisfied with life are undeniably irrational.

    “Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.”
    -Andy Warhol

    At least the gays are unable to breed- Although they may still impose harm by electing for surrogacy; and creating suffering where there was none before.

  • John

    Do Not Impose Harm, I feel sorry for you. In fact, I’ll pray for you – hard!

  • James H, London

    You poor blighter.

  • Tom Dundee

    “What we do to our children, they will do to society”. – Pliny
    “The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people”. – Ashanti Proverb
    “The family of a nation is the nucleus of a civilization”. – Will Durant
    “No race that does not take care of its young can hope to survive nor deserves to survive”. – Father Flanagan.
    Leftists are fond of quoting Santana, also a Leftist and then misapplying the quote.
    “Those who do not learn the lessons of history are condemened to repeat the mistakes”.
    I believe the exact opposite is true. Our leaders have learned the lessons of the past and carefully replicated them. Never has a great nation fallen so fast nor so thoroughly. Within 40 years the US went from the world’s largest creditor nation to the world’s largest debtor nation.
    – This is a paraphrase of Santana’s quote as the exact words escape me right now and I am too lazy to look it up.
    This all began in the 1880s when Nietzche proclaimed, “God Is Dead”.
    “When we cease to worship God, we do not then believe in nothing, we worship anything”. – GK Chesterton
    “When men cease to believe in God, they believe in anything”. – Lenin

    Axiom of the National Organization of Women
    “One Nuclear Family Can Ruin Your Whole Life”.
    I could continue, but this is enough to get a general idea of why we are in such big trouble.

  • gratiaplena

    To add to Tom Dundee’s comment:

    “As the family goes, so goes the nation.” – Pope John Paul II

  • CharlesOConnell

    A lemming in an end-stage rush over the cliff only destroys himself.

    It takes a human being to drag his fellows over with him.

  • TK

    I have been savoring the extraordinary irony of the embrace of ssm in the UK in light of the shining beacon of the beauty and importance of kinship generated by little Prince George, his exquisite parents, and the majesty of the English monarchy. The disconnect leaves me positively dumbfounded.

  • lightedlamp97

    We are traveling into unprecedented land, never before have we seen this kind of parenting. For every one parent trying to do his job, there are 10 that will scandalize you for it. I believe it is the children of these same parents that will rise up and change our culture because of their own brokenness. Yesterday, my 18 year old son sat on a youth advisory board for area teens as a young man tried to rally the teens to stand up and do something to overturn traditional marriage. My son presented his concerns to the entire group as if his very life depended on it and simply chose not to vote. The group voted to remain neutral. My son believes he was placed there for that purpose only. I agree. I told him he could quit, his response was if I do I lose “our voice, the voice of life!” Mind you he is 18 and already at the front of battle lines. My husband and my son are always debating and reading about social justice issues. It’s a passion they share together. For the parents that are doing their jobs out there… keep going, have no fear (just like Pope John Paul II reminded us almost our whole lives), and prepare your children. I always thought my husband should be playing a game of baseball or shooting hoops with our son. Yesterday, I realized my husband had taught our son the most important tools. The game is over as we know it.

  • peacebwu12

    Thanks be to God for your son’s Courage and Wisdom (good job parenting too !)

  • lightedlamp97

    Thank you for your kind of act of encouragement. I needed that;)

  • steve

    WIth the rate of divorce and single parents (particularly in the US), is worrying about children with 2 parents of the same sex really the most beneficial issue to consume our energy?