Unwinding the Tangle of Loneliness

Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time
First Reading: Genesis 2:18-24
http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/100415.cfm

Sometimes we feel that itch inside that not everything is quite right. We know, deep down, somewhere that not all is right with the world, that it ought to be a little different than it is. One of the most painful aches of the human heart is one that most of us experience at one time or another: Loneliness. In this Sunday’s first reading, we take a hard look at human loneliness from God’s perspective and find an interesting remedy that hints at the solution to the crisis of solitude.

Alone

Can you imagine being the first human being on planet Earth? All by yourself, looking around at the beautiful things you find, having plenty of resources, but always aware in the pit of your stomach that you’re the only one here? It might be easier to imagine being the last person on Earth, surviving after some terrible disaster, but longing for a return to brighter days. Being the first is different. You would be looking forward, not back, longing for something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

The Meaning of Being Alone

Yet being alone is not all bad. Solitude has a way of sharpening the mind, of letting us forget the constant distractions, of allowing us a quiet space simply to be. In that quietness, aloneness, we can if we try, find ourselves. That is, we can become conscious of “who I am,” achieving a level of self-knowledge that is unobtainable in the hustle-bustle of daily life. Going on a silent retreat, or even just on long walk, can help us reach that place of knowing who I am. Being alone can also help us come to a consciousness of “what (or who) I am for.” We often talk about “what” my mission is, or “what” I do for a job, but when we have those most meaningful conversations about what really matters to me, how I see my life as important or making a contribution, our minds almost always turn to “who’s” not “what’s,” to people, not things. If you ask your friend about what is most important to him, he will not likely talk about his prized possessions, but about his wife, his children, his parents, his friends. When we find ourselves all alone, we can come to a deeper realization of “who I am for,” the people I am called to love, the family I am meant to serve. In an upside-down way, solitude helps us focus on what really matters, and what really matters is other people. Solitude should not draw us into ourselves, but out of ourselves. The deeper we realize “who I am,” the more we come to know “who I am for.”

Man is Not an Animal

When we hear God say of Adam, “It is not good that man should be alone,” we sense the rightness of this declaration and anticipate that God will add people for him to be with, but at first he doesn’t. In fact, God first brings animals to Adam to see if they could be suitable companions for him. And while we might say that dog is “man’s best friend,” a dog or any other animal cannot fulfill Adam’s longing. Adam names the animals, showing his dominion over them, which should never be confused with domination. The Catechism says that each animal “reflects in its own way a ray of God’s infinite wisdom and goodness” (CCC 339). Each of the animals is an important part of creation, revealing something to us about who God is and how he thinks. Yet none of the animals is like Adam. Not one of them can fulfill the yearning in his heart: “There was not found a helper fit (ezer kenegdo) for him” (Gen 2:20). Through this exercise of having Adam meet and name the animals, God reveals that man is different. Adam is not an animal. He is made for something more.

Man and Woman

After the parade of animals, God lulls Adam into a deep sleep. While Adam is sleeping, God takes one of his ribs and forms a woman out of it. This mysterious way of telling the story reveals something significant about the relationship of man and woman. Neither man nor woman are mere animals. God has created them with a higher nature. So man and woman are set apart from the rest of creation, and yet they are not in themselves identical, but complementary. There is a real difference between man and woman, and yet a substantial unity. They are made for one another and yet are distinct. While on one level, Adam or Eve all alone are created in God’s “image and likeness” (see Gen 1:26), now we can see that neither of them all alone truly filled out that picture. Only when Adam and Eve are united together does the full weight of being made in God’s image and likeness come to the fore.

Communion

This is where the reading comes full circle. God had pointed out that Adam was alone and that that was not a good thing. Now we find Adam together with Eve and Adam exclaims, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” (2:23) He realizes what/who he is for. While he might have come to a deep self-knowledge during his period of loneliness, now he comes to a realization of his purpose: He is made for communion with another. Adam is designed to be united with Eve and Eve is designed to be one with Adam. God has offered to humanity a solution to the problem of loneliness: interpersonal communion. Adam, as a person, is not meant to live on a dead end street, all by himself, playing with his dog while he waits for death. He is meant to love Eve. She too, is not destined for a life of loneliness, but for communion with Adam. While for many people, this “communion destiny” is fulfilled in literal marriage, for many others, it can be found in communion with God, in friendship, in a loving community. The point is that human beings are not silos. We are made for each other and for God.

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Mark Giszczak (“geese-check”) was born and raised in Ann Arbor, MI. He studied philosophy and theology at Ave Maria College in Ypsilanti, MI and Sacred Scripture at the Augustine Institute of Denver, CO. He recently received his Ph. D. in Biblical Studies at the Catholic University of America. He currently teaches courses in Scripture at the Augustine Institute, where he has been on faculty since 2010. Dr. Giszczak has participated in many evangelization projects and is the author of the CatholicBibleStudent.com blog. He has written introductions to every book of the Bible that are hosted at CatholicNewsAgency.com. Dr. Giszczak, his wife and their daughter, live in Colorado where they enjoy camping and hiking in the Rocky Mountains.

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