by Brent Baker
“We don't want to know!” That's how Dennis Miller led the audience in a rebuke of journalists at the conclusion of his appearance on Tuesday's Tonight Show on NBC. Miller, host of a comedy/interview show in HBO and presently a commentator on ABC's Monday Night Football, recalled how reporters “always say that during this war it's the public's need to know about our ground forces being in there.” He rejected the notion: “I'm sitting at home and I'm always exasperating. And you never have the chance to say it, I don't think many of us have a chance to say it and I want to say it to you tonight. We don't want to know! Okay? They're young boys, it's scary enough leave 'em alone!”
Miller's shot at the media followed an interview in which the usually left-leaning comedian, with a dose of libertarianism, urged that drilling for oil be allowed in the Alaska refuge and, to audience applause, praised President Bush's handling of the war. The Saturday Night Live veteran and sometime movie actor remarked: “So you know the difference between Clinton and Bush to me is that Bush somehow has managed to turn off the 'wocka-wocka' '70s porno guitar of the Clinton administration. You know? Clinton looked presidential but he acted like a kid. Bush looks like a kid but so far he acts presidential and I like that about him.”
MRC analyst Geoffrey Dickens took down some of what Miller espoused during his November 6 interview with Jay Leno to plug his new book.
Miller: You know what this country needs is a jolt. Look we are fighting with these people over there, they're our worst enemies. They live to kill us. I mean and we've got Alaska sitting up there and we bought it for dirt cheap, it's loaded with oil and yet we don't go in because there's like five caribou in there, you know? Screw the caribou! I don't give a s— about the caribou! I say you run a pipe in there and suck it dry. The caribou can wait!
Leno: You eat the caribou.
Miller: Exactly. Did you ever see the caribou? They're up there, they can't believe the deal they've got, you know?They walk around and go, “why don't they come in here, 'cuz we're here!” They're looking at each other, “we're caribou, what are they thinking?! Where do they find their oil? Oh off their enemies.” Oh great. You know it just doesn't make any sense to me. I like what Bush is doing so far.
Leno: You're happy with Bush.
Miller: Yeah I think Bush has, listen I don't think he's a-
Applause from the Burbank audience interrupted Miller, but he soon continued:
I don't think he's a great man but how many great men come along in life? Great men are defined by the circumstances they're presented and I think he's doing a nice job. So you know the difference between Clinton and Bush to me is that Bush somehow has managed to turn off the 'wocka- wocka' '70s porno guitar of the Clinton administration. You know? Clinton looked presidential but he acted like a kid. Bush looks like a kid but so far he acts presidential and I like that about him. And I like the fact that he's hired- [interrupted again by applause] -says he's gonna spend $13 billion on education, God knows we need it. If you think about it only one of the three 'r's actually starts with “r.”
Miller moved on to Vice President Cheney:
I like the way Bush has hired Cheney because I think Cheney is the guy you ought to watch for. You don't ever see Cheney any more since this hit the fan. Because he's in the bunker pushing buttons ending enemies' lives, you know? That's a tough guy. Cheney's thinking, “Listen I got a bad ticker, I'd like nothing more than to take a couple of you punks with me.” You know Cheney's, Cheney's like Sanford and Son. He's walking through three heart attacks a day. He just doesn't care. That heart skips more than Richard Simmons on his way to an N'Sync concert.
As his appearance neared its end, Miller announced: “You know if there's one thing that I want to say before I leave here Jay, I know we gotta wrap up. If the working press is listening out there, you always say that during this war it's the public's need to know about our ground forces being in there and stuff like that. They always put it on us. And I'm sitting at home and I'm always exasperating. And you never have the chance to say it, I don't think many of us have a chance to say it and I want to say it to you tonight. 'We don't want to know!' Okay? They're young boys, it's scary enough leave 'em alone! Everybody say it, 'We don't want to know!'”
Leno: “Yeah!”
Miller, with audience joining in unison: “We don't want to know!”
Miller, in a message to the Washington press corps, lectured: “Okay there ya go! Now next time you think that. No it's not for us, it's for you and your cocktail chatter at parties in D.C.! But we don't want to know! Leave our boys alone over there! Alright?!”
That prompted loud applause from the NBC audience.
(This update courtesy of the Media Research Center.)
