Picture the worst fight you’ve ever had with your husband. Now imagine that your best friend is summering in Rome and is unable to talk you down from a ledge and/or lock you out of your various social media accounts. (You have handed over all your passwords, yes? Please tell me you’ve handed over your passwords.)
The stage is set.
The spotlight is on you.
And the world waits with bated breath for you to drop a little marital truth in their lap. Oh yes, long suffering wives, your moment is here.
The only question is whether to bless your followers with this little gem:
Or this one:
Ha. As if. This one has your husband’s number, area code included. Perfecto.
After sharing your heart with your Pinterest peeps, perhaps a little 140-character Twitter slaying is in order? That’ll teach him. And don’t forget Facebook. Facebook most likely contains the highest concentration of his peers. That has “must-do” written all over it.
Hush, you sucker of a conscience. He should have thought twice before adding salt to your already perfectly salted pot roast. How on earth did you end up married to a man with flawed taste buds anyway? The injustice is mind-boggling.
Now I’m not saying you’re not in the right here, you Top Chef you, but before you click pin, tweet, or post, let’s strategize for a moment. Even if something went awry during Marriage Draft week (most likely not true, but for the sake of argument…), the contract is signed, your team is set, and that husband of yours is your teammate. It’s time to go all George S. Patton on your union and remember to:
“Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.”
Because as much as you might want to throw your captain overboard and steer this ship yourself, a ship without a crew (and one individual a crew does not make) is doomed. The fact of the matter is that if your not-so-better half goes down, he’s taking you with him.
Now I don’t mean that he’ll necessarily take to social media and accept your invitation to do battle, but with each brilliantly crafted update you’re essentially weakening a union of which you – like it or not in the heat of the moment – are a part of.
Perhaps you’re thinking that he won’t see it anyway? Are you sure? Unless you have a protected account to which he’s not invited (not a good idea, cutie pie) he may occasionally secretly take a peek (being as entranced with you as he surely is). And that grapevine? So not your friend. Honestly, even if he were to never catch wind of your stellar social media performance, it’s out there floating above your marriage and in some mysterious way, silently doing harm to it. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.
So, I know: he deserves it, he earned it, and you’re simply trying to blow off a little steam. Maybe you’re even hoping he does catch wind of your social media truth fest and learn a little lesson. I get it. I feel you. All I’m saying is: keep your eye on the prize. You deserve a thriving marriage (in which your pot roast is never criticized) and though it may seem counter-intuitive, a social media rant isn’t going to move you any closer to that goal. Disrespect, deserved or not, is a marriage killer.
An overly-salted pot roast, on the other hand, could go miles. (Wink, wink.)
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