Ive been exercising to some of Richard Simmons’ exercise videos.
Let me tell you. I thought I had it all worked out. I’d wait until anyone old enough to laugh at me had gone to school or work for the day, but no-o-o. Were all my problems solved by that little strategy? Not on your life.
At first the toddlers happily plunked themselves on the sofa. I guess they thought we were going to watch a new movie.
Then the action started and they looked agog, then bewildered by my strange movements. What in the world is mom doing?
And then they started throwing obstacles in my path: sofa cushions, toys and the remote. It was as if to say, "Change the channel!" They even attacked my legs and tried to hold me still.
So being the devoted mom that I am, I put them in their room to play with a billion toys so I could do this little thing for myself for thirty minutes. Oh, the protests and the wails! What a terrible mom am I!
But I jiggled on (thats what happens after you have a few kids and don’t exercise) ignoring their pitiful cries and even the phone.
And when I was done, I’d successfully sweat buckets and had the old heart pumping nicely.
The next day I tried again. Immediately, the kids cried out when they saw the little man with the puffy ‘do.’ He was not as motivating to my toddlers as he apparently was to the group exercising with him. My one-year-old quickly turned off the television.
I turned it back on.
"Spob," I was told, which translates to SpongeBob.
"No Spob. Momma needs to exercise."
So the other grabbed the remote and managed to change the channel to The Wiggles. And then THEY started dancing around in front of the television. "Move over, Mom. This is how it’s done!"
Gee, I bet Richard Simmons never thought of his exercise routine as outdated. But, it’s true. Next to The Wiggles, who can really work up a sweat of their own, Richard is an oldie.
So much for the video, Mr. Simmons! Today we’re going to "point our fingers and do the twist…then we’re gonna go up and back down, get back up and turn around…can you point your fingers and do the twist?"
Yes, I can! Apparently, if Momma wants to exercise while the Wiggles play, then she can exercise all she wants.
So now the toddlers and I are in sync. And it’s working into our daily routine pretty well. I’d write more, but right now I have to ‘do the monkey, elephant and tiger,’ right after I dance with hot potatoes, mashed bananas and cold spaghetti.