THE B-LIST: 7 ALIEN RACES WHO WILL NEVER SPEAK LATIN

In the last edition of Pulp Catholicism we had a little fun with the idea of going to mass on alien planets where they most likely won’t be speaking English. Afterwards, the idea came up that maybe the language barrier with alien races could be sidestepped through the use of Latin, the universal language of the Church. Hey, it worked for centuries here on Earth right? But what if we happen to run into races who don’t really have the capacity to mimic human language at all? Assuming they don’t have any Babel Fish or other similar devices lying around, it seems like they would have to go with the Novus Ordo out of sheer necessity. So what would their masses be like if they turn out to be like some of the alien races we’ve already seen in the movies…

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THE ALIENS from CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND

Though the little doughboys who show up in Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi classic seem to have some method of transmitting images into the minds of others, the only real communication that occurs between humans and aliens in the film is through the use of Solresol, an artificial language based on the seven-note diatonic scale developed in the 19th century by French musician Jean Francois Sudre. If you’re among those who feel

David

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