Fisking King David

If David lived today, I have a feeling not a few modern-day Perfecti in the blogosphere would read something like this:

Psalm 51
For the leader. A psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came to him after his affair with Bathsheba.

Oh great! Here it comes. A happy-clappy hymn from our Fearless Leaders, designed to make all of us hold hands, sing a little ditty, and forget the corruption at work in our "big happy family" at the very highest levels! Count me out! I am outraged at what this supposed "apple of God’s eye" has done and no amount of cheery little campfire ditties from the "Psalmist of Israel" is going to make me forget the way he has frittered away his moral authority with gross repeated and pre-meditated sin!

Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.
Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.

This guy commits adultery in broad daylight, deliberately engineers the cold-blooded murder of the cuckolded husband, uses state funds and our troops to do it, and then thinks that just by saying "I apologize" he’s going to get a pass? Sorry, but I need more than mere words before he’ll get my forgiveness.

For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.
Against you alone have I sinned; I have done such evil in your sight That you are just in your sentence, blameless when you condemn.

Again with the Clintonesque lip-biting? And what’s with the "Against you alone have I sinned" bit? Apparently poor sorrowful David doesn’t even think of the body of Uriah the Hittite, lying dead on the field at his orders! ¬†Even though the memory of Uriah’s murder is an eternal insult to our brave fighting men and to the taxpayers who were forced to fund David’s murderous adventures in the boudoir, he says he’s sinned against "God alone". He doesn’t even think of the family he destroyed or the woman he violated with his royal power. No, for David, it’s all about David. So long as he can appease the Big Guy Upstairs (or feel that he has done so) then it doesn’t matter how many of us suckers he fools with his phony piety.

True, I was born guilty, a sinner, even as my mother conceived me.

So much for "taking full responsibility". Now he blames his mother for his sins. The guy has no shame at all. Can anyone here say with a straight face that David didn’t deliberately intend every last detail of what he did when he stole Uriah’s wife, got her pregnant, tried to figure out a way to make it look like Uriah’s kid, and failing that, deliberately ordered his abandonment on the battlefield in order to murder him? But because he’s the great David and not some loser like Saul, some people actually defend this "apology" instead of facing up to what kind of man he really is and admitting what is really in his heart. How’s the Kool-Aid, gang?

Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.

Sure. He "sincerely" apologizes for adultery and murder by blaming his mother and then turns and claims that he’s full of "wisdom", courtesy of God Almighty. The man is full of himself.

Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure; wash me, make me whiter than snow.
Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

The typical esoteric ritualistic trust in religious mumbo-jumbo instead of a really moral life devoted to God. Blather about "hyssop"–used in empty religious rituals aimed at assuaging guilt feelings and appeasing an "angry God"–rather than mature moral behavior is typical for such a self-absorbed adolescent. David seem obsessed with the notion that some ritual will, apart from serious moral reform, magically "cleanse" him while he goes on blaming his mother for his cruel selfishness. And now, to top it off, he whines that a Just God is "crushing his bones" instead of acknowledging that he himself is to blame for his predicament. And we’re supposed to sing this narcissistic twaddle in the liturgy?

Turn away your face from my sins; blot out all my guilt.
A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit.

The guy commits adultery and murder–pre-meditated and in cold blood. He uses our own troops to do it on taxpayer monies, he is still shacking up with Bathsheba, he blames his mother, he sociopathically ignores his sins against everybody but God and now he expects forgiveness and a "clean" heart ? I think I’m gonna puke.

Do not drive me from your presence, nor take from me your holy spirit.
Restore my joy in your salvation; sustain in me a willing spirit.

Yeah. As though God "drove him" from his presence and he didn’t walk away with both eyes open.

I will teach the wicked your ways, that sinners may return to you.

It takes a special kind of narcissism for this murderous pervert to declare himself someone we need teaching our kids Sunday school. That a man this self-involved could become a highly placed official in our community is proof positive that our leaders suffer from severe cranial-rectal inversion when it comes to who they regard as "spiritual leadership"? Imagine the gall of this jerk presuming to call the rest of us "sinners"!

Rescue me from death, God, my saving God, that my tongue may praise your healing power.
Lord, open my lips; my mouth will proclaim your praise.

"Blah, blah, suck up to God and feel sorry for myself, blah blah."

For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept.
My sacrifice, God, is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.

Typical "I feel bad, but not bad enough to do something practical (or costly to me) about my sins" junk. Apparently, murder and adultery are not worth slaughtering a cow and giving the meat to the poor. No, our leaders are so out of touch that they think "I’m sorry" will do the trick.

Make Zion prosper in your good pleasure; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will be pleased with proper sacrifice, burnt offerings and holocausts; then bullocks will be offered on your altar.

Translation: God, make me look good and maybe send some economic prosperity so the stupid subjects will forget what I did and go back to being sheeple!

Well, not me. The mask is off the Davidic regime! Now that I know what he’s really like I will never trust another word from the so-called "House of David". Apologies are cover-ups and corruption is the bottom line. And as for the notion that "God is at work in him"? Ha! Since when has God had anything to do with impenitent adulterers and murderers? But, of course, since our leaders have gone soft on the death penalty this is pretty much what we can expect. In the days before our leaders sold the traditional teaching for a pot of trendy Euro-weenie message, David would have been stoned to death. But as it is, he’ll probably go down in history as "David the Great" and his kid (probably a kid by Bathsheba, given our decrepit moral state) will be called "Solomon the Wise" or something.

Mark Shea

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Mark P. Shea is a Catholic author, blogger, and speaker.

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