Welcome to another episode of Life With College Boy. Today, we sneak a look inside the minds of College Boy and The Mom during his first ever trip home since starting school at an out of state university.
College Boy: I hope mom doesn’t mind I invited Corine over for dinner.
The Mom: OHMYGAWD he invited that adorable girl over for dinner! That is soooo sweet! Oh crap, I gotta clean this house!
College Boy: They have new storm doors. I had to learn how to use the triple bolt locks, add a new key to my key ring and remember they’re there so I stop walking into them.
The Mom: I have to remember to give him a key to the new storm doors; plus explain how they work.
College Boy: When a phone rings, it is not necessarily for me.
The Mom: When a phone rings, it is not necessarily for me.
College Boy: I get to cook in a real kitchen and eat whatever I want, yay!
The Mom: I don’t have to cook all week because he’s home and has taken over the kitchen. Yay! I’ll eat whatever he makes.
College Boy: Free washing machine and dryer, score!
The Mom: Ohmygawd does he EVER do laundry? What is that smell? Add detergent and bleach to the shopping list.
College Boy: A car! A car! I am so totally going to go see all of my friends.
The Mom: I will not see my car all weekend.
College Boy: Ahhhhh, nothing like being home in my own bed.
The Mom: I wonder if it’s time I ditch the teddy bear sheets and get him some plain grown-up linens?
College Boy: Cool. Green grapes!
The Mom: When did he start eating grapes? That brings him up to TWO kinds of fruit he’ll actually touch.
College Boy: I wonder if mom has any cash.
The Mom: I wonder if he’s hit up his father for any cash yet.
College Boy: She keeps looking at me. She keeps hugging me. I should be creeped out but I’m not.
The Mom: He keeps hugging me. I figured he’d be over that by now—especially in front of his friends. I am going to work this for all it’s worth.
College Boy: I wonder if she’s going to make me go to church this weekend.
The Mom: I wonder if I should insist he come to church with us this weekend.
College Boy: When did my mother start staying up so late?
The Mom: Does that boy ever go to bed?
And before either one is prepared, the week is over.
College Boy: I wonder who’s house I can go to for the next break.
The Mom: I can’t wait until he comes home for the next break!