Drop Everything, Love Your Wives

In case all of you men have not heard Tuesday is Valentine’s Day.  That’s right the pressure is on to make sure you get that special something to show your wife or fiancée that you love her (Note: I’m writing to men who are married or will be married, but the message should help out all men).

Now don’t worry because this has been resolved for you!  Just buy her a dozen roses (with the free vase!) in her favorite color.  If that doesn’t work, why not get her a pajamagram – what woman doesn’t like new pajamas while it is still cold out.  Not enough, then really show her you love her by buying those diamond earrings she has been longing for (you can even trade them in next year for a larger pair and only pay the difference – imagine how big they will be in ten years!).  If you are running out of time just go for the staples: a nice card with a box of chocolates – that will at least meet the standard of what she is expecting from you.

Truth is, while all of the above are nice and will surely bring a smile to her face, none of it is enough. None of the above meets the real standard for loving our wives or fiancées.

Jesus Christ has set the standard for the gift she deserves.  If you want to show her you love her this Valentine’s Day do this:


Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed Himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the Church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.(Eph. 5: 26-29)

This is the gift she truly desires and deserves from you.  Drop everything that holds you back from loving your wife or fiancée like Christ loved his Church.  Only you know what it is that prevents you from this type of love.  Is it work, friends, sports, pornography, hobbies, selfishness, and on and on and on?  Identify it, seek God’s healing from it (get to the Sacrament of Reconciliation) and drop it from your life.

Be a real man for her – a man of God. All of this requires a wild abandonment to Christ first and foremost. Go to Him, especially in the Eucharist, and learn from Him. Learn to love her as He loved the Church.

Be her gift this Valentine’s Day.

P.S. To my beloved wife Lori: I love you and desire to love you more and more each day as Christ loved His Church.  Thank you for loving me and challenging me to grow as a husband and father – to grow as a man of God. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Michael Lavigne


Michael Lavigne currently serves as the Director of the Office for Lifelong Faith Formation and Parish Support in the Archdiocese of Boston. Previously he served as the director for the Diocese of Portland Office of Lifelong Faith Formation. For the past twenty-one years he has served in the Catholic Church as a retreat coordinator, coordinator of youth ministry and religious education, diocesan leadership team moderator, coach, high school theology teacher and department chair and confirmation coordinator. Michael has earned Bachelor of Arts degrees in psychology and communications from Rhode Island College, as well as a Master of Arts degree in theology from Providence College. Michael is married to Lori and they are the blessed parents of Michael Jr., Mariana, John Paul, Therese, Julia and Chiara. The Lavigne’s reside in Taunton, MA. Michael and Lori write regularly at their blog: www.throughthecatholiclens.com.

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