CE Forum : Can Marriage in America be Saved? How?

Welcome back to the Catholic Exchange Forum, and thank you all for your continuing excellent contributions and enthusiasm!

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Once again, the guidelines (which in fact apply to all comments at CE):

-keep it as short and streamlined as possible

-keep it on the subject

-no vulgarity

-be respectful of other people’s human dignity

The question for this week is:

Can marriage in America be saved? If so, how?

!

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  • Steve-O

    By leading by example and prayer. It is my understanding that homosexuals don’t want marriage nearly as much as acceptance of their acts and lifestyle.

  • BillinJax

    Marriage is considered to be the pathway to family. Family denotes the presence of children. Children must be educated. Proper education can lead to right understanding.

    Public education in America is run by the secular progressives who have brought us to the current level of demise.

    Put your very lives on the line and demand school choice with adequate vouchers and private (Christian) schools where our moral values are taught and lived will flourish.

  • That Was Then

    So long as our laws are no-fault divorce, marriage is doomed. Heterosexuals have led the way to the devaluation of marriage, not the gay population.

  • Dyoung

    I guess todays gospel (Matthew 13:24-30) is God’s response to yesterdays decisions.

  • Ken

    Well said. Enogh said

  • devo56

    Marriage is already saved, it is instituted by God, we have allowed it to be dishonored. We dishonor it with no-fault divorce. Look what disasters this has brought on. Christian couples must live faithful, sacrificial marriages and re-evangelize the culture with the beautiful results. The existing culture must want the beauty that love produces in marriage. The Roman society of the first century was seduced by the love and sacrifice of the early Christian martyrs, now it is our turn. The Christian family is one of the most beautiful models ever produced for man and woman to produce and care for children: “And Joshua said unto all the people [of Israel], … choose you this day whom ye will serve; … but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:2, 15).

  • ML

    My fear is vouchers allow government dollars in Christian/Catholic schools. When Government dollars enter schools government dictates curriculum.

  • Dyoung

    Actually Matthew 13:24-30 is the gospel for July 27 not June 27. Ironic that when this is heavy on my mind, I made that mistake. I guess God had something to say to me today about this.

    The Gospel for June 27 is actually Matthew 7:21-29. Sorry for the mistake.

  • Denise Smith

    Marriage can and is saved everyday by those who live their vows. We must, as in all things, begin with the basics. The slow descent began in the 60′s when suddenly ‘living together’ became ‘acceptable’. Before long, even those of us in the church who had children who decided to live together turned a blind eye not challenging them on their position because they wanted them to come to Christmas! It starts at home. It continues with continually standing for what Christ and His Church teaches on sexuality. They may still decide as the culture directs, but we must never acquiesce to this lifestyle. Love them through it…. Their choice AND it’s consequences are up to them. If living together was still shunned in this society….the rest of this culture of free sex would be moot.

  • QuoVadisAnima

    Actually, today’s Gospel seems applicable as well, given how many self-professed Christians have enabled us to reach this point. :-(

  • Betty Borrough

    The law does not define marriage, for us. We need to divorce ourselves from man’s ‘marriage’ and live within God’s Marriage. Living these loving marriages, even without the legal support of the state, will change hearts and minds.

  • Pro_aris_et_focis

    Taking it a step further – Let’s make a deal: we’ll give up our quest for same-sex marriage if you give up your already-accomplished contraceptive marriage. Then we’ll ALL be working from the same, original definition of marriage that is both unitive and procreative (or free, faithful, total and fruitful if you prefer).

  • haubrock

    A marriage is defined as one man and one woman. When one man and one woman devote themselves to God and to love, to make that decision to love one another, nothing can tear it asunder. Not the fairy book love of emotion and sexual gratification that the adulterers and the sodomites refer to but the love of truth, mercy, justice, sacrifice, loyalty, and liberty.

    The adulterers and the sodomites can call what they have whatever they want. We know it will never be marriage as the Church defines it. It can’t be a holy marriage.

    A man and a woman that are committed to God and put Him first and are committed to their marriage and to their family has a divorce rate of less than 5%.

    As society gets more and more hostile to Christians and religion the nominal Catholics will drop away. Thus separating the goats from the sheep.

    The neo-pagan culture in which we live has been redefining marriage for decades and they have just redefined it again.

    Can marriage be saved? It was never in danger by us Catholics that take seriously the idea that our marriages are sacraments with a covenant promise.

    And remember we are not in control anyway.

    Here are some lyrics to the song “Cry the Gospel” by Catholic singer/songwriter Tom Booth that sum up my reaction to the SCOTUS decision.

    Proclaiming Christ today! Be holy. The Lord be glorified! Be holy, cry the gospel with your life!
    Standing at the gateway of our faith, on the rock of Peter and the saints, with the Holy Spirit showing us the way to be holy, and cry the gospel, cry the gospel with your life!

    Amen!

  • Suzi

    Yes, prayer, fasting, etc. are needed. But how about our shepherds leading the sheep? How about our bishops and priests catechizing from the pulpit every week about the issues at stake–redefining marriage, contraceptive marriages, loss of religious freedom, and while they’re at it, throw in some basic Catholic theology. We have, in large part, a secularized Catholic laity who are mostly ignorant of the beauties and truth of our faith. If we don’t know our faith and the Church’s teachings, how are we supposed to defend them? Giving a defense of male-female marriage is not easy, especially to a hostile audience. Catholic laity need to be given the tools to do this, either through catechesis from the pulpit, pamphlets distributed by the church, and/or classes or lectures. This has to be a unified effort across the US by all the bishops to lead the faithful and teach them, and stand up to the false propaganda that is all around us. But it’s not happening. In my parish in CO, not one word was said by our priest about the Fortnight for Freedom. Yes, there was an insert in the bulletin about it a few weeks back, but how many people is that reaching? Look at the demonstrations in the defense of marriage that have been going on in France—why isn’t that happening here? As I read one priest say, we Catholics, and other Christians, have been like the sleeping Apostles in the Garden of Gethsemane, while the homosexual movement has been like Judas, actively planning and plotting and working to undermine morality and male-female marriage.

  • John Smith

    We have some outstanding bishops who do take a stand. We need to encourage others to follow their lead and support those who have been bold in their teaching.

  • John

    Masha Geesen, activist for LGBT community said: Gay marriage is a lie; fighting for gay marriage generally involves lying about what we’re going to do with marriage when we get there. She has 3 children and 5 parents and talks about redefining the traditional family—. Said that we “shouldn’t choose two of those parents and make them a sanctioned couple.”
    We can feel sorry for them, love them but how can we support their idea of wanting to destroy marriage as we know it. Or should we just drink cool aid?
    Google her name and read it all.

  • James Stagg

    Agreed, Denise.

    One of the things we can do to save marriage as a Sacrament, is to preach and teach about it, as if it were a higher calling….something not too obvious in today’s American Church, and definitely missing from American “culture”, as well..

    Make the Sacrament something special….starting with meaningful preparation and no “exceptions” to the rule. With mandatory separation of cohabiting couples, intensive (FOCCUS, Sponsor Couple) preparation, intensive education (Church Law), and post-Sacrament parish and diocese support, a Catholic marriage could once again become a shining goal, rather than an exception. That requires discipline….among the clergy as well as the participants and affected families and friends. That seems missing today.

    An additional step, suggested elsewhere, has much merit. Remove the need for a marriage license from the county or state. That will bring the attention of the “political class” which attempts to burden the Church more than necessary. The necessary record-keeping is already duplicated by parish records (just like Baptisms and Confirmations), and the tax advantages may be handled under various states’ common-law marriage conditions.

    But we do need leadership. We need a Church document that outlines a course of action and actual commitments, both FROM the Church and from the couple. We may need a type of educational process similar to good RCIA programs, where there can be a continuing group support system.

    We have all the necessary tools; who will draw the plans and form the “work” committees?

  • BillinJax

    ML
    It is those fears which have frozen Christians into backing off any challenge of the progressives to secularize our society. We have to demand, as the pro-abortion and gay activists do, that we have our cake and eat it to all in the name of being discriminated against if the government doesn’t give us what we feel we deserve. It works for them and we just set back and such our thumbs. Enough is enough.

  • Guest

    no

  • Cee Cee

    However, those fears are well-founded. Please google “Ontario Catholic school censorship.” Ontario Catholic schools can’t teach that abortion is wrong, they’ve been forced to allow gay clubs and to conform to the Ontario Human Rights Code that supporting heterosexuality is hate talk, etc. Because they accept public money, they are Catholic in name only.

  • BillinJax
  • Joseph Posavac

    By gaining a foothold in pop culture. That is exactly how gay “marriage” became so widely accepted, with TV shows like Will And Grace, and Friends. Meet them on their own home field.

  • Matt

    Cease cooperating with government marriage; marry only in the Church. Do not recognize government marriages as anything.

  • pnyikos

    The obvious problem with your suggestion is that the family-friendly tax benefits which make it easier for mothers to raise children full time (as in “married, filing jointly”) will no longer be available to those who do not contract civil marriages.

    Most European countries already have separate ceremonies for matrimony and civil marriage. As distasteful as this seems to us, it may be inevitable here in America if same-sex marriage is recognized by every state in the USA. Otherwise every marriage in the Church is part of a basically flawed institution.

  • pnyikos

    One thing the Church could do right now is to add a new way one can excommunicate oneself automatically (latae sentiae): contract a same-sex marriage. Whether this is a prudent thing to do, I leave to those better versed in canon law than myself.

  • Micha_Elyi

    Instead of formal catechism of our children ending at the sacrament of confirmation, it should continue on with instruction about the sacraments of vocation and how ones vocation is rightly lived.

  • Micha_Elyi

    Q. Can marriage in America be saved? If so, how?

    A. No. America’s gonna burn.

  • James Stagg

    That is a very worthy goal, but difficult to implement without some change……in heart…..in actual practice…..from the Church magisterium, the pastors of the parishes, the parents, and, mostly, from those who think they have “graduated” from further study after their Confirmation.

    Massive job.

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