Faith Enlightening Education, Part Seven: Spoiled Brats and Thankful Hearts

The food was placed on the table and all of us were ready to dig-in.

“Bless us oh Lord, and these thy gifts…”

We all reached immediately for the food, BUT mom called out “wait!” She reminded all to place their napkins in their laps; they must take the serving plate and ask others if they would like some of the food on it. The elders were given preference, nobody was to eat until everyone was served…and the usual litany of manners.

“…which we are about to receive from thy bounty…”

Manners was definitely my wife’s department. In all honesty, too many of these rules and regulations seemed silly to me. I had some semblance of manners, but only a rudimentary knowledge. The Italian in me was noting that the hot food was getting colder and frankly, we all wanted to get that food to its intended purpose ASAP.

“…through Christ our Lord…”

On this specific occasion, a revelation hit me as I listened to the directions of my wife; she was preparing my children for Mass . What a strange thought. She was preparing my children to receive the Eucharist. This insight forced me into reflection as I sat and listened in awe as the mother of my children explained how we are to behave — she was teaching us how to receive a gift with thanks.

“…amen”

The words of the blessing rang in my heart once again. How do we receive this gift of food given from the bounty of God? How do we receive the Eucharist at Mass? Eucharist means “thanksgiving”. There must be an extraordinary insight into our very being that is found in the virtue of gratitude .

Spoiled or Grateful?

Is there any character that is more despised then the spoiled brat? So much is given to this child with no /> thanks given back what-so-ever. The gifts given are perceived as rights due and are treated with indifference and even contempt. Gifts do not open the heart of the receiver, but rather turns his attention to himself — the center of his universe. Does the spoiled brat not recognize the gift of the lover? Does the spoiled child not recognize the love of the giver?

Is there any character more endearing than the grateful heart? Every gift given is received with the utmost appreciation. The gifts are embraced and accepted with a recognition of the thought and care put forth by the giver. Through the gift, a bond of endearment is established between the giver and the receiver. The exchange is deeper than an exchange of material goods, it is an opportunity to love and be loved.

It is noteworthy that spoiled brats are rarely the givers of gifts since they cannot think outside of themselves long enough to consider the needs of others.

Educating the Spoiled Brats We Are

Current educational climate always mirrors contemporary society — and our day is no different. With no depth in our perception of ourselves, we have devised an educational system based on the mistaken notion that we should be the center of our world. The past several decades has seen program after program that focuses on development of the self .

Society recognizes the dignity of man and tries to develop it in an incomplete way — without the broader perspective of our fallen-ness. The various programs to develop a good self-image were an attempt to help us recognize our dignity. All of the positive talk that was a part of these programs rang true, but also rang hollow. We have dignity, but we also know we are not the source of the dignity and we certainly do not always act dignified. The net result of these programs was to feed our own self-centeredness.

Society also recognizes our need to love others and tries to develop our ability to think outside of ourselves. The importance of relationships and the need to participate in causes bigger than ourselves is a part of the curriculum at most schools. But as Pope Benedict said; “Without faith, love becomes an arbitrary deed. It cancels itself out and becomes self-righteous ”. Without the broader understanding of who we are, our efforts fall short. Even our attempt at love can be turned inward on ourselves.

A Goal for Education: From Spoiled into Grateful

The spoiled brats that we all are take far more credit then we should for any goodness that is within us. Every talent and virtue we possess feeds our pride. God is perceived as a competitor that is trying to get credit for our actions. He will try to change us into something we do not want to be. He is trying to put a straight-jacket on this most talented of beings called me .

In fact, God is a Father and is the source of all the talent and virtue we possess. These talents and virtues are His gifts to us and should be used in service to His kingdom. Good sons are thankful to their Father for the gifts they receive. Are we intelligent? It’s a gift. Do we possess fortitude? It’s a gift. Are we amiable? It’s a gift. Our Heavenly Father is trying to help us become everything we have ever wanted to be. His grace will perfect our personality, not destroy it.

Instead of developing a good self-image , we need to develop a true self-image ; we need depth in our perception. This includes the dignity we all possess being made in the image and likeness of God, but it also includes the fact that we fall short of that dignity. The battle within each of us to embrace our authentic selves cannot be won by positive self talk. It is established by a lifelong journey of becoming free from the bondage established by original sin and the various forms of sin we freely partake of. It comes through the grace of redemption.

Education for Thanksgiving .

The goal of good manners is thankfulness, not good manners. Every good parent has always known that good manners are means of expressing an end, not an end unto themselves. It is possible to possess good manners without the inward attitude of thankfulness. The goal is to develop an attitude of gratitude.

The same is true for many of the rules and regulations that govern great educational institutions. Many of the rules exist to keep students from exercising their self-centered ambitions. Other rules deal with treating others with the dignity they deserve. Our youth need to learn gratitude. They need to be thankful for the parents, families and their churches and schools. They need to be thankful for their very lives, their bodies and their minds. They should be thankful for our country. They need to be thankful for our faith.

A sound educational system must help man discover his true self. One of the greatest truths about man is that the fall has made us spoiled brats who constantly question the motives of our Loving Father — going so far as to question His Fatherhood. But we are not without hope! Because deep in our hearts, when we look long enough and hard enough, we discover that we are the beneficiaries of extraordinary gifts given by a generous Father.

Our youth are confronted with a culture that breeds self-centeredness. They long for something more since the shallowness of this culture does not satisfy. There is a more authentic fulfillment that can only be found in God-centeredness. Our youth need to be guided by educators that understand who man is as revealed by the definitive revelation of Christ Jesus. Our perception of God inherently determines our perception of ourselves and our fellow man. The better educators understand God, the better they can lead others to Truth. The better they can help our youth develop the virtue of gratitude.

A sign that redeemed man is becoming his authentic self , is a man with a grateful heart .

By

My wife's name is Susan and we have four children born in '86, '90, '95, and '98. I teach/coach and administrate at a Catholic High School. I have been in the education for 26 years, the first 9 in public K-12 system, 5 years at a community college, and the past 13 in a Catholic High School.

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