A men’s advice column published on the sexually suggestive AskMen.com website, which describes a coercive plan of action for men on how to talk their pregnant girlfriends into aborting their unborn child, has prompted outrage from pro-life groups and commentators. The backlash over the column appears to have been so forceful that the site has now pulled the offending piece.
The advice column was written by Isabella Snow, who is described as a Sex Education Correspondent. Snow offers what she claims to be an insider’s look at how women react to becoming pregnant and the most effective ways to dissuade them from giving birth.
“For some women, getting pregnant can start clocks ticking and make them suddenly want to be mothers, despite previous agreements,” warned Snow after noting that “an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy can dramatically affect an otherwise loving long-term relationship,” especially if “they discussed the possibility and specifics (of pregnancy) at the start of the relationship.”
The presumed conclusion of the pre-pregnancy discussion is that the man “may hope she’s going to stick to the original plan and terminate the pregnancy.”
The column has been criticized for focusing on the wants and preferred lifestyle of the man, while relegating the conceived child to non-person status and the mother to an irrational and emotional basketcase that can be persuaded to deny her new maternal feelings if the right technique is used on her.
Considering the life-changing effect of becoming parents, Snow states, “Don’t just tell her you don’t want to be a father.” Snow suggests eliciting economic considerations by asking “Who’s going to care for the baby while you’re working? Will you have to move to a new home? Will you have to sell your Harley and get a station wagon?”
“You just need to take care with the presentation,” Snow advises. “When you’re ready to share your opinion, you’ll want to use a calm, steady tone. You’ll also want to take care with your word choice; pregnant women tend to feel like they’re carrying someone, as opposed to something, even if she is just a month or so pregnant.”
Snow concludes that if the man follows all her “steps” and the “woman decides to have the baby anyway, this does not mean you’re required to get married or move in together,” and finally abrogates all fatherhood responsibility by stating, “This was her decision, not yours, and the bulk of the responsibility is now hers.”
Serrin Foster, President of Feminists for Life, told the Catholic News Agency she thought Snow’s column was “absolutely vile” but did reveal the pressure a pregnant woman can face from “fearful fathers, embarrassed parents, well-meaning friends, people in medical settings in high schools and colleges who don’t see a way for her to have a baby and continue her education or career.”
“It’s very reminiscent about what we hear from women who have been to clinics to have an abortion,” she remarked. She added that the content of the column “isn’t anything new,” but does speak to “the need of the pro-life movement and the pro-woman and pro-man movement to speak about the important benefits of having children in their lives.”
Well known pro-life speaker, columnist and blogger Jill Stanek observed that the essence of the Snow’s column is the promotion of men’s selfishness.
“Copious hints and suggestions are given to help the man make his partner feel relaxed and comfortable as he attempts to convince her that an abortion is the most favorable option. It’s for a purely selfish motive: becoming a father could “put tremendous stress on a relationship, particularly if [he doesn’t] want to have a child, but [doesn’t] want to lose the girl, either,” Stanek writes.
“Ultimately, according to Snow, if a man has made it clear he has no desire for the pregnancy to continue, he is freed from any obligation to stick with the relationship.”
Following the criticism over the column, it was pulled from the website earlier today. Enquiries by LifeSiteNews to AskMen.com for an explanation for this were not returned.