War Games

"Ha, you dirty American pig, look at how pitiful your war effort is going now!"

"What are you talking about, my terrorist pal?"

"Sure, your country has big guns and bombs. You were able to sail into Iraq. But we knew you'd have no staying power."

"We have the will to win."

"Then explain why your House and Senate voted to begin withdrawing your troops from Iraq."

"I admit there's just a little confusion in America about what is our best strategy in Iraq, but we are committed to defeating the ideology that brought us 9/11."

"How you make me laugh. Your country is divided and undisciplined. You are unserious. Your politicians are unserious. And your politicians cause my people to laugh out loud."

"Teddy Kennedy has been touring the Middle East again?"

"According to Citizens Against Government Waste, your House added $21 billion in pork to an emergency bill that was intended to fund troops in Iraq and Afghanistan."

"That's true, but Democracy is a messy process. You theocracy types wouldn't understand."

"But we understand all too well. Tell me, what does $74 million for peanut storage have to do with your war on terror?"

"The protein in fresh peanuts gives our troops the strength they need to fight you. The fresher the peanuts, the better our troops fight!"

"Nice try, my swine American friend. Then tell me: what does $25 million for spinach producers and $285 million for dairy farmers have to do with your war?"

"Spinach and milk also keep our troops healthy and strong so they can kick down doors and capture terrorists."

 "Funny! Then tell me, what does $50 million for asbestos mitigation at the U.S. Capitol Plant have to do with winning your war?"

"It means you should be very afraid. My country has devised a powerful weapon that will explode processed asbestos over Tehran. If Ahmadinejad doesn't stop yapping, he could die from an asbestos-related illness 50 years from now!"

"Good one, you dog. But your Senate passed another pork-laden bill. What does a $20 million reimbursement to Nevada for insect damage have to do with your little war?"

"You just wait. At old nuclear testing sites in Nevada, we are successfully mutating the genes of flies. We've created monster-sized creatures that will fly into the headquarters of enemy combatants and bug them to death."

"Oh, you are good, you clump of camel-dung. But explain to me this: How will $16 million for security upgrades to the House of Representatives office buildings help you defeat my people?"

"See, Democrats in the House are soooooo eager to win the war on terror, they've been dragging suspected terrorists into their offices to interrogate them. The $16 million is not to protect Congress from terrorists, but terrorists from the Democrats in Congress."

"You are a very funny American pig. But tell me: why has your Senate funded $3.5 million for guided tours of your Capitol — this will only help us terrorists find more places to blow up!"

"Because we knew you and your pals would use these tours to case new bomb targets. The tour funding is part of our master plan to catch you in the act!"

"Just admit it, you American pig. Our strategy is better than yours. We think in terms of years and decades and centuries. We have the will to blow ourselves up. And we will not stop until our will is imposed on the world."

"Some of us know this of you."

"But your people think in days and weeks. They don't even know they are at war! Your politicians exploit your people's laziness and ignorance to win power. You are weak and you will lose."

"We're a little fuzzy, I admit; but I assure you, we will win."

"Really? What does $100 million in funding for political party conventions have to do with your will to win?"

"When we capture terrorists we're going to threaten to make them attend."

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  • Guest

    Not very practical. Yet has a few points. But! But my friend you showed never make fun of anyone. For a Catholic website I am disapointed.Frown

  • Guest

    Finally, someone sees the problem with liberals who don't support our troops.  Don't they know that the world sees what we do and that hurts our troops.  They know what we are fighting for…democracy.  Why don't the liberals in Washington fight for democracy.  Who ever heard of a timeline that the world can see for withdrawal of troops.  Hello? The terrorists probably LOVE that!

  • Guest

    I for one am not disappointed.  The goal of this website is to proclaim truth, right?  Well, here they used satire as a tool not to make "fun of" but to shine a bright light onto foolishness and error.  And it did it while putting a smile on my face.  I say well done! 

  • Guest

    Nice!

    GK – God is good!

  • Guest

    I am not offended by the satire.

    I disagree that Congresss is wrong. Iraq has yet to launch a real drive for national reconcilation and I don't think we can expect real progress until it does. So why not force the issue with a deadline?

  • Guest

    God loves you .

    Of stategy – if a deadline exists between allies, YOU DON’T PUBLICIZE IT! Besides, it is up to the President, by Constitutional powers that Democrats seem increasingly to forget, to set any schedules, deadlines, etc. Congress has the power to say ‘No more!’ by cutting off funding for the war. But, they don’t have intestinal fortitude for that.

    We leave Iraq in disarray at our own expense, that is for sure. We will get many 9-11-01′s on our soil, in our cities, within our energy grids, within schools, churches, etc., in response to our perceived lack of vigilance for freedom.

    And, I might add, then all and sundry will be whining ‘why didn’t you DO something?’ Iraq is just what we are trying ‘to DO’. Maybe we can do it better, and maybe we will have more to do. But, it is DOing something.

    Remember, I love you, too

    Through Christ, with Christ, in Christ,

    Pristinus Sapienter

    (wljewell @catholicexchange.com or … yahoo.com)

  • Guest

    A deadline is not to be decided by politicians but by commanders led by our Commander in Chief, they will do just fine.

    We have a Supreme Court that legislates.

    We have legislators who want to be generals.

    We have retired generals who want to be reporters.

    We have reporters who want to be deceitful.

    We have a country that does not know truth.

    $21B in pork is a disgrace, where is the line item veto?

    http://www.nytimes.com/packages/pdf/opinion/20070330_opchart.pdf

    Notice some of our so-called "Catholic" Senators who voted for this ridiculous pork-laden bill:

    Akaka (D-HI), Yea
    Alexander (R-TN), Nay
    Allard (R-CO), Nay
    Baucus (D-MT), Yea
    Bayh (D-IN), Yea
    Bennett (R-UT), Nay
    Biden (D-DE), Yea
    Bingaman (D-NM), Yea
    Bond (R-MO), Nay
    Boxer (D-CA), Yea
    Brown (D-OH), Yea
    Brownback (R-KS), Nay
    Bunning (R-KY), Nay
    Burr (R-NC), Nay
    Byrd (D-WV), Yea
    Cantwell (D-WA), Yea
    Cardin (D-MD), Yea
    Carper (D-DE), Yea
    Casey (D-PA), Yea
    Chambliss (R-GA), Nay
    Clinton (D-NY), Yea
    Coburn (R-OK), Nay
    Cochran (R-MS), Nay
    Coleman (R-MN), Nay
    Collins (R-ME), Nay
    Conrad (D-ND), Yea
    Corker (R-TN), Nay
    Cornyn (R-TX), Nay
    Craig (R-ID), Nay
    Crapo (R-ID), Nay
    DeMint (R-SC), Nay
    Dodd (D-CT), Yea
    Dole (R-NC), Nay
    Domenici (R-NM), Nay

    Dorgan (D-ND), Yea
    Durbin (D-IL), Yea
    Ensign (R-NV), Nay
    Enzi (R-WY), Not Voting
    Feingold (D-WI), Yea
    Feinstein (D-CA), Yea
    Graham (R-SC), Nay
    Grassley (R-IA), Nay
    Gregg (R-NH), Nay
    Hagel (R-NE), Yea
    Harkin (D-IA), Yea
    Hatch (R-UT), Nay
    Hutchison (R-TX), Nay
    Inhofe (R-OK), Nay
    Inouye (D-HI), Yea
    Isakson (R-GA), Nay
    Johnson (D-SD), Not Voting
    Kennedy (D-MA), Yea
    Kerry (D-MA), Yea
    Klobuchar (D-MN), Yea
    Kohl (D-WI), Yea
    Kyl (R-AZ), Nay
    Landrieu (D-LA), Yea
    Lautenberg (D-NJ), Yea
    Leahy (D-VT), Yea
    Levin (D-MI), Yea
    Lieberman (ID-CT), Nay
    Lincoln (D-AR), Yea
    Lott (R-MS), Nay
    Lugar (R-IN), Nay
    Martinez (R-FL), Nay
    McCain (R-AZ), Nay
    McCaskill (D-MO), Yea
    McConnell (R-KY), Nay
    Menendez (D-NJ), Yea
    Mikulski (D-MD), Yea
    Murkowski (R-AK), Nay
    Murray (D-WA), Yea
    Nelson (D-FL), Yea
    Nelson (D-NE), Yea
    Obama (D-IL), Yea
    Pryor (D-AR), Yea
    Reed (D-RI), Yea
    Reid (D-NV), Yea
    Roberts (R-KS), Nay
    Rockefeller (D-WV), Yea
    Salazar (D-CO), Yea
    Sanders (I-VT), Yea
    Schumer (D-NY), Yea
    Sessions (R-AL), Nay
    Shelby (R-AL), Nay
    Smith (R-OR), Yea
    Snowe (R-ME), Nay
    Specter (R-PA), Nay
    Stabenow (D-MI), Yea
    Stevens (R-AK), Nay
    Sununu (R-NH), Nay
    Tester (D-MT), Yea
    Thomas (R-WY), Nay
    Thune (R-SD), Nay
    Vitter (R-LA), Nay
    Voinovich (R-OH), Nay
    Warner (R-VA), Nay
    Webb (D-VA), Yea
    Whitehouse (D-RI), Yea
    Wyden (D-OR), Yea
  • Guest

    God loves you .

    Well said, bomeara – it seems the circus in the Beltway adds rings as each year in Iraq goes by. And, we seem to have enough clowns to un-stuff the VW and stuff a school bus!

    Remember, I love you, too

    Through Christ, with Christ, in Christ,

    Pristinus Sapienter

    (wljewell @catholicexchange.com or … yahoo.com)

  • Guest

    I didn't know Charles Schumer was Catholic.

  • Guest

    FOR YOU PEOPLE WHO STILL THINK 911 WAS CAUSED BY ISLAMIC TERRORISTS PLEASE STUDY THE FACTS:  (1) OFFICE FIRES BURN AT 1200F MAX AND THEREFORE CANNOT MELT STEEL THAT HAS A 2750F MELTING POINT, YET MOLTEN STEEL WAS FOUND ALL OVER THE WTC; (2) PRIOR TO 911, NO STEEL-FRAMED BUILDING HAS EVER COLLAPSED DUE TO FIRE; (3) THREE WTC BUILDINGS FELL ON 911, BUT ONLY TWO WERE HIT BY PLANES; (4) 47-STORY, STEEL-FRAMED WTC 7 CRUMBLED TO THE GROUND IN 6.5 SECONDS AT FREE FALL SPEED EVEN THOUGH 92% OF ITS FLOORS WERE FREE OF FIRE; (5) THE ORIGINAL HOLE IN THE PENTAGON WAS A 10-FOOT BY 10-FOOT SQUARE THAT SUPPOSEDLY A 200-FOOT WIDE BOEING 757 FIT INTO; (6) NO PLANE REMAINS WERE FOUND AT PENTAGON OR FIELD IN PENNSYLVANIA; (7) CELL PHONE CALLS FROM PLANE CANNOT BE MADE ABOVE 8000 FEET; (8) THREE MILITARY AIRPORTS ARE WITHIN 10 MINUTES OF PENTAGON YET INCREDIBLY NO FIGHTERS WERE DISPATCHED TO PROTECT THE DC AIRSPACE AFTER WTC 1 AND 2 HAD ALREADY BEEN HIT; (9) OWNER OF WTC BUILDING MADE $7 BILLION IN SIX WEEKS FROM $14 MILLION INVESTMENT; (10) NYC WAS LOOKING AT $1 BILLION DOLLAR REPAIR JOB ON WTC 1 AND 2 TO REMOVE ASBESTOS INSULLATION; (11) US PATRIOT GRANTS POLICE STATE POWER TO EXECUTIVE BRANCH.  DO THE RESEARCH!!!

  • Guest

    NOTE THAT I HAVE NOT GIVEN MY OPINION NOR TOLD YOU HOW TO THINK.  THE FACTS ABOVE ARE THE FACTS.  YOU DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.  TURN OFF YOUR TV AND SPEND SOME TIME READING THE SIGNS OF THE TIMES.  STUDY REVELATION 17 AND 18.  WE ALL KNOW THAT MAINSTREAM MEDIA IS NOT FEEDING US THE TRUTH.  USE ALTERATIVE MEANS OF GATHERING THE FACTS AND THEN DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.  "TOO OFTEN PEOPLE ENJOY THE LUXURY OF OPINION WITHOUT THE DISCOMFORT OF THOUGH." -JFK

  • Guest

    Careful, Kelle. 

    The Trilateral Commission may be reading this forum!

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