By Gary Direnfeld
I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t think of my father. I’m 47 years old and he died 21 years ago.. He was a good man, but in order to give us a charmed life, he was never around — a true workaholic. I was an angry kid and none of my teenage misbehavior seemed to bring him closer, as I had secretly wished.
It wasn’t until he took ill — seriously ill — that we really got to know each other. Upon his illness and subsequent operations, I became his nurse. Almost daily, I would drain his wounds and freshen his bandages — a task my mom could not bear. I appreciated the job though. I was finally close to my dad.
Taking care of him in his last days seemed to lesson the pain of his absence from my younger life. I enjoyed his company and attention and through his suffering I was getting what I had missed for all those years. Over the three years of nursing him, my attitude to life lightened. I was no longer that angry kid.
Now I’m a dad, but not a workaholic. I work from my home and enjoy meals daily with my family. I have one child — a son, and we share a close relationship. I am available for him whenever he needs me. Mission Accomplished. My son only has to concentrate on school, work and friends. Everything I wanted growing up, but here it is taken for granted.
Father’s Day is coming. I still have the pencil holder made from a decorated tin can sitting on my desk — this from a son who doesn’t know what it means to miss your dad. Each year, he gives me something else and each year I care less about the gift and more about the giver. The gift I enjoy, day in and day out, is the pleasure of my son’s company, the security he has with our relationship and my presence in his life.
At heart, all men know the importance of fatherhood. We need to be reminded to act that way for our kids. The rest will take care of itself.
Want a great Father’s Day? Tell your dad you love him and give your kid a hug today – before Father’s Day even arrives.
