Maternal Revenge Phenomena: Romantic Gifts

So let me guess:  Dinner? As in, outside of your own kitchen where someone else cooks, serves and cleans the kitchen?  And as a double bonus, no dogs or kids begging under the table or jumping on it to steal the last highly coveted, oft fought over slice of noncomplex carb heaven otherwise known as garlic bread. Roses?  Perfume?  The coveted Blue Box?  Or even better, maybe he took the kids out for the entire evening and left you, your mindless paperback and bubble-filled bathtub all alone for a change.

I got storm doors.  Two storm doors.  With impact resistant, double layered shatterproof glass and triple deadbolt protection.  Now I can safely bang my head against them without worry of glass shards impaling themselves into my freshly botoxed forehead (what a total waste of needle pricks)…not to mention securely lock out undesirables.  Like my teenagers when they steal the last slice of garlic bread.  Or my husband, when he announced we're getting storm doors and isn't it timely they'll arrive for installation on Valentine's Day?

I mean, who needs chocolate, flowers or Tiffanys to make their heart flutter when they can have storm doors? This is akin to getting a new washing machine for my tenth anniversary.  Or the yard tiller for Mother's Day.  But the sad part?  I was thrilled with the washing machine. I love using my tiller and loaning it to neighbors.  I really wanted these storm doors.  What's become of me?  When did I trade choosing between silver and gold for a new charm bracelet for choosing between polished nickel or brass for the new storm door hardware?

Wait a minute. Hear that?  Do you hear my mother laughing hysterically from the pool in her Ft. Myers Over 55 Active Lifestyle Community?  Once again, she's relishing in my domestic woes. Once again, she's fulfilled her oft hissed, "You just wait…"  This, naturally, is related to, "Some day I hope you grow up and have children just like you!"  Yes, Maternal Revenge Phenomena strikes again.

My mother wore a plain white gold wedding band. I knew my parents were poor graduate students when they met and married…but I never understood why dad didn't get her a "proper" diamond when they both worked their way up the professional ladders.  The logic of an eight, ten and twelve year old girl saw other women with diamonds; watched the jewelry store commercials-what did I know? 

Now, with my own children, mortgage, college tuition bills and most recent property tax increase, I'm surprised my mother-with four children (in college at once), a mortgage, and who knows how many property tax increases, didn't have to hawk her wedding band to pay the latest orthodontist bill or put gas in the station wagon.

Ooooooh, Be still my heart. I hear the installer in my driveway now.  Okay, let her laugh at this one. She earned it.

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  • Guest

    Karen, you and I are definitely on the same page!  I choose the practical gifts every time!

     

    My husband and I went out for a "romantic" belated Valentine's Day dinner this past Wednesday while my mother watched the baby.  We talked about the baby the whole time, and I kept looking at my watch and wondering why the service was so slow, because I wanted to get home to him.  It was the longest 2.5 hours of my life!   

  • Guest

    So I am not the only woman who ever got a tiller for a present.

  • Guest

    TOP THIS!!! I once got an Enchiridion of Indulgences! I didn't know I wanted it because I didn't even know what one was!

  • Guest

    Vacuum cleaner. Last Christmas. And I was THRILLED!

    Heidi Hess Saxton Editor, "Canticle" Magazine Blogroll

  • Guest

    I got a lightweight vacuum Christmas 2006, and I was also happy with this.  My husband knows better than to buy me jewelry;  I can think of so many other things I'd rather have him spend money on.  I don't have an engagement ring either, just a wedding band.

  • Guest

    Me, too, Claire (the ring that is). Now an Oreck vaccum would have me swooning — is that the kind you got?

  • Guest

    No, it's the Eureka Optima.  It's pretty powerful for being so small.  My main priority was the lightweight feature, which is great, but my two complaints are that it has a really short cord, and the dusting hose is way too short.  The novelty has worn off, but it was a big thrill when I first got it.  I guess I need to get a life!

  • Guest

    Or a maid. LOL.

  • Guest

    Oh, that would be nice!  Except that it drives me crazy to have people working in my house!

  • Guest

    I've got you all beat: an ironing board for my first anniversary!

    No, I didn't ask for it.  Yes, I'm still using it after almost-48 years (mostly for decorations). 

    It's taken most of those years to get him to cough up a pot of purple hyacinths I can enjoy now and plant in my garden in the fall.  There's hope for us, yet! 

    Laughing

  • Guest

    Okay, that's one practical gift that I would not be happy with!  I avoid ironing like the plague!  

  • Guest

    Me, too!!!  That's why I use it for decorations!  Laughing

    (Claire, hope you and hubby–forgot his name!–and Jeffery Stuart are well and happy.  How's the baby doing with his rough start [fetal alcohol syndrome?]?  Continuing to keep you in prayer.)

  • Guest

    He's doing pretty well so far (other than not napping, but at least he does well at night!).  He has really good head control, upper body strength and lower body strength.  He has a good temperament, with just occasional fussiness.  I'm waiting for him to really start smiling;  he's on the verge!  Thanks for the prayers.

  • Guest

    Thanks for the update, Claire.  Don't worry too much about the napping: once he starts moving, he'll wear himself out.  Enjoy that first real smile: it's priceless.

  • Guest

    stop the presses…..yes, I asked for them for Christmas….and he gave them to me….new toilet seats!!!    OH HOW GLORIOUS!!!! 

     

    My kids are still laughing and I love my husband for getting me what I truly wanted ;)…….

     

    Jesus, I Trust in You!

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