I recently had the pleasure of attending the premiere performance of “Present Company Excluded,” a play written by Doug Foresta. Based on the life of Herbert Roth, it tells of a young Jewish boy living in Roth, Germany in the years leading up to World War II.  As Roth prepares for his Bar Mitzvah, he questions everything about God. Why doesn’t God talk to him the way he talked to Abraham? Why did God allow his mother to die? Why is God allowing his father’s business to fail and his friends to ignore him simply because they are Jewish?

Towards the end of the play, his step-mother, who Roth wants nothing to do with, is encouraging him to come with her to apply for a visa to leave Germany and go to America. His father has already failed in this task and Roth sees no point to trying again. He has resigned himself to his fate and feels that God is keeping them in Germany. His step-mother tells him that they have to keep trying, because “If you quit, you can’t blame God.”

There is a great deal of truth to that statement. Indeed, it can be very difficult to discern what God wants from us in life. There are certainly times when it seems every door is being slammed against us. It seems that there is no point in continuing and that God must want us to take a different path. Sometimes, He does.

But if that is the case, then the window will open. Other opportunities and circumstances will come our way. If we continue to pray, however, and trust that God is with us, and no other paths open up to us, then we have no reason to quit the road we are on. Yes, it may seem impossibly hard and the outcome uncertain, but we need to keep trying. We need to keep getting up every morning and do our best and leave the rest to God.

God is the one ultimately in charge. I love the statement by Blessed Mother Teresa, “God doesn’t call us to be successful, only faithful.” Our success or failure is determined only by God. He has His reasons for having us on the road we are on. The roadblocks, too, are there for a reason. Although, often it is only in looking back that we can appreciate them. As Roth stated in the play, his mother dying led to his hated step-mother joining the family. She would be the person who would ultimately save all of their lives. God does work in mysterious ways.

Yes, circumstances are hard. But, if we quit, we need to own it. If we stop trying, we can’t blame God and say that it is His fault that things didn’t work out.

Hendey, the founder of CatholicMom.com, wrote this book as the follow-up to her bestselling The Handbook for Catholic Moms. In that book, she focused on the “importance of nurturing ourselves as moms in four components of our lives: heart, mind, body, and soul.” In this resource, she has profiled 52 saints and highlighted which of those four components they speak to in our lives. This book can be used on a week by week basis with the focus being on one saint per week, or one may simply wish to focus on a saint that speaks to whatever area of one’s life is in need of a little extra help at the moment.

For each saint, Hendey offers a variety of topics: a brief biographical sketch, reflections on lessons learned from the saint, popular traditions associated with him or her, a quote from the saint, a week’s worth of Scripture verses that are associated with the spirit of that holy person, activities to do either alone or with your children, a prayer asking for the saint’s intercession, and questions to ponder throughout the week. Of course, one is under no obligation to do or reflect on all of that information, but it is good to have options. Each person reading this book will find something that appeals to her and her preferred way of learning and praying.

The variety of saints that Hendey profiles should also be noted. Beginning with our Blessed Mother, “the first and best Catholic mom,” she includes many of the well-known saints you may already know and love, such as Teresa of Avila, Sebastian, Maria Goretti, Patrick, Martha of Bethany, John Paul II, and Mother Teresa of Calcutta. But, she does seem to have made a concerted effort to focus on saints that are less well-known. It is possible that readers may find some new friends in the communion saints as they read and reflect on individuals such as Josephine Bakhita, Isidore of Seville, Louis and Marie-Azelie Martin, Chiara “Luce” Badano, and André Bessette.

In A Book of Saints for Catholic Moms, Lisa Hendey has compiled and created a very useful and inspirational book. It can be used alone, with your family, or as part of a Catholic women’s book club. No matter how it is used, your life will be enriched as a result.

It was one of those simple moments that are so easy to miss. I know that there were things I would have rather been doing. “Blowing bubbles” certainly wasn’t on my to-do list for today. And yet, I took the time to do it because a child wanted to and was richly rewarded.

Life is so busy today. It seems like there is always something to be done. Technology has made our lives easier but, as a result of those same innovations, our lives move at a much quicker pace. We are more productive than we have ever been, but the technology that was supposed to make our lives easier was also intended to give us more time. Time to do what? Enjoy the simple pleasures of life – spend time with our families and friends, go for a walk, work in the garden, enjoy a hobby, appreciate the gifts of God’s creation, etc.

Unfortunately, that is often not the case. Instead, we frequently use the “extra” time that technology saves us to interact with more technology. We surf the net, or watch television, or spend more time working just because we can and because there is always one more thing to be done. We frequently spend more time interacting with screens than we do interacting with real people or the world outside our front door.

I am not anti-technology – not at all. I’m blessed to be able to work from home because of it. I love that I can find the answer to almost any question my children might have when we are homeschooling with a few keystrokes. I enjoy connecting with my friends and work colleagues via social networks. Technology has opened up a world of possibility that simply didn’t exist a few years ago.

But, there needs to be a balance. We need to remember what is important and what is lasting in this world. Technology is a tool, but it is supposed to work for us, not the other way around. We need to unplug and take the time to appreciate the simple things, to play with a child, to smell a flower, to thank God for a beautiful sunset, or to marvel at dancing bubbles. The world is full of beauty – much of it fleeting. Children grow quickly, flowers bloom for only a brief period of time, sunrises and sunsets last mere moments. Our chances to value them are just as fleeting. We need to make a concerted effort to embrace at least some of those chances.

It was not that this individual thought that the pro-life movement was stupid . No, this person is staunchly pro-life. Rather, it was the idea that I thought that my giving up something would in any way help the cause.

At first, I was deeply offended. As I thought more about it, however, I realized that most people probably share my friend’s opinion and it was worth giving some time (and a column!) to. Do our sacrifices actually matter or I am simply denying myself needlessly? If they do matter, how does it work?

Obviously, this kind of sacrifice is different than the Lenten version, which is done in a spirit of mortification and penance – to acknowledge and make reparation for one’s own sinfulness and attachment to worldly goods and to focus more on God and prayer. This type of sacrifice isn’t being offered up for oneself, but rather for another.

The answer lies in the Catholic belief in the Communion of Saints. We profess this every week when we say the Nicene Creed at Mass: “We believe in the Communion of Saints,” but what does that actually mean? It means that all of us – those in heaven, those in purgatory, and those of us struggling here on earth are all interconnected.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states the following:

The Christian who seeks to purify himself of his sin and to become holy with the help of God’s grace is not alone. “The life of each of God’s children is joined in Christ and through Christ in a wonderful way to the life of all the other Christian brethren in the supernatural unity of the Mystical Body of Christ, as in a single mystical person.”

In the communion of saints, “a perennial link of charity exists between the faithful who have already reached their heavenly home, those who are expiating their sins in purgatory and those who are still pilgrims on earth. Between them there is, too, an abundant exchange of all good things.” In this wonderful exchange, the holiness of one profits others, well beyond the harm that the sin of one could cause others. Thus recourse to the communion of saints lets the contrite sinner be more promptly and efficaciously purified of the punishments for sin. (1474-1475)

Therefore, the good acts of one can indeed help someone else. Pope Benedict XVI emphasized this idea in his Lenten message for 2009. He stated that “by freely embracing an act of self-denial for the sake of another, we make a statement that our brother or sister in need is not a stranger.”  In the case of “Forty Days for Life,” those participating are offering sacrifices and prayers to help unborn children and their mothers, all of whom are most certainly part of the Communion of Saints.

A belief in the value of sacrifice to help another person takes faith. Like many other situations, we may never see the fruit of our actions. People may indeed think that we are being dumb and denying ourselves needlessly. We trust in God and in his mercy and humbly offer our small gifts of self-denial. In the end, God’s opinion is the only one that truly matters.

I’m embarrassed to admit how little I actually know about Judaism, but I’m always interested in learning more. An article in The Springfield Republican about Rosh Hashanah by Rabbi Max Davis set me on a mission to find out more about the Holy Day of the Jewish New Year.
The creation of this Holy Day by the Lord is recorded in the book of Leviticus. Rosh Hashanah literally means “Head of the Year” and will be celebrated this year the evening of September 28th through the evening of September 30th. The Jewish people are beginning the year 5772 on their calendar.

Rosh Hashanah is known by a few other names. It is referred to as Yom Ha-Zikkaron (the day of remembrance) or Yom Teruah (the day of the sounding of the shofar). It is also known as Yom HaDin which translates as “Judgment Day.” As Rabbi Davis states, “It is considered a judgment day of sorts, the days upon which God scrutinizes our deeds of the previous year and notes whether or not we have lived up to our potential.”

One of those areas of living up to our potential is in the realm of our personal relationships. Rabbi Davis continues, “Rosh Hashanah celebrates the fact that it is never too late to attempt to repair our friendships, even if they are stale or sour. Rosh Hashanah bids us to seek forgiveness from the Almighty as well as from fellow mortals – and be willing to grant forgiveness too whenever possible. We are urged to mend our fractured relationships through prayer, dialogue and most importantly, through pushing ourselves to look in the mirror and admit fault when we see it.”

One of the customs that is part of Rosh Hashanah is Tashlikh (“casting off”). According to Judaism 101, “We walk to flowing water, such as a creek or river, on the afternoon of the first day and empty our pockets into the river, symbolically casting off our sins. Small pieces of bread are commonly put in the pocket to cast off.”

We Catholics have the wonderful gift of the Sacrament of Confession for casting off our sins, but we can always use the reminder to repair our human relationships. It is a sad fact of life, but we all hurt, and are hurt by, those we care about. We let important relationships fade because of these hurts – it sometimes seems easier to walk away then deal with the messiness of human life. We hate to have to admit we were wrong.

“I’m sorry” can be the hardest words to say. “I forgive you” falls into that category as well. Yet, those two statements, provided that the meaning behind them is genuine, can go a long way in healing our wounded relationships.

Rosh Hashanah is a Jewish Holy Day, but we can all take a lesson from it. What relationships do we need to heal? What apologies do we need to offer? What forgiveness do we need to extend? This is the time to begin anew.

Have you moved any mulberry trees lately? If you have, I’d be willing to bet that it involved a great deal of back-breaking labor and some heavy machinery. As I heard this Gospel, I thought, “Wow! If I had enough faith, I could clean my house with a lot less effort.” Obviously, that isn’t the case.

What, then, is Jesus trying to tell his Apostles and us in this Gospel?  Jesus liked to use exaggeration to get his listeners attention. This is definitely one of those cases. So, despite the fact that we are unlikely to move any trees or clean our houses simply by believing that it can be so, the message is that our faith can still do amazing things.

Faith is what leads us to prayer. We believe that a higher power is in control. We know that we don’t have to do it all on our own. Honestly, I can’t even imagine trying to get through life that way. We have a God who loves us and is looking out for our best interests. We can talk to Him and ask for help. We can let Him lead us where He wants us to go.

Having that faith does not mean that life will be easy, however. I cringe whenever I hear someone preaching the (false) Gospel of prosperity with its message, “Believe in God and you will have success in this world.” Jesus never promised us success in this world. He never said that we wouldn’t suffer and would never get sick. In fact, he promised the exact opposite. He told us that following him meant picking up our cross, but he guaranteed that it would all be worth it in the end.

We all have metaphorical mulberry trees in our lives, the problems that have deep roots and simply won’t go away. Our faith allows us to believe that those problems will somehow be resolved and the tree will move. Maybe that tree is even there for a reason we can’t fully understand. Sure, it blocks our view and seems insurmountable. We wish it wasn’t there, but our faith is what keeps us going, despite the big obstacle in the way. Plus, we do know and trust that miracles do happen. Prayers do get answered (sometimes even in the way we hoped for!). Sometimes, those trees do get moved in amazing ways. Other times, they move slowly with lots of heavy labor. Jesus didn’t give a timetable for those trees moving into the sea. But, with faith and trust, they do eventually move.

What are the trees that need moving in your life? Do you have enough faith to turn them over to God? Are you able to trust that He knows what He is doing?

Truthfully, most of the things on my to-do lists are mundane. Things like make a doctor’s appointment, take the car in for service, renew a prescription, do the laundry, and bag the trash. I keep a separate work-related one so that when I take out my computer, I know what I need to focus on. Thankfully, I’m no longer in the sleep-deprived haze of early motherhood when I actually had to write “start the dishwasher” on my to-do list or else it wouldn’t get done. Still, my memory is not good and I have too many things to juggle. Without the lists, way too many things would simply drift away, never to be thought of again.

What do to-do lists have to do with setting goals? To-do lists are made up of small doable tasks. They are action items. Do the thing and you get to scratch it off the list. It may go back on the list tomorrow, but for this day the mission has been accomplished.

When people make goals (myself included), it is easy to think big. This is good. It is wonderful to dream. This is where many people get stuck. They can see where they want to be and they can see where they are now. What they don’t know is how to get there. It’s easy to get discouraged – to look at the dream and to throw in the towel. It is so far away. How could I ever get there? What’s the point? At these moments, it is important to note that the road from point A to point B is not one giant step. It is made up of smaller steps, actions that can be placed on a to-do list and accomplished one day at a time.

For example, my Bible study friends and I were all talking about how we would like to rid our homes of clutter. This is a big job. One look around my house (or my friends’ houses) and it would be easy to give up. However, we have started a plan. One of my friends sends out a Facebook message to each of us with our task for the day. These tasks are supposed to take about fifteen minutes a day. That’s doable. It’s currently an item on my actual to-do list – “Clean 15 minutes.” When it is done for that day, it is crossed off. I feel like I have accomplished my goal for the day and my house is slowly getting cleaner. Will my house ever be entirely clutter-free? Probably not, but I will be a lot closer than if I had done nothing.

This process can be applied to almost everything – even our spiritual lives. In this case, the goal is heaven. That’s a big goal. We can take a look at our lives and easily get discouraged. However, we don’t need to look at the rest of our lives in one fell swoop. We only need to worry about today. What are some things we can add to our daily to-do list to help us make spiritual progress? Have you always wanted to read the Bible, but can never seem to squeeze it in? Perhaps you could put “read Bible for 5 minutes” on your to-do list. Everyone has five minutes. Start small. You can always add to it.

Maybe you have always wanted to say the rosary, but never seem to get to it. Start with one decade. Go ahead – put “say one decade of the rosary” on your to-do list. Perhaps you would like to do more to help the poor? On the to-do list could be “pick out 5 food items to donate to a local food pantry” or “Take three items out of closet that no longer fit and donate them.” These are small things, yes. They won’t change the world, but they will be a start. As one becomes accustomed to doing these things regularly, it will be easier to add other things on. You will find you have more time for prayer and spiritual reading. You will find more ways to help the poor. Make small goals that lead to bigger ones. Start walking the road. If you miss a day, start again the next. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Saying that we are sorry when we have wronged someone is important. It is one of those things parents tell children to do from their earliest ages. By way of example, one toddler smacks another over the head with their toy of choice. In most cases, the toy is taken away or given to the other child, and then the offending child is then instructed to say “I’m sorry.” Is the child actually sorry? Probably not. Feeling true contrition is something that comes with time. Soon enough, however, the child will experience it and will know what to do when he or she has hurt someone else. It is an important life lesson.

As adults, we say that we are sorry often. I said it myself a few minutes ago when I accidentally stepped on my dog’s tail. I hadn’t realized that she had positioned herself under my legs until I moved my foot. We brush up against someone in the supermarket. We say we are sorry. We realize that we interrupted someone. We say we are sorry. These are the times when it is easy to say that we are sorry. We say it. The other person acknowledges it, and life moves on.

There are times, though, when it is much harder to say that we are sorry – the times when we have intentionally wronged someone and must begin the process of reconciliation. Those are also the times when we must make amends. We must try to do something to make up for the hurt we have caused. This is the much harder task. Sometimes it is not even possible. Still, we must make the effort.

In Richard Paul Evan’s story “The Christmas List,” James Kier is a modern day Scrooge. The man has ruined several lives through his selfishness and business dealings. After his obituary is published erroneously, he gets to read the online comments – most of which are anything but good. People are happy he is dead and Kier has the opportunity to face the reality of his life. He decides to do something about his legacy, and tries to make amends with the people he has hurt. He doesn’t think it will be easy, but he has no idea how truly hard it will be. The first person he reaches out to won’t even let him get a word in. Instead, he breaks Kier’s nose and sticks his dogs on him.

In time, he is able to make some things right. For some people, however, it is simply too late. Witness the response of an older woman whom he had caused great financial loss. She does forgive him. In fact, she states that she forgave him long before. Unfortunately, paying back the monetary damages will do little good. “So you see, Mr. Kier, you can’t make amends. You can’t give me back my land. You can’t give me back my health. You can’t give me back my husband and you can’t give me back my dreams. You certainly can’t give me back my innocence.” Those truthful words cause him more pain than his broken nose. In the end, he decides to use the money he owed her to establish a scholarship in her name.

Saying we are sorry is important. Realizing that our wrongdoing has consequences for others is even more important. When we have caused someone harm, we must do what we can to make it right. It may not always be possible, but we need to make our best effort.

Most of us have been blessed with a few good teachers in our academic careers. Perhaps there was one who had a particular influence on you, who brought something out in you that you hadn’t known existed, or took the time to offer some extra help which made all the difference in understanding a subject. Teachers in schools have one of the hardest jobs on earth and are not valued nearly as much as they should be.

But it is important to remember that no matter how incredible the teachers are in school, parents are their children’s first and primary teachers. I look back on my own life and know that to be the case. I was blessed with an excellent Catholic school education with many great and memorable teachers. Yet, it is my parents who shaped me into who I am. From my mother, I learned my faith. Prayer and her relationship with God was and is her priority. I am eternally grateful that she passed that gift along to me. From my father, I learned the value of hard work and persistence. He was also always happy to play a game with me. Those are lessons I have always held on to – work hard and play hard and do all you do with purpose.

Now that I am on the other side of the parenting fence, I realize what a huge and awesome blessing and responsibility it is to teach one’s children. Our children look to us for so much in life, and what we do matters more than what we say. They watch how we spend our time, how we use our money, how we treat others, and how we care for them. In my own life, I have taken the role of parent as teacher one step further in that I homeschool my children. It wasn’t a role I had planned on, but one that God called me to. We start our third year this week. It has been, and will no doubt continue to be, a challenging and rewarding journey.

People have varying reactions when they hear I homeschool: Are you crazy? I could never do that! I would love to do that, but I would never have the patience. You must be a saint! Truly, it isn’t as hard as people think, and I would encourage anyone who wants to do it to try it. But every parent, regardless of whether they take on full responsibility for their children’s academic careers, is a homeschooling parent. Every parent who sings the ABC’s, or helps her child with her homework, or teaches them to ride a bike or tie their shoes or to cook or do laundry is educating them. Especially in matters of faith, a parent’s example is of the utmost importance. Every parent who takes his child to Church or says prayers with them or shows them the value of charity is educating his child.

The lessons learned at home, for good or bad, are the ones that stick. Make them matter. Your children will appreciate it someday.

Brothers and sisters, You have forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as children: ‘My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord or lose heart when reproved by him; for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines; he scourges every son he acknowledges.’ Endure your trials as ‘discipline’; God treats you as sons. For what ‘son’ is there whom his father does not discipline?” (Hebrews 12:5-7).

We don’t like to think of God as disciplining us. The image of God that is most popular today is one of love, but not a parental love. Rather, it is more of a friendship sort of love. God will stick with you no matter what. God will walk with you and have your back and make sure that nothing bad happens to you. God will look the other way when you sin. In the long run, it won’t matter. God will always be there.

It is definitely true that God is always with us. He doesn’t abandon us. We are the ones that turn away from him when we sin. However, as this passage tells us, God’s love is not merely that of friend. It is parental, and as all parents can attest to, this involves not always being your child’s favorite person. It means that sometimes (most of the time) you have to be the one who lays down the law and makes sure it is followed. It means caring more about how your children are developing as moral, socially-responsible people than whether or not they like you at the moment. It means taking away privileges and enforcing time-outs (later known as groundings.) It means taking away car keys and making curfews, and saying “No, you cannot do that” and holding your ground even when you are told repeatedly, “But Mom, everyone else is doing it.” It means teaching hard lessons and sometimes inflicting punishments that hurt you every bit as much (if not more) than they hurt your child. It means watching your child cry and knowing it is for his own good even as it breaks your heart. And we are only human parents with human parental love! Imagine what this must be like for God.

God doesn’t want to punish us any more than we want to punish our children. He doesn’t do it to be mean or to exert His incredible power. But, sometimes, we force His hand. We make some bad choices and He lets us suffer the consequences of our actions. He wants us to learn a lesson and correct our lives for the benefit of our eternal souls. Sometimes, we can be quite stubborn and it takes a great deal of correction for us to get the message. But, it is always for our eternal good.

God does love us with an everlasting love. He doesn’t want us to suffer. Our suffering is a result of sin, both the general sin in the world, and our own personal sin. Like the parent who must discipline as part of bringing up a child, God has our best interests at heart. He wants us to learn and make progress on our spiritual journey. When we are being disciplined by God, it is a sign of His love. It means He hasn’t given up on us. For that, we should be incredibly thankful.