Sunday Brunch

Jane Sloan

Jane Sloan

George, the Lenten Nark

by Jane Sloan on March 27, 2012 · 0 comments

It is the kind of hot Georgia afternoon that makes me wish I were still a Midwesterner.  I have two hours of seventh grade religion to look forward to, and an extra dollar in my pocket, so I swing by the vending machine on the way to afternoon classes.

As the Diet Coke rumbles from the machine I convince myself I am not really using Diet Coke to cope with 12-year-olds.

The bell rings, we pray, and 18 seventh graders pull out their notebooks.

“So yesterday we began learning about confirmation,” is my compelling opening sentence.  I pause, drained by the brilliant opener, and take a swig of Diet Coke.  A big ‘ol, bottle-crunching, cheek-busting swig.

“Hey,” George pipes up from the front row.  “I thought you gave up Diet Coke for Lent.”

So caught.  So dead.

I double over in laughter, caused by some combination of abject embarrassment and the hilarity of George’s quizzical expression. I hold the soda in my mouth, desperately trying not to spit it out.  I turn and put my face in the corner in a violent attempt to compose myself.

At this point, the whole class is giggling.  “What happened?  What did he say?” one girl whispers.

I swallow the illicit soda and face the class.  “George, you’re right.”  I toss the bottle, still a third full, in the trash.  “You got me.  I gave up on my Lenten promise yesterday.  But because you reminded me, I’ll stick to it for the rest of Lent.”

I really want a Diet Coke.  But George’s innocent, raised eyebrows keep me at bay. I am thankful that his young eyes held me accountable.  I wonder if the stodgier apostles ever felt this way about the Beloved Disciple.

And yes, I thought about retrieving the Diet Coke bottle from the trash when George’s class left.  But I didn’t.  I didn’t.