Can garage door guys work in the pouring rain? Because naturally, after months of drought, it’s raining on the only day Allen said he could be here. I called him last week.
“Uh oh, where’d he go this time?”
“Actually, he hasn’t left yet. And it’s the Netherlands.”
“He’s in town and your door’s broken? No way.”
“Way.” For once, for some strange, unexplainable cosmic reason, the garage door broke BEFORE my husband went out of town. Anything with a motor…any major appliance…or anything that can explode, fail or flood will do so when my husband is out of town. The garage door is a repeat offender.
And no, the fun is not limited to inanimate, valuable objects requiring service calls or replacement. Dogs run away, children get the flu, I get the flu, ants invade and the price of wine, coffee and chocolate, my Temporary Single Parenting Survival Trifecta (TSPST), skyrockets overnight.
Five trips ago, the garage door opener broke, the dog ran away, we lost three trees in an ice storm, the power went out, the furnace broke, the kids had four snow days in a row and my daughter got strep throat.
Four trips ago, the garage door opener broke, my son had a sinus infection and missed three days of school, the car got a flat tire and the dog ran away.
Three trips ago, the dog ran away, we had an ice storm, the garage door was frozen shut and my daughter got Scarlet Fever. Over the weekend. When the doctor’s office was closed.
Two trips ago, our VISA was temporarily cancelled due to a credit union security breach, my washing machine immediately died and flooded half my kitchen and new hardwood floors in the process.
During the last trip, the garage door started misbehaving, the Internet went out, the roof leaked, leaving a gaping hole in the bathroom ceiling and the dog ran away.
Having my husband gone isn’t all bad. We can, without too much guilt, sleep in, rent chick flicks, maintain sole possession of the remote control and eat ice cream for dinner.
Except now my husband is out of the country for almost a week, and I fear the breakdowns will be in direct proportion to the distance and number of days he’s gone. Hang on a second. Mr. Smith is here….
Yep. We need a whole new garage door.