Homosexual Marriage: Only Ourselves to Blame

by Bryce J. Christenson on March 14, 2012 · 3 comments

Meltdown in religious orthodoxy harmed and de-natured wedlock by destroying more than sexual restraint. As defined by religious tradition, marriage demanded—and taught—a deep capacity for self-sacrifice and selfless service. But self-sacrifice disappeared from the cultural catechism written by the Woodstock Generation. In the same survey, sociologists who limned a decline in religious faith in the 70s and 80s also tracked a sharp rise in “hedonistic values,” an increasing desire for “self-gratification,” and an increasing absorption in the imperatives of “self-actualization.”

This insistent emphasis on Self could only weaken and deracinate wedlock, regardless of whether homosexuals were ever permitted to take vows. But even more astonishing than the widespread rejection of traditional Christian and Jewish doctrines governing marriage and family life was the headlong apostasy of many clergy, particularly in America’s influential mainline Protestant denominations.

As a disgruntled Episcopalian observer has remarked, many mainline Protestant leaders caved in to cultural pressures, riding the turbulent currents of the sexual revolution as they catechized their parishioners in “being tolerant of non-marital liaisons” among heterosexuals and in accepting “new and non-traditional family forms,” including single-parent and cohabiting-parent families.

The loss of the natural anchor of a healthy home economy and the supernatural sanctions of religious doctrine left marriage at the mercy of adverse economic, political, and cultural currents for decades before homosexuals ever sought state and church imprimatur for wedding vows. In curious ways, these currents have combined the wild anarchy of raw individualism with the focused fury of political ideology and corporate greed.

Economic pressures

Once an essential element of the natural home economy, the gender complementarity of wedlock was exposed to particularly negative pressures in the 60s and 70s. As the distinguished economist Gary Becker demonstrated in a landmark study published in 1965—just when those negative pressures were gathering strength—marriage draws institutional strength from a complementary husband-wife division of labour.

Such a gendered marital division of labour had, of course, emerged spontaneously in pre-industrial agrarian cultures, but a somewhat artificial breadwinner/homemaker version of this marital division of labour had remained in place for decades in an industrialized United States, as labour unions demanded and employers and government officials acquiesced in a “family wage” system which paid a married father enough to support an at-home wife and their children, while deliberately keeping married women out of the labour market. However, as religion lost cultural strength in the firestorm of the 60s, employers and government officials turned decisively against the “family wage” system and the marital gender roles it protected. Indeed, lawmakers outlawed the deliberate gender discrimination essential to the “family wage” system.

Corporate employers needed no encouragement for abandoning the family-wage system and attacking marital complementarity: these employers had long recognized that bringing wives into the labour market would drive down wages. Politicians turned against marital complementarity for a more complex mix of reasons. Some were simply responding to the lobbying of corporate employers. Others resonated—consciously or unconsciously—to the ideological imperatives of utopian thinkers (Plato, Campanella, Bellamy, Morris, Wells, Skinner) who dreamed of making all citizens completely devoted to the ideal state as they abolished (or at least weakened) the competing loyalties of marriage and family.

The feminist elements of such utopian ideology gained strength in the 70s as doctrinaire gender-egalitarians rallied round the Equal Rights Amendment, drawing intermittent support from confused wives frustrated and disheartened by the economic and cultural marginalization of their homemaking.

Quietly undermined by the continual erosion of the home economy, directly assaulted by feminist egalitarians, and rendered economically precarious by the disintegration of “the family wage,” the economic gender complementarity of marriage disappeared for millions of couples as millions of wives moved out of the home and into paid employment. Hence, long before homosexuals challenged the male-female sexual complementarity of marriage, the economic complementarity of marriage had already disappeared. In economic terms at least, a growing number of American children had two “fathers” long before advocates of homosexual marriage ever attempted to give children two biologically male parents.

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  • Hey

    You can applaud the changes, you can go with the changes and even benefit from them, or you can sit and cry and lament them, but you will never essentially reverse them. The river always flows just in one direction, whether you like it or not. Marriage is one of the institutions, and like all others, it is changing and will continue to change. The problem with America is that while it once was the champion of progress and positive change, it has not take a backseat, and sometimes looks like it’s paddling against the current.

  • Harold Fickett

    This is one of the strongest pieces of analysis we’ve published here at Catholic Exchange.  Unlike the commentator, “Hey,” I believe that if we understand the several forces redefining marriage long before the advent of homosexual marriage, we can reclaim marriage in its true character.  This will certainly mean more and more Catholic couples choosing to live in a deliberately counter-cultural way, and that’s happening through the comeback of large families and home schooling.  Two of our bloggers, Cari Donaldson and Dwija Borobia, are part of this movement, as they live (and write) in dramatic opposition to marriage-as-a-benefits-package. 

    The author’s emphasis on the economic forces that have torn traditional marriage apart is crucial; it’s also something that even the conservative Catholic press shies away from because of its reluctance to advance any criticism against a free-market system.  Sadly, the practical necessity–or what appears to be the necessity–for  most of having two outside-the-home incomes does more damage, I imagine, to traditional marriage than any other factor, and railing against the behavior this promotes while leaving unaddressed the root cause vitiates the authority of traditional marriage’s defenders.  People think, “How are we ever going to live like that?” Since there are so few good options, they ignore the biblical charge “to be fruitful and multiply” and budget their commitment to the family, as all of life becomes a cost-benefit analysis. 

    Let’s do something really interesting here at Catholic Exchange and think how young Catholic couples and the rest of us can participate in the invention of a new family-friendly economy that will allow traditional marriages to flourish.  We ought to have special editions devoted to ways in which Catholic couples can have a home-centered economy, particularly in non-agrarian settings.  The family farm makes home-centered economies natural, but only so many can go back to the country, albeit I’ve seen this done successfully and in a heroic way, especially around Clear Creek Monastery in northeastern Oklahoma.  In order for Catholics to supply the counter-cultural witness that’s needed (and which they themselves would benefit from), many more non-agrarian options need to be invented and replicated. 

  • Sueshaw17

    This entire article would have made more sense if “homosexuality” was left out. It’s as if  the author is trying to get two points across at the same time and it gets a little confusing for my simple mind. No we do not live in the times of Ozzie and Harriet, things are getting crazy in this world. I am not a homosexual but have many friends who are and are married. Although that lifestyle is not my own, I try with my heart to understand what they must be going through. I do not believe that true homosexuality is a choice. Although I have met many educated, professional people that do. This thinking, in my opinion, immediately removes all intelligence from them. None of us are God, and if God is love, then He loves them as well. It is not our job to try and figure out what God thinks about good loving people. Most of the homosexual people I am in touch with are professional, upstanding citizens. This article makes me feel as if “these people” are worthless souls and are damned to hell. As a christian, I don’t buy it. People pick and choose what they want the Bible to say to make it work for them. It’s sickening. Marriage in itself, I agree, is not what it should be, I think about that fact a lot. People are not willing to make the commitments it takes to keep a marriage together. All these values come from the home. So sad most homes are in a state of chaos. Thanks for listening, Sue.