Here’s What Will Happen if Marriage is Redefined…

Jennifer Morse

by Jennifer Morse on January 18, 2013 · 72 comments

Editor’s Note: The following are the prepared remarks given by Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D. on January 15, 2013 to the Rhode Island legislature during hearings on the proposed redefinition of marriage. It is provided by The Ruth Institute.

Almost two years ago, I came to this place to plead with you not to remove the gender requirement from marriage.[1]  I predicted that children would have three legal parents[2] and that custody disputes would involve three or more adults.[3]  I predicted greater attacks on religious liberty for those who resist your war against the gendered nature of the human body.[4]  I predicted the systematic removal of gendered language from the law. No more husbands and wives, only spouses. No more mother and father. Only Parent 1 and Parent 2.[5]

All of these things have come to pass in other places.

Tonight, I have returned.

You will little note, nor long remember what I say here.   The rich people in our country have decided that we are going to have what you call same sex marriage.[6]  You will do what you have come to do.

So tonight, I have a few more predictions.

Some of you are in this fight for power, some for love.

For those of you who are in it for the power: I predict that even if you do not have enough votes this time, you will keep coming back until you do.

I predict that you will continue to remove any recognition of sex differences from the law.  The very bill you are considering tonight replaces “husbands” and “wives” and leaves only “parties.”   Banning a father daughter dance will seem like child’s play,[7] by the time you and your allies are done using the law to purge every last hint of sex differences from society.

I predict that you will grow more aggressive in attacking the natural bonds between parents and children.  You will continue to blur the distinction between “parent” and “non-parent.”[8]

But some excluded fathers will want a relationship with their children.[9] Some mothers will find sharing their child with another woman to be far more difficult than they expected.[10]  And some children will want to know their missing parent.[11]

No matter. Genderless marriage commits the state to taking sides against the natural parent and in favor of the socially constructed parent.

I predict that you will block any meaningful reform of the IVF Industry.  The IVF industry is guilty of grotesque exploitation of the poor by the rich, including the outsourcing of surrogacy to India.[12] I predict you will turn a blind eye to this and other abuses.

I predict that you will follow Quebec in its attempts to prohibit the belief that heterosexuality is normal.[13]  Wiping out a belief in something that is actually true will certainly open up vast vistas of government involvement in civil society.   Redefining marriage opens the door to increases in government power that could never be achieved any other way.

I do not know if any of these things are your intent or your wish.  But I predict they will be the outcome, the logical result of your marriage policy.

For those of you who are in it for the love, I have a few predictions for you too.

Many of us in the marriage movement are survivors of earlier phases of the Sexual Revolution.  We found that it didn’t work for us, the hook-ups, divorce, single motherhood, marital infidelity, cohabitation, as well as the contraception and abortion that made it all appear to be possible.  Only a few of us were wise enough to see from the beginning that this would end badly. And those who did see it, drew on the wisdom of the ancient Christian churches, churches that take a far longer view of things than most people do.

It would be astonishing if the steps you are contemplating tonight will work any better for you than the earlier stages did for us.

I predict that none of it will make you happy.  Not redefining marriage. Not the attempts to smother sex differences and biological connections. Not the further suppression of churches, religious organizations, and faith-filled private citizens. If normalizing homosexual activity were going to make you happy, it would have done so long ago.  You would not be so desperate today for affirmation from strangers.

And if any of you come to realize that the Sexual Revolution has been one empty promise after another, we will embrace you.  We will welcome you to our ragtag  ranks of  refugees, defectors and displaced persons from the great social civil war of our time.

Perhaps I will be mistaken, and you will never have a moment’s doubt for the rest of your lives.  In that case, we must continue to oppose you, to try to contain the damage we believe you are doing.

Even if we should lose this particular fight on this particular evening, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the airwaves, we shall defend our beliefs, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight in the churches, we shall fight at the ballot box, we shall fight in the schools and in the courts, we shall fight on the web; we shall never surrender.

As for me, I shall sleep soundly tonight, knowing that I have done my duty to God and my country and to future generations. And with that, I wish you all, a good night.


[1] My testimony from February 2011 is available on-line at the Ruth Institute Marriage Library, http://www.marriagelibrary.org/2011/02/dr-morse%E2%80%99s-testimony-to-the-rhode-island-legislature-regarding-same-sex-marriage/.

[2] California passed a bill permitting a child to have three legal parents if in the opinion of the judge, it was in the child’s best interest.  This particular law did not require the consent of any of the parents.  Governor Jerry Brown vetoed this bill, saying, “I am sympathetic to the author’s interest in protecting children. … But I am troubled by the fact that some family law specialists believe the bill’s ambiguities may have unintended consequences. I would like to take more time to consider all of the implications of this change.”

http://blogs.sacbee.com/capitolalertlatest/2012/09/jerry-brown-vetoes-bill-allowing-more-than-two-parents.html  See my analysis of this bill, and the situation that gave rise to it, “Why California’s Three Parent Bill was Inevitable,”  The Public Discourse , September 10, 2012. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/09/6197/For a shorter analysis, see “A Little Girl Named M.C.,” available on-line at: http://www.breakpoint.org/features-columns/articles/entry/12/20383/20

[3] For a Canadian case involving three parents see here: http://www.calgarysun.com/2011/10/19/groundbreaking-ruling-in-gay-custody-case

For a British case involving four parents, see here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2047671/High-Court-judges-blast-gay-parents-fighting-little-sisters.html#ixzz1buTCawCX

[4] For example, an innkeeper in Vermont, http://www.citizenlink.com/2012/08/24/vermont-innkeepers-settle-discrimination-case/ , a minister in Ontario, Canada, http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/ontario-christian-minister-forced-to-conduct-same-sex-marriages-or-get-sack.  For more complete analysis  of the religious liberty implications of this bill, I defer to my learned colleague from the Alliance Defending Freedom, Ms. Kellie Fiedorek.

[5] Washington State’s new marriage bill replaces “husband” and “wife” with generic  “spouses” throughout the law.  http://apps.leg.wa.gov/documents/billdocs/2011-12/Pdf/Bills/Senate%20Bills/6239.pdf

The U. S. State Department attempted to introduce Parent 1 and Parent 2 on US Passports. After a public outcry, the attempt was abandoned.  But the attempt is still significant because it illustrates the momentum for removing gender-specific language from the law. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/07/AR2011010706741.html

[6] To cite just a few examples, in New York, Wall Street Republicans contributed the money necessary to redefine marriage in the legislature.  http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?_r=3&pagewanted=1  In Washington state, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos contributed $2.5 million to pass the referendum redefining marriage.  Contributions of this magnitude made it possible for the proponents of genderless marriage to outspend the advocates of conjugal marriage many times over.

[7]The Cranston,  Rhode Island school district banned a father daughter dance, under pressure from the ACLU, that such a dance would be improper gender discrimination. ” Father-daughter dances banned in R.I. as ‘gender discrimination’” Los Angeles Times,  September 18, 2012, http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-father-daughter-dances-gender-discrimination-20120918,0,2172144.story

[8] Family law radicals are already paving the way for the redefinition of parenthood, to go along with the redefinition of marriage.  One way to blur the distinction between parent and non-parent, and to break down “bionormativity,” is to create and/or expand the concept of “de facto parent,” in which a judge can decide whether someone unrelated to child either through biology or adoption, can nonetheless count as a parent.  “Court upholds woman’s ‘de facto’ parental rights,” Delaware on-line, April 18, 2011, The Delaware statute ”is not specific to same sex couples, but applies to other unmarried partners and stepparents.” http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20110419/ NEWS01/104190347/Court-upholds-woman-s-de-facto-parental-rights?odyssey=mod|newswell|text|Home|s;  State of Minnesota, A05-537, May 10, 2007, In re the Matter of Nancy SooHoo, Respondent, vs Marilyn Johnson. See also,  In re parentage of L.B., a Washington case creating a four part test for definition of de facto parents.

For an academic defense of multiple party parenting by contract, see Associate Professor at Michigan State University College of Law, Melanie B. Jacobs, “Why Just Two? Disaggregating Traditional Parental Rights and Responsibilities to Recognize Multiple Parents,” 9 Journal of Law and Family Studies 309 (2007).  The media are also attempting to normalize the redefinition of parenthood. See this puff piece,  “Johnny has two mommies—and four dads,” in the Boston Globe, October 24, 2010,http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2010/10/24/johnny_has_two_mommies__and_four_dads/

[9] The In re M.C. case arose in part because the biological father came forward to try to care for his daughter after the birth mother went to jail for accessory to attempted murder of her former partner. “Why California’s Three Parent Bill was Inevitable,”  The Public Discourse , September 10, 2012. http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/09/6197/

[10] This is probably a factor in the drama in the background of the in re M.C. case.  It is surely a factor in the celebrated Miller-Jenkins custody dispute.    “FBI arrests Tenn. Pastor in Vt.-VA custody case,” Sign On San Diego, April 22, 2011. http://www.signonsandiego.com/ news/2011/apr/22/fbi-arrests-tenn-pastor-in-vt-va-custody-case/ “Vermont: ruling in Lesbian Custody Case,” New York Times, January 22, 2010, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/23/us/23brfs-RULINGINLESB_BRF.html

[11] See the many blogs and websites started by Donor Conceived Persons, such as http://www.tangledwebs.org.uk/tw/, http://www.anonymousus.org/index.php, http://donorconceived.blogspot.com/

[12] On the outsourcing of surrogacy to poor countries, see the following articles, which vary in their approval of the practice. Forbes considers it just another business. “The Newest Wave in Outsourcing to India: Surrogate Pregnancies,” Forbes, July 23, 2012.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/learnvest/2012/07/23/the-newest-wave-in-outsourcing-to-india-surrogate-pregnancies/

The Center for Bioethics and Culture considers it exploitation. “Biological Eugenic Colonialism,” citing a story from May 2012, http://www.cbc-network.org/2012/05/biological-eugenic-colonialism/

WebMD just reports, “Womb for Rent: Surrogate Mothers in India,” http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/features/womb-rent-surrogate-mothers-india

[13]“The Quebec Policy Against Homophobia,” also pledges to eliminate “heteronormativity,” which is the belief that heterosexuality is normal. http:// www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/ministere/dossiers/homophobie/homophobie-a.htm

  • http://www.facebook.com/KlutzKitTara Tara Saulnier

    then please. I would like to stop paying taxes for your faith. make your churches pay their taxes so I can stop covering their share and pay for my own contraceptives.

    The employer pays for insurance, what that covers is not the employers business. I pay my taxes which goes towards military which I am morally and spiritually against in all forms, but I do not pay for war… I pay my taxes. I have no say where that money goes from there besides writing congressmen. If you can say no to birth control, a witness employer can refuse employees life saving blood transfusions in emergency situations. Your right to religious freedom ends when it infringes on another’s right. Since it is a prescription drug, contraceptive is a medical/health product. Medical needs are covered by health insurance. If you would argue it isn’t, feel free to write your congressman so get it over the counter and not a medical need. Until then, I pay my taxes to cover wars I don’t support, children I don’t have going to school, churches telling people how to vote (but kinda not because God and sin ya), yes I expect the least I can get back is $30 towards my only thing I use my insurance for.

  • http://www.facebook.com/KlutzKitTara Tara Saulnier

    Thank you, I would quote you some equally condescending words about how wrong you are for your faith because it is not like mine… but in the circles I run in, it’s extremely rude to shame people through your beliefs. Yes I know, you’re not… it’s what your God said and he’s the only one true amazing god… I get it, doesn’t make it any less condescending and off-putting. I would categorize it under “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”

    I believe it is better to be open to other’s faiths because you may never know when they will teach you something new about yours. Because I think it would be mean and a waste of my time to sit here thinking you are just wasting your time naked in Christianity and I should totally call you out on your new clothes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/KlutzKitTara Tara Saulnier

    “Actually, we simply ask others to obey the Supreme Ruler – for their own good”

    Yes, that is called forcing your beliefs on someone that’s exactly what I meant.

    Also, I read the christian mythology piece. My religious faith believes marriage including gay marriage has been around since way before Christianity was a thing, so why should your religious belief get to pass a law that violates my religious belief? you need to learn to celebrate YOUR faith with YOURself. Your faith cannot dictate how other people live, only you are responsible to it. If you need more then that, I suggest you consult with your lord about your control issues,

  • Gallibus

    Re: “I believe it is better to be open to other’s faiths because you may never know when they will teach you something new about yours.”
    Reply: Right on!
    Also it is impossible to shame anyone who knows no shame.

  • Gallibus

    God, the Supreme Creator and Almighty Power pre-dates everything and governs everything in great order and beauty – He has power over everything – but you are right – if He allows us to choose Hell, then no-one has the right to guide us to happiness against our will. It is a stupid child that wilfully refuses guidance and one that will inevitably reap the disastrous results of its stubbornness. Alas!

  • Gallibus

    One who spreads disorder is a cancer in society.

  • Gallibus

    Out divorce rate is a result of our disobedience to God and our unhappiness is a measure of our spiritual woundedness and poverty which is evident in our weak ability to follow God’s way of love. It is so hard to follow Jesus’ invitation to be perfect – just as our Heavenly Father is perfect – but that is the reason and mission of life here on earth.

  • standfirm777

    Believe it or not, I can see your point on the taxing of our Church. There are already some of our religious groups that are now refusing any government monies for the purpose of not having to comply with their anti life policies. Problem is………..it won’t make a difference. They will be obliged to comply regardless. If anyone thinks that the entire problem could be alleviated by the Church paying taxes, they’re kidding themselves. And I also agree there are SOME instances of contraception therapy that are indeed medically necessary, but I think there may be ways to get around this, and still pay for people that have a medically necessary reason for taking them, and not for birth control reasons. It shouldn’t be hard to do. That said, it would be wise for the medical community to do some research on different drugs or hormones that may help these people without causing CANCER. According to the AMA itself artificial contraceptive drugs are a CLASS A CARCINOGEN, completely the opposite of what our fearless leader stated in a National Statement in Feb. of 2012 that birth control pills fight cancer. Just the opposite according to ALL the medical data.

  • standfirm777

    It IS a serious offense. If a serious Christian is to look at God’s Law which coincides with NATURAL LAW, it is a logical conclusion that you are going against the law to be complicit in their promotion of any anti life policies. In voting for that candidate, which ever party they belong to, is to be complicit with their policies. If the situation were reversed, and the Democrats were the Party of LIFE, our clergy would be saying the exact same thing they said in 2012……..”you must vote for the candidate that has pro life values, according to the law of God”. The protection of human life is the antitheses of what God demands………..HE IS AFTER ALL, THE CREATOR OF LIFE.

  • Proteios1

    Sounds like you have a caricature of Christians based on the worst of us. You then hold that up as the image of all of us. It’s like any stereotype used to dehumanized others. It’s been used to justify slavery, hatred of groups, be they gay or different colors, ethnicities, etc. So you feel justified in hurting us all unless we behave to your standards. Sad. Because your comments rail against us Christians for behaving in ways that you appear to recommend as a reaction to Christians. It’s not unique to you, it’s all to common. I get told I don’t know anything because Christians deny science. Then I tell them of all the catholic scientists. They say, well that was then. I then say, I’m a scientist…well funded because of my ideas. That usually ends with some rationalization to retain their preconceived notions….you know..like the condemn Christians for. It’s all the same crap really. Idiots complaining about other idiots.

  • http://www.facebook.com/KlutzKitTara Tara Saulnier

    Ok first off, before you talk about anything scientific/medical online do a google search for it just to make sure what you remember isn’t internet rumors. Contraceptives very VERY slightly raise your cancer risk… and it goes back down about ten years after you discontinue use. If you are worried about this risk, I will tell you that on the same list you referred to is “wood dust created in cutting and shaping wood”. Now here’s the past where I PROVE my statement. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/oral-contraceptives
    Anything you’ve read to make this look worse or like the pill is as likely to cause cancer as say smoking a pack a day is just extremest fear-mongering.

    Also, Churches paying taxes will add about $71,000,000,000 a year according to the write offs. Since last number I saw was that Americans spend an estimated $200 mil a year on contraception… looks like religion is taking a MUCH bigger cut of free funds then us women looking for coverage for all our medical needs.

  • http://www.facebook.com/KlutzKitTara Tara Saulnier

    I did not use a Christian stereotype at all, I didn’t even refer to the average Christian,actually. I only addressed the leaders who are in the public eye that I read about, follow, and know from seeing first hand are corrupt. Seems like you’re projecting.

  • http://www.facebook.com/KlutzKitTara Tara Saulnier

    ahhh touche! :P

  • QuoVadisAnima

    The homosexual agenda has already deprived many of their right to free speech and the free practice of their religion. How can you argue for “equal rights” on an issue that has already proven to do exactly the opposite?

  • Gallibus

    Re: ‘but those are usually state laws that ban prostitution and heroin use which are for public safety’
    Reply: Yes; you could equally say they are there to preserve public order. In the same way, as Owner and Creator and Governor of the Universe, Almighty God, has laws that are there to preserve order in His Universe, of which we are a small part: these laws are known as the Ten Commandments – they are not ‘the ten suggestions’. They are Universal Laws that override all others in lower orders of government. To refute them is to oppose the all-powerful God, who, although slow to anger, has been known to overturn Kings, rulers and governments that opposed His plan and caused disorder.

  • Gallibus

    Re: ‘why not deny the title and right of marriage between all people who have had sex before marriage no matter who they are. Isn’t a man and woman who engage in sexual acts prior to marriage committing sin,’
    Reply: A problem is that it is not generally possible to determine whether or not a man has had sexual relations before marriage – frankly, I wish it were possible then women would equally be able to know what they were getting by way of spouse. As it is, only the woman can be ‘inspected’ for virginity (which is a disgusting and outrageous invasion of privacy, in my view) and that has always led to blame and shame only being attributed to women even though it takes two to copulate. In the past, both were stoned – and even today in some countries, but most often the man gets away with it – it should be both or none in my humble opinion.
    Another problem with your argument is that while sinful couples can repent and submit themselves to God’s law concerning marriage, a homosexual couple, by definition, can never do that since their continued sexual activity continues to be in violation of God’s law.

  • Gallibus

    Re: “Your anger that you express hardly comes from a position of love. Remember that Catholicism is a Christian denomination, and Jesus’ teachings go before the pope’s.”

    Reply: Rather than allow a loved one to continue on the path of disorder and self-destruction, love chastises. It is a prevalent deception of satan that there is no chastisement and that disorder is allowed to continue uncorrected in the name of love. That way, satan has you in his grasp preventing repentance and leading you to a fatal fall. Obedience is demanded by God; the original human catastrophe was caused by disobedience (Original Sin). Final unrepentance incurs the final punishment and eternal separation from the all-holy God.

    Secondly, the Catholic Church is fully aware that it has Jesus’ mandate to teach only His teachings – hence the Pope is not permitted to accept popular ideas of right and wrong – unlike the imposter churches. Popular culture regards this as being tyrannical – so be it.

  • Gallibus

    Equally, a roving homosexual is a ticking time-bomb for those around him/her. Just as one keeps toxins out of one’s home to preserve health, so one does not want to have toxic spiritual matter in one’s vicinity or close to our loved ones.The same goes for other serious offenders – that was why jail was invented – to separate the toxic rubbish out of society.

  • Jeff

    Please help me out. What rights does a same-sex couple gain, by being able to marry? I’m from California, and from what I can see, same-sex couples already have the same rights as hetero sexual couples.

  • Joe America

    All the things you predict have already happened. Ever child has 3 parents a mother a father and the state.

    The real problem heterosexual marriage. Damage to it is caused by the states meddling and laws designed to destroy marriage. It has been in trouble for decades, its on a sharp decline in the West. Illegitimacy has been on a continuous rise for decades now.

    Gay marriage does not matter, few people will do that, the numbers are tiny.

    There is a simple way to prove this, ask yourself do you Personally know anyone who is gay and is going to be married, personally this is something I have never seen,

    How many heterosexual marriages are you familiar with Personally? I cant even count. How many heterosexual marriages have been wreaked by the state, you know that meat grinder called family court?

  • William C

    So, when you disagree with the government it is a direct attack on your religious freedom, but if you agree with the government, it isn’t? Not everyone in this country is Christian or Catholic, so the government can’t possibly have rules that please everyone. True Catholics do not recognize any marriage that isn’t performed sacramentally in the church, so Catholics have a different definition of marriage as well.

  • William C

    The same things happened when the government got rid of traditional freedom (slavery) and traditional voting (voting by males of age). People said dogs would be abe to be free and able to vote.