“Someday I may be lonely for the little eyes that seek me out despite my best efforts.” Wrote a mom of nine in Tampa, Florida. “But come mid-summer, I just want to hide.”
School’s been out three weeks now, and I’m in desperate need of new places to hide from the kids — they’re getting too smart for my own good. I called my mother for advice, but all I got from her was hysterical laughter. I hung up and wrote to some Bus Stop Mommies.
Note: Names were changed to protect the innocent and their hiding places.
After she tried the yard, playhouse, back porch, swimming pool, garage, car, toilet, closet, and behind the bedroom door, A.K. discovered her best hiding place is right out in the open. “I put an upside down heart shaped pillow over my head and they leave me alone. I find it scares them enough to see mom looking so funny and I can manage a quick moment of peace that way. I'm sure it's a sight and they know it’d better be fire or blood to disturb me from that position.”
J.W. wrote, “I know how you feel! The only place I can hide is their closet! You know how we’re always trying to get them to clean them out? My kids are 14 and 16, so telling them they’re going to clean out their closets is like telling them they're being put up for adoption (however, they'd go if they didn't have to clean). I tell them I’m going to clean it and they’re welcome to help. They avoid their rooms for hours and I get some peace and quiet.”
Several Mommies mentioned closets, bathtubs, and shower curtains, water optional. “When the kids got old enough, I promised if they entered without permission, I’d hang out with them and their friends in whatever I was wearing in the bathroom.”
L.B. does what my mother always threatened to do, change her name. “I'm a mom of four kids and the way I survive is to change my name — I only answer to ‘Fred’! I also keep Cheerios on the bottom shelf of the pantry so if anyone was ‘starving’ they could help themselves. I have to take an afternoon ‘happy-nap’, or they’d be ‘very unhappy’! When they’re ‘bored’, I suggest they go tidy their dresser drawers.”
I heard from smart dads who leave mom home alone in the quiet. From Colorado, “I go to the Children’s Museum. There’s only one way out and I park on the bench by that door.”
My phone rang. A voice at the other end whispered, “Try the crawl space under the house,” then hung up.
Mom?
If she’s not hiding, you can reach Karen via www.busstopmommies.com.
Karen Rinehart is a syndicated newspaper columnist, public speaker, and creator of The Bus Stop Mommies™. Her book, Invisible Underwear, Bus Stop Mommies and Other Things True To Life, is a popular read in book clubs, school pick up lines, and soccer fields. She enjoys hearing from readers across the States and as far away as Australia, Japan, and England. You can read more at www.busstopmommies.com. Karen lives in North Carolina with her two kids, two dogs, and one husband, where they attend St. James Catholic Church. (Well, they leave the dogs at home.)
