Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, and Don Feder, president of Jews Against Anti-Christian Defamation, have launched a "Why I Hate Christmas" contest today. Donohue explains as follows:
"On December 6, a Zogby Poll disclosed that 95% of Americans are not offended by being greeted with a ‘Merry Christmas' while shopping. Don Feder and I would like to know more about the 5% who object and have thus launched our ‘Why I Hate Christmas' contest. Contestants must answer the following questions:
1. Explain relationship with father.
2. Explain relationship with mother.
3. State what religion, if any, were you raised in.
4. List all phobias, e.g., fear of God.
5. List all superstitions, e.g., belief in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.
6. State which historical figure is most like you: (a) Hitler, (b) Stalin, (c) Mao, (d) Pol Pot, or (e) Rosie O'Donnell.
7. State last time you hallucinated.
8. State last book you read before crashing.
9. State how many times you've laughed in the past 10 years: (a) once, (b) more than once but not more than thrice, (c) more than thrice but not more than five times, (d) can't recall.
10. List all prior mental disorders.
"Please send us a photo so we can post your picture on our website, along with your response. The winner will receive a free copy of the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. Finally, we will send your statement to Jackie Mason for a free psychological evaluation."