“Have you been saved?” Maybe you have been asked that by one of our Protestant brothers or sisters. If our Blessed Mother had been asked, she could have given the loudest ”Yes!” the world had ever heard. Her personal salvation from the stain of Original Sin is celebrated today. Mary praised God’s salvation in her Magnificat and invited us to join her: “My spirit rejoices in God my Savior… henceforth all generations will call me blessed. (Lk. 1:47-48) As we all know, there are two ways to be saved from disease: once it has been contracted, a person can receive treatment, or a person can be prevented from contracting the disease in the first place! The first option is how God saves us, and the second, the way He chose to save our Blessed Mother. In both cases, the Father’s sanctifying grace isn’t given because of anything we have done, but because of God’s unmerited Love, and in response to the actions of Jesus. Mary’s salvation, too, is due to her Son – the effect of the Cross working backward in time. Mary’s Immaculate Conception can even be glimpsed in Gabriel’s greeting, when he called Mary ”Full of Grace,” Kecharitomene in Greek (Lk. 1:28). The term refers to a completed action – Mary has been, and remains, filled with God’s grace, His Life. As a perfect infilling, it occurred simultaneously with her conception.

Exercise: By the physical and spiritual exercises you are engaged in, the Lord saves you in both ways. Firstly, through personal and liturgical prayer, through exercise and diet, He is repairing the damaging effects of original and personal sin. Secondly, He is using these same exercises to build virtue and shield us from even larger tragedies (Jn. 5:14); each of us already shares some portion of Jesus’ Cross, no need to go fashioning additional ones! Today, express your heartfelt thanks to the Lord for the work of salvation He accomplished in Mary, and is completing right now in you. And there is no greater way to give thanks than by participating in the Eucharist. (Eucharistein is Greek for “thanksgiving.”) Give thanks with your whole being – thinking, singing, standing, sitting, kneeling, speaking aloud; keeping silence. Ask the Holy Spirit to let you praise Jesus and the Father with the same joy Mary had while praying her Magnificat (Lk. 1:46-55).

Editor’s Note: The above excerpt is reprinted, with permission, from the Kevin Vost, Peggy Bowes, Shane Kapler devotional Tending the Temple: 365 Days of Physical and Spiritual Devotions.

I find Asceticism fascinating. It was almost as if their restlessness to know God was so overwhelming that it was painful to live a secular existence.

I am sure that some people may judge that the Ascetics were wrong to abandon the everyday world which God created; but I would suggest that the seeking that drew them to the desert was actually placed upon their heart by God. I  would even go so far as to say that God knew that people such and you and I would always be in need of the direction that could come from someone who was able to separate him or herself from the material world. After all, it makes sense that in the absence of all else, an Ascetic’s clarity of seeing things would certainly be different than that of a person living a more secular existence.

In many ways, those Ascetics were the first spiritual directors.

Thousands of years later, those of us who seek spiritual direction have it much easier: no desert experience required (at least not physically).

Indeed, times have changed and the ways in which we seek, find, and experience spiritual direction has changed as well; but the need for it has remained the same.

So what is spiritual direction?

I’ve asked Mary Schulte, a certified spiritual director here in the beautiful state of Michigan, to help answer some basic questions about spiritual direction. My hope is that Mary’s answers will help anyone interested in pursuing spiritual direction get started.

First let me share a bit of Mary’s biography.  Mary is commissioned by Manresa and Creighton University. She is certified in Spiritual Direction and Retreat Direction from Creighton University. Mary also holds a Masters Degree in Spirituality. At the heart of Mary’s own ministry is music. She is a gifted singer whose latest CD is titled Into the Heart of Jesus is truly transforming—I bought 20 copies for friends and family. Mary’s website is http://schultesong.blogspot.com/ and she can be contacted at mlstrinity3@gmail.com or by calling 248-625-8366

Cheryl: In general, what is spiritual direction?

Mary: (Here paraphrasing what Mary has shared as well as using a pamphlet she has given me.) Spiritual direction has as its purpose the goal of becoming more aware of God’s presence and how He works in our lives. It is making decisions based upon that awareness—this is called discernment. It is the sharing of your journey with someone of your choice with whom you are comfortable with and whose own premise is that God is the only director. The spiritual director helps you—the directee—to see and obey the real director of your life: God.

Cheryl: Is spiritual direction for anyone? Everyone?

Mary: It is for anyone seeking a deeper relationship with God.

Cheryl: What should a potential directee look for in a spiritual director?

Mary: A director who is formally trained and commissioned and who can listen for the movements of God. You want someone who is grounded in Scripture and is sustained by a deep prayer life. It would be important to feel a connection with your director. Also it is important to know if your director continues with his or her own formation and spiritual direction.

Cheryl: Is there a “main directory” of spiritual directors? How does one go about finding a spiritual director?

Mary: (Here Mary speaks of Michigan organizations but this information can still be useful to anyone in any state.) Any institution or organization that trains and certifies and commissions Spiritual Directors maintains a list of directors who have gone through their program. To find a Spiritual Director one should first begin by praying about it, then call one of the institutions to obtain a list of Spiritual Directors. Locally we have:

1. Manresa Jesuit Retreat House in West Bloomfield

2. Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit

3. Maryknoll Dominican Retreat Center in Grand Rapids

Cheryl: Once you begin spiritual direction, what can you expect in terms of length of time for sessions and session frequency and also secrecy of sessions?

Mary: Sessions tend to be between 30-60 minutes and are approximately once a month—although a number of factors play into this: certain life circumstances and movement of the Spirit to name just a couple. It is also important to be committed and not stop seeing your Spiritual Director because “life is going well” and you don’t feel the need! This is all part of learning about consolations and desolations in your journey.

Spiritual Direction is always confidential in regards to what is shared in the sessions.

Cheryl: Are there particular things that spiritual direction is not?

Mary: Spiritual Direction is not counseling or therapy. Although the two do share some similar techniques like active listening and self-disclosure, the main goal of spiritual direction is the directee’s relationship with God and the process of spiritual growth.

Cheryl: Do you have any final thoughts or suggestions?

Mary: (Here Mary shares her favorite quote on spiritual direction. It is taken from “Spiritual Direction and the Encounter with God” by William Barry S.J. and seems especially fitting to use as a conclusion to this article on spiritual direction.)

“Teach me to seek You, and reveal Yourself to me as I seek; for unless You instruct me I cannot seek You, and unless You reveal Yourself I cannot find You. Let me seek You in desiring You; let me desire You in seeking You. Let me find You in loving You, let me love You in finding You.”

 I don’t get that.

 It seems to me that good intentions ought to be worth more than a ticket to Hell.

 Having said that, I definitely get that the good intentions I have for any number of things can always be a hellish path.

 Exercise comes immediately to mind. As does dieting and just keeping fit and well at 53 years old. I am filled with good intentions, but turning those passive good intentions into successful achievements is another story.

 I suppose this also falls under the Scriptural category of the-spirit-is-willing-but-the-flesh-is-weak.

 So maybe the whole path-to-Hell-is-paved-with-good-intentions does make more sense than I am willing to admit.

 Either way, I have come to realize that while the initial good intention is a necessary first step to health and wellness, a viable course of action must accompany it—preferably something not too painful, boring, or time-consuming.

 My goal this year has been to find the right-for-me, realistic balance of health and wellness while accommodating the real demands on my life as a wife, mother, author and speaker—all the while making my spiritual life a top priority.

 I know, I know, I don’t want much, right?!

 My efforts towards this goal actually began at Lent when I gave up Facebook in an effort to give more time to God and to my own journey towards Heaven. I never went back to Facebook—or any of the other online social outlets that had begun to take up too much of my time. I pretty much stopped writing articles and even put a book I was writing on hold.

 I needed to get a handle on things. Big time.

 Since then, I have continued to use the time I once gave to online activities to the things that now contribute to my newfound wholeness.

 The time away from it all allowed me to sort through what I needed and wanted in terms of my spiritual and physical well-being. I was able to set priorities and developed a spiritual life that has really blessed me. I found a spiritual director and attended a retreat where I learned about Ignatius discernment. Ultimately, and not coincidentally, this all slowly turned my good intentions into a reality.

 Maybe that is the key to success: taking the time necessary to pray and discern and truly understand who you are as a person created in the image and likeness of God—and how to tend to that unique person in the physical and spiritual sense.  

With the New Year fast approaching, many people will begin making resolutions with good intentions. To help turn those good intentions into reality—and not become a path to Hell—I wanted to share some valuable resources that truly address the wholeness and holiness we all seek…

 Kate Wicker is a delightful young mom whose writing I have always enjoyed. She has a nice balance of wit and reality—of reverence and candor. Kate has a new book out titled Weightless. Weightless is the sort of book that should be on every woman’s nightstand. And I don’t say that lightly (pun intended); I promise there are passages in it that will be highlighted and will be returned to frequently! Although Weightless begins with the oft-trotted-out warning about media messages—and maybe rightfully so—Kate really hits her stride in the chapters that follow.

 (I know many women whose bad body images have nothing to do with media messages but was very much affected by things said to them while they were young; so while I can understand the influence of media messages, I really would like to see someone explore more in-depth how susceptible young girls are to ALL messages. I believe in Wicker’s capable hands, this could be an issue more fully explored and understood. My own interest in helping girls “vaccinate” themselves against bad body image at a young age is behind my work on the tween book Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…What is Beauty, After All?)

 I absolutely loved when Wicker wrote about why we exercise; her insight and wisdom here is worth the price of the book. I also found her encouragement to see ourselves through the eyes of our family as truly words we ought to take to heart. They jumped off the page at me. Wicker’s Weightless combines just enough real-world statistics with Scripture to make it the ideal sort of book to be a background to whatever health and wellness you seek as a Catholic. This is why Weightless is first on my list of resources: Weightless is a book that women should give themselves and give their friends. Now, since I know that most women would worry about why their friend has given them such a book—but because I also think this book should be a gift given to every Sister-in-the-Lord—I ask that if you receive the book, you receive it with the spirit in which it was given—love! I highly recommend Weightless as the foundational piece for the health and exercise program you seek as a Christian woman.

 The next two books I recommend are actually listed in Wicker’s Weightless book: The Rosary Workout by Peggy Bowes and Fit for Eternal Life by Kevin Vost. Working with Peggy on her book a few years ago, I truly began to see how my Catholic faith and my interest in physical health could be combined. Peggy is one of the most interesting women I have ever met and her understanding of wholeness and holiness is something I truly admire. Her book, The Rosary Workout, isn’t just about walking and saying the Rosary. Bowes’ book is about understanding the ways in which our bodies work—and when they are working well how we can more fully live out our vocations. Bowes flew planes for the Air Force and is a certified health and fitness instructor. Her knowledge of health and passion for her Catholic faith are beautifully shared in The Rosary Workout.

 When I first read Fit for Eternal Life a couple of years ago, I was taken by Vost’s ability to draw from Scripture while explaining how to get the most out of my strength training. I found his book to be the perfect complement to the aerobic training I was being introduced to in The Rosary Workout. Since then I’ve been able to combine the two into what has become my routine. More importantly, each day, because of the works of Vost and Bowes, I am able to view my body in a more wholesome and holy way.

 Since their work (Vost and Bowes) became so important to me, I invited them to write a devotional—which they did. Along with Shane Kapler (who followed Vost’s advice in Fit for Eternal Life and lost 40 pounds!) who is also an author (The God Who Is Love), the three recently released Tending the Temple: 365 Days of Physical and Spiritual Devotions which I have had the good fortune to publish. I’ve got to admit, for a daily dose of encouragement, nothing beats what these three authors offer in Tending the Temple!

 The other resource I want to mention for the Catholic health and fitness enthusiast—or the enthusiast in the making—is the book and DVD by Michael Carrera, Catholic Workout. Like Wicker, Vost, Bowes, and Kapler, Carrera’s great passion helps us see the whole self as a temple to be cared for and whose purpose of serving God is best accomplished through its loving care. Although simply made, the DVD does offer something new for anyone seeking a Catholic bent on their exercise routine.

 (I’d actually like to see some entity or production company or person with great vision to use the talents of all these excellent, knowledge and creative authors and explore what can be  brought to bear in the way of a Catholic Health and Fitness television or radio program—or a DVD series or something!)

 In the meantime, wherever the Holy Spirit is taking you in terms of your physical and spiritual journey, I am sure that you will be greatly blessed by any—or all—of these resources so that your good intentions become actions. You will be more fully equipped, with knowledge obtained through their passions and expertise, to better serve God who created you.

It just doesn’t get better than that.

My first couple of years went pretty much the way you’d expect: every day was an opportunity for me to grow as a person and teacher — apparently God wasn’t done with me yet! But more importantly, each and every day provided me with an opportunity to share my new found passion for the Catholic faith in ways unimagined.

You see, I had spent the better part of my young adult life learning about the faith that was so loved by my Polish Catholic grandparents but not practiced in my own home. Without placing blame, it might be said that my parents’ divorce, occurring while I was very young, simply put them at odds with the faith of their own parents. Easter was more about bonnets, baskets and patent leather shoes than it was about the Resurrection.

So when God opened the doors for me to teach English and Religion in a parochial middle school, I took it as a heavenly sign to ignite fires in a group of young people who may not have known how very fortunate they were to be in such an environment. It didn’t take long to confirm my suspicions. The daily rolling of eyes — as I jumped around the room exclaiming the Good News — made it clear that these young people really weren’t nearly as excited to be in the classroom as I was.

However, as the mother of three sons, I was used to kids rolling their eyes at me and so, much to the chagrin of my captive audience, this didn’t curb my enthusiasm for what I was doing. Oblivious to all the grumblings and head-shakes, I kept hammering away at how much fun it was to be Catholic and that through baptism these kids were initiated into the best thing since sliced bread.

They didn’t appear to be buying what I was selling and yet I wouldn’t surrender my convictions.

Literally day after day, week after week, year after year, I relished the chance to explore the teachings of the Catholic Church and to share those teachings — as well as the excitement of diving into the depths of the faith — with my charges. Moans and groans became the norm as I continually challenged my students with “Let’s see what the Catholic Church says.” But even amidst the disgruntled sighs and the rolling of eyes, there came a time when I knew that something I was doing was giving the Holy Spirit an “in” and was taking root.

The grades I taught were 6^th and 7^th and in our school 8^th grade was the time of confirmation. Now my own sons are part of the Chaldean Catholic Rite and so were confirmed with their baptism, but knowing that what I was doing in my own classroom was in no small way laying the foundation for an upcoming Sacrament, I always felt blessed to be planting seeds — even if I wasn’t sure if they were being washed away or not.

Then the fruit began to appear.

I’m guessing that word spread through the little school of ours that I was never going to relent when it came to the faith and so students began seeing me less as a nut and more of a force to be reckoned with and soon realized that the reckoning was easy: dig being a Catholic and find joy in your faith! I was no longer the enemy who made kids learn Scripture, say prayers to release souls from Purgatory, and discover what the Catholic Church taught on just about anything you could imagine; but I became the lady who really thought it was cool to be Catholic!

Okay, maybe I was still a nut but I was a nut who had their attention.

Throughout my years as a teacher there were a number of times that I was approached by a former student and asked to fill the role of Conformation Sponsor — now that’s the fruit I’m talking about. Very often we don’t see the seeds we plant (whether as parents, grandparents, teachers, or even coaches) take root, let alone produce fruit, so I’ve often considered it a gift from God that those requests — which I humbly and with great honor fulfilled — were made. God blessed me with rewards beyond measure when a student who openly ignored me in the classroom came back to see if I would stand beside him, hand on his shoulder, while he received the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

God indeed is good. And He rewards those who work for His kingdom — whether in this life or in the next.

Recently I was asked to write a review for an online Protestant book seller that offered Christian books for kids and classrooms. It was suggested to me — by a Catholic — that this would be a nice resource for Catholics.

Recall that I taught English, along with Religion. Those same passions that I took to my Religion classroom also animated my English classroom. For me, it quickly became apparent that along with such classics as The Chronicles of Narnia and other notable standards, our Catholic kids need a steady supply of fiction that engages and entertains but also educates and upholds their faith.

Not an easy thing to find, I will admit.

However, just because something isn’t easy doesn’t mean we ought to give up on it as a goal. Think virtues. Think diligence. Think about running the race set before each of us.

So, on more than one occasion, I simply trashed the offerings of the classroom book clubs that arrived in my mailbox every week with all their enticing promotional goodies that could be had for my classroom. I wasn’t going to cave in to their lure of free posters and great deals because I was dismayed at their lack of truly Catholic offerings and frustrated with their almost palpable assault on the students’ moral barometers – which are often, at that age, barely functioning any way.

Why, I really wanted to know, is our Catholic money good enough for these secular book clubs to take but not worth respecting?

I quickly understood that what I would teach, plant, or in some way build up in one classroom (Religion) could easily be taken down by one popular, immoral book in another (English). And so I would have none of that. Being older does have its own rewards and does make one more able to stand up for one’s beliefs and values; I was all about being a mother lion protecting her cubs — even if they felt ready to protect themselves and didn’t want my shelter.

But what in my eyes became almost worse than the flat-out assaults on Catholic values — a visible enemy that could be combated — was supplying kids with fiction that was deemed “better than nothing.” Don’t get me wrong, for a while I bought into the whole something-is-better-than-nothing-at-all phenomenon sweeping through most Catholic circles. It is that same thinking that drives countless Catholic adults to purchase books by Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen but then wonder why they still feel empty.

But isn’t something better than nothing?

No. In fact, it could be worse because it is completely lacking in regards to the real truth of Catholicism and gives an impression of a fullness that it does not have. In fact, I would love to see some statistics on how many Protestants purchase Catholic books. I would argue very few indeed because they see our teachings as possibly corrupting their teaching of salvation.

While I readily admit that we have much to learn from Protestants, I would also suggest that we have some things we can teach as well. But that door remains closed to us for the most part and maybe rightly so from their perspective. I’m not here to argue who has what to teach the other guy but to say that what we teach our kids is of utmost importance.

If that is the case, then shouldn’t we be keeping the door closed as well? At least until our children — and even our adult selves if necessary — are so fully steeped in understanding our Catholic faith that it does not lose its fullness in our hearts, minds, and practices when confronted with opposing or contrary views.

This exact phrase was said to me in the request to review and promote the Protestant kids’ book site to Catholics.  I was told “Well, it is better than nothing, right?”

As you can guess by now — my reasoning having been acquired, nurtured, and fed by many years teaching parochial middle school — I simply couldn’t agree with that statement.

When our Catholic kids miss out on such things as learning about saints and why intercession is a valid and important part of being Catholic, they miss out the way the faithful on earth are bound to those in purgatory and in heaven.

When our Catholic kids are denied the reality of Mary’s Immaculate Conception and her role as Queen of Heaven and Earth they are unable to develop and nurture a relationship with both Mother and Son that will be inherently valuable to both their earthly journey and their heavenly goals.

When our Catholic kids do not see how priests are called in a special way to stand in for Christ, they will disregard the vocation in whole or in part — either way to the detriment of themselves and the Catholic Church.

When our Catholic kids do not understand that baptism is the Sacrament of Initiation upon which all others rest, then they do not ever fully grasp the ways Sacraments and Sacramentals are tools of grace to be used and embraced.

Our Catholic children are far too precious for us to allow a seemingly benign mindset of something-is-better-than-nothing to pervade their faith development.

It also goes without saying that a Catholic adult not steeped in the faith risks all the same dangers when opting for a something-is-better-than-nothing mentality in regard to his or her own faith walk.

So here’s to jumping up and down — even amidst rolling eyes — with an understanding that:

The apostles entrusted the “Sacred deposit” of the faith (the depositum fidei), contained in Sacred Scripture and Tradition, to the whole of the Church. “By adhering to [this heritage] the entire holy people, united to its pastors, remains always faithful to the teaching of the apostles, to the brotherhood, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. So, in maintaining, practicing and professing the faith that has been handed on, there should be a remarkable harmony between the bishops and the faithful” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #84).

Anything less just isn’t good enough.

“Yeah, I can imagine,” was my uneasy response as then current secular headlines calling for Pope Benedict’s arrest and/or demand that he “step down” from the Seat of Peter were all over the AP wires.

As the mother of 3 sons, my own heart was restless in regards to the on-going, ever-unfolding priest scandals that rocked the Catholic Church. Although no such scandal had touched my own life, I often thought of, and prayed for, the families who had experienced abuse.

How could I, then, consider publishing a book that upheld the priesthood as a noble and dignified calling? How could I, with limited reach and resources, consider a book that other Catholic publishers wouldn’t ‘touch with a 10-foot pole?’

I suppose that if the priesthood were simply a “made up” practice of the Catholic Church I, too, would have walked away from Elizabeth’s book. After all, my own company is just a “David” in an industry of “Goliaths” and it would seem that instead of boldly going where others wouldn’t, it would be more fitting—it would certainly seem wiser and show more business acumen—that I take my cue from the big guys and walk away.

But my heart wouldn’t allow me.

Somehow I knew that if I walked away from this little gem of a book, the good Lord was going to ask me some tough questions when I stood before Him. Maybe it is because of all the research I have done over the years from my Jewish roots book or maybe it is because my small company could much more quickly and easily round up an illustrator and bring this necessary book to print—amidst scandal and contention that surrounded the Church—that my heart knew the answer before my head could process it.

Still, should I be brazen enough to imagine that this book may bring one boy to the priesthood or that it might allow others, not called, to simply understand that the holy priesthood is an institution that deserves respect and understanding despite the current climate?

While I may never know why my heart was filled with the understanding that I was supposed to publish this book, I do know that I am filled with joy when I look through the beautifully illustrated pages and read the words that shed light on the question: where do priests come from?

Knowledge, as they say, is power.

Part of my joy with this book—despite the pain of considering how the scandals have brought tragedy to so many—comes from the knowledge that the holy priesthood was instituted by Jesus Christ—it is not an institution that the Catholic Church “made up” but is, rather, an institution established by God.  Moses was called to consecrate his brother, Aaron, as high priest. In Aaron’s responsibility as such we most closely understand our own Catholic fulfillment of this sacred call upon a man’s life. Understanding Aaron’s role as having been “set aside” to serve God begins to reveal the ways in which a Catholic man may be “set aside” to serve as well.

The Protestant teaching is one of a “universal” priesthood in which the special, “set-aside” priesthood is no longer relevant or necessary. However, in denying that the priesthood still exists as a position essential to the Church, we would be required to deny the fullness of our faith which includes the Sacrifice of the Mass and the power to forgive sins—the binding and loosing in Matthew 16:19; 18:8 and John 20:23.

And I, for one, am not willing or able to deny the fullness of our faith. I could never walk away from the Eucharist and so could never walk away from the holy priesthood as instituted by Christ. I have had to learn how to deal with my own empathy towards wounded families, which at times is almost overwhelming, and still embrace the truth of the priesthood. It has not been easy for any of us who cares about others while loving Mother Church.

So what is our next move as Catholics?

Some call for the ordination of women into the priesthood. However, any real understanding of the practices and teachings of our faith reveals the absurdity of such a proposition. Others call for the acceptance of marriage for priests believing that this will increase the numbers of men who commit to the Sacrament of Holy Orders—but again this is an uninformed answer given by those who do not know their Catholic faith, its teachings and practices, or what it means to be in accordance with the teachings of the Magisterium.

Our next move, then, is that we catechize ourselves under the auspices of faithful Bishops and clergy—that we become vigilant when cruising through the Internet and reading blogs and articles about our faith; that we know why we do what we do. That we understand what it means to form our consciences according to objective truths and not subjective truths.

Without a doubt, our next move ought to find us passionate about upholding the holy priesthood as a linchpin of our faith—without the priesthood we will be completely lost. Make no mistake about it.

I’ve been reading Father Groeschel’s book Arise from Darkness wherein he writes: When we are …betrayed by those we thought we could rely on…we can pick up the Cross and wave it…To boast in the Cross, it seems to me, is an almost fierce gesture when we confront all that would defeat us and say: “Look at the Cross, all of you, and know that I shall not be overcome, because the Lord of Life is with me and in me, and he will go with me even through the valley of the shadow of death.”

I’ve chosen to emphasize the phrase “betrayed by those we thought we could rely on” and apply this particular passage to the Church’s Cross right now in regards to the priestly vocation. We will rely on those whose responsibility it is to right these horrible wrongs and to punish but we also MUST, in the fierceness that Father Groeschel speaks of, now be willing to wave this Cross and not let it overcome our Church.

Instead of running away from acknowledging the holy priesthood as an institution set up by God, Elizabeth’s book faces it head-on. Where Do Priests Come From? relies on research, surveys and a passion to uplift those called to the Sacrament of Holy Orders. It is a beautifully illustrated book that is able to teach young and old alike about this God-given institution and why we are called to build it up, honor it, and cherish it. This wonderful book inspires us to pick up the Cross and in fierce gesture collectively say: WE shall not be overcome!

Note: Where Do Priests Come From? is the first in a series of vocation-awareness books by Elizabeth Ficocelli. The second book Where Do Sisters Come From? is due out in January 2011 with Where Do Deacons Come From? due out in mid-2011.

Now, had she been the sitter of my first-born son, well, he would have known all the words to the song and would have been able to write the musical score!

First-born sons have always held a place of prominence, whether in faith traditions, societal values or simply as the one who gets the most one-on-one time with parents.

The first-born Jewish son, who “opens his mother’s womb,” is said to belong to God.  When God’s chosen people were in bondage to the Egyptians, and Pharaoh hardened his heart and would not let the Jewish people go, the Egyptians experienced a number of plagues.  The last, and greatest, was when God took the lives of the first-born Egyptian boys but spared the first-born Jewish sons.

Pidyon Ha-Ben became the practice in which Jewish parents “redeem” or “buy back” their first-born son from God.  It is a cause for celebration among Jewish families who observe the traditions of their ancestors and occurs thirty-one days after the birth. This is in keeping with Numbers 8:17 which states, “Indeed, all the first-born among the Israelites, both of man and of beast, belong to me; I consecrated them to myself on the day I slew all the first-born in the land of Egypt.”

Critical to understanding of the redemptive properties that belong to the first born son is the phrase “opened his mother’s womb.”  In other words, a first-born son who was delivered by Caesarean would not require redemption as he did not open his mother’s womb.  Neither would any son born after the first.

Some might disagree with the value placed upon the first-born son but it is scripturally sound and plays a role in understanding Mary’s perpetual virginity.

Most Christians agree that Christ could have entered this world in any number of ways and we thus look at his birth in a manger as a message of humility and meekness — ways in which we must live in order to most fully follow Jesus.  Instead of taking on a cloak of majesty He was swaddled in rags and slept on hay.  The images of this earthly beginning, from which to begin His work of salvation for mankind, are too numerous to mention but have all played a part in our own personal journeys.  When we strive for humility, we call to mind Christ’s own birth.  When pride gets the better of us, we get ourselves back on track when we contemplate Christ’s unassuming entry into this world.

Mary’s perpetual virginity — from the conception of Christ through His birth, and after — includes the fact that Christ did not “open the womb” of Mary when he was born. When we remember that Christ was born and died a Jewish man, and that His mother was a Jewish woman, the practice of Pidyon Ha-Ben supports Mary’s perpetual virginity in that had the Savior opened His mother’s womb, He would have needed to be redeemed which is, of course, a ridiculous concept to any Christian — Catholic or Protestant — and most fully supports the Catholic teaching of Mary’s perpetual virginity. In an interesting way, exploring the Jewish roots of our Faith often holds the key to understanding, more fully, our own teachings and practices.

What, you may be wondering, is in these bins and storage spots?

In fact, you may be thinking you need to contact that “Hoarders” reality show to let them know about me.

Let me assure you that all the bins and their items do not overflow into the living space of our home, nor do they represent my obsession with anything other than my children’s “growing years.” That’s right; these bins hold, for me, the treasures of motherhood. There are paintings, homemade cards and Christmas ornaments, prizes won and trinkets received. There are a few stuffed animals, maybe a blanket or two and as much as humanly possible a lifetime of memories.

My boys are now 22, 20 and 18 and the number of bins is no longer increasing. The totes now wait as my sons individually claim his own particular boyhood; and I’m able to admit that when that time comes, each may or may not choose to keep these “memories.” Certainly each boy may opt to reduce his dozen or so bins to a valued few. All these choices will be in each child’s own realm of authority, of which I will fully respect.

Some people might scoff at the idea of having kept so many things from each child’s boyhood; but for me these represented in some way my own struggles with being a mom.

Let me explain.

For some women, motherhood is “second nature.” For others, motherhood is a time of challenge overridden with joy. For still others, motherhood is something to be completely avoided.

And then there is that whole in-between area of motherhood: joy caught up in stress; happiness overshadowed with exhaustion; blessing intermingled with burden.

I guess I’m one of those found in the middle.

While I always understood the inherent joy that was mine as a mother, I also often found myself overwhelmed. I had three sons within five years and not a whole lot of help around. By nature I am a very personal person and so the idea of reaching out to others — who really would have been, essentially, strangers — was just not something I could do. So I soldiered on to the best of my ability. I readily admit —and have written columns about it — that I could not have been a mother who would have had time to blog or to read blogs. It would have been something that would have put me over the edge, for any number of reasons.

That’s just me.

And now I feel I have to be honest about my experiences because I found, years later as the Associate Editor of Today’s Catholic Woman (currently under the excellent direction of Genevieve Kineke), that there are a lot of “me’s” out there. Many times I received private emails that broke my heart; women being hurt (intentionally and unintentionally) by other women; women being judged (intentionally and unintentionally) by other women.

But let me be clear that my boys are wonderful young men; and were delightful young toddlers.  More than anything else, my feeling overwhelmed was more about me than about them.

And so I saved every piece of their childhood; because I knew how precious and fleeting it was and how while my heart ached to be more relaxed and joy-filled in the day-to-day motherhood experience, my mind raced with ways to cope.

Today, as my oldest has just graduated from college and my youngest enters his senior year in high school, I can relish the moments that brought me here. Just looking at the totes makes me smile and fills my heart with warmth. I know that God’s grace and mercy were always in my life and that the journey has been a blessed one, even if I didn’t recognize it as such at the time.

Standing at this point in life where my boys are becoming men and my own life is rapidly changing I feel called to share some of those experiences with others. In particular, today, I’m here to say, from the depths of my heart to mothers who may be like me: God is with you!

Let me add: don’t underestimate the value of a large tote bin! You may find that having one nearby and placing an item in it now and again has great value.  It might just be that the performing of such a simple task gives you a better grasp of the fleeting and precious joy that is your child and in that moment be better able to grasp your own preciousness as well.

I don’t remember much about the movie but do remember that particular line. There was something about the malevolent delivery, mixed with the truth of the words, which made it seem applicable to just about everyone.

Can any of us really handle the truth?

Do we seek it?

Do we welcome it when it arrives?

Or do we avoid it?

Do we do our utmost to see things the way we want to see them—ignoring it to our own peril?

I’m halfway through the book The End of the Present World by Father Charles Arminjon — available from the CE store — and Nicholson’s words keep ringing in my ears. I can see why St. Theresa of Lisieux said: Reading this book was one of the greatest graces of my life.

At this point, my copy is nothing but yellow highlights — I find the book that powerful. In particular I keep reading and re-reading pages 94 and 95. The topic is St. Thomas’ testimony on the last judgment and the three theological reasons for the universal judgment are being explored and explained.

I read in the words on these pages that reality of which Nicholson speaks when he barks at Cruise: You can’t handle the truth!

I, too, am struck by what St. Thomas says in regards to why man must experience both the particular judgment and then the universal judgment.

In our particular judgment, which occurs immediately upon our death, our life’s actions are judged. The sum total of decisions we’ve made, words we’ve used and courses of actions we’ve taken will be on the table: Each will be rewarded immediately after death in accordance with his works and faith — Catechism of the Catholic Church #1021

Beyond the particular judgment, St. Thomas gives three reasons why the general or universal judgment is necessary and these are examined in The End of the Present World beginning on page 94. The first of the three very compelling reasons is this:

Yet this judgment [the particular judgment] cannot suffice, and it is essential that it should be followed by another public judgment, in which God will not examine the actions in isolation and taken in themselves, but will examine them in their effects upon other men, in the good or evil deriving from them for families and peoples—in a word, in the consequences they produced and which those who perpetrated them ought to have forseen.

Wow.

It is so easy for us to consider our actions in isolation (or justify them so that they don’t need to be considered at all) but when we mull over their “ripple” effects, we get a better, clearer picture of how our life is connected to all others. Factor in the immense reach we have with the Internet and our impact may well be far beyond what we bargained for with ripple effects taking on the magnitude of a tsunami.

Then, when we consider that those ripple effects will become part and parcel of our general judgment, we are given a truth that many of us might not be able to handle.

Although not a betting person, I would wager that very few of us really understand or know how some of the simplest things we do or say impact others. I am convinced that, if queried, an inconsequential amount of people would believe that something they’ve done or said has caused another person harm or anguish. Let alone rippled along enough to become something that will surface during general judgment!

And yet it is certainly so.

This makes me want to pointedly ask everyone…if you’ve been dismissive or hurtful or downright mean to someone—whether you know them personally or just in the rapidly expanding world provided through the Internet—would you want them to tell you?

Is it a truth you can handle?

I would want to know. I would want to have a chance to make things right before I face my Creator.

In fact, isn’t it actually a blessing to let someone make amends while they still have a chance?

And if someone has been dismissive or hurtful or downright mean to you, do you think you have an obligation to say something? Especially based upon the fact that this may be their one chance to hear and respond to the truth before they are judged?

What are our obligations to one another as Catholic Christians in regards to sharing such truths? We apparently have a lot of power to help one another see the ripple effects set in motion by things said, choices made, and actions taken.

Should we be that honest?

Can we handle the truth?

[Get your copy of The End of the Present World today from our online store.]

Well, sometimes I seem to make better decisions.

Lately it seems as if my discernment seems a bit faulty. What I believed to have been a “right” or “good” choice doesn’t end well — or certainly not like I believed it should!  In those situations — again, like most Catholics—I do my best to learn and grow in one virtue or another. After all, I understand that the good Lord intends for all the experiences of my life to somehow benefit me in the long run.

Recently, after a rash of what seemed like far too many “bad” decisions, I began trying to discern the best way to discern.

I readily admit that I’m just feeling the pangs of age and recognize that I have less time to remedy the things that I get wrong; thus, I’ve earnestly begun to try to do a better job of discerning right out the gate, so to speak.

I share that brief explanation to now say that on my road to discern discernment, I came across an idea that at first I discarded but have recently revisited with a better, more thorough understanding.

Discernment, I read, is the time spent separating the holy from the unholy.

Unholy is the sort of expression that has as many meanings as there are users of the word. My first impression led me to see the word in a very “spiritual warfare” sort of way. For me, then, I discarded the definition because while I strive to be the sort of woman who, upon getting up in the morning, elicits from the devil “Darn! She’s up!” I don’t like to get carried away and give too much credit to the darker side of life.

So when I read that discernment was separating the holy from the unholy I couldn’t see how that applied to me.

Then one day, I suppose while staring out my window and looking for answers, I caught a glimpse of that discarded definition and it didn’t seem quite as worthless as I had first imagined.

From a safe distance, “unholy” took on a whole new meaning to me. “Unholy” I could now see included feelings that were very much a part of the decision making process that I was undertaking.

Let me explain. Part of me was fearful and apprehensive about a new project. Upon a closer examination I found that the fear and apprehension were “unholy” ways to look at the opportunity before me. Yes, fear is part of an instinct that can keep us safe—in any number of ways: financially, emotionally, and physically—but it can also be a detriment to our moving on, forward, or ahead.

Admittedly we all get a bit fearful when approaching new and uncharted territory but if we’ve spent time in prayer and have the right sense of fairness, humility, and wisdom when approaching something, fear should be removed. Fear, when it blocks us from doing something that we ought to do, or something that is meant for our good or for the good of God’s kingdom, becomes unholy.

I am reminded of the great and powerful words of our beloved John Paul II spoken in 1978: “Do not be afraid! Open. Open wide the doors for Christ!”

John Paul II seemed to understand how fear could be unholy in that it has a way of stopping us dead in our tracks.

We fear sharing our love of Christ because we don’t want to be labeled at “right wing fanatics.”

We fear working for Christ because we worry that our own needs will go unfilled.

We fear speaking out against abortion because we do not want to offend others.

We fear taking a leap of faith because we aren’t sure if a safety net is fully in place.

We fear making a wrong decision and so make no decision at all.

When fear becomes a factor in our decision making process, when it becomes a means to keep doors closed that Christ means for us to open, then fear truly is unholy; and, as such, discernment should be a time to separate the holy from the unholy—the fear that stops us from opening wide the doors for Christ!

What new and wonderful thing is Christ calling you to do but fear is stopping you?

In what ways is Christ trying to bless you but you aren’t having any of it because fear is in the way?

How might your life be better, right now, if only fear did not keep you from fulfilling what God wants you to?

As you discern the things of life, remember what John Paul II proclaimed to all of us more than 30 years ago: “Do not be afraid!”

These incredible women teach us both about the roots of our faith but also how our faith has unfolded so that we, as Christian women today, can live more fully for Christ. For a Christian man, understanding the roles of the matriarchs is no less important because it is through this understanding that the male/female relationships are revealed.

Sarah was a woman whose life’s goal was to have a child. The Talmud teaches that Sarah, along with Abraham, was a great converter of people to the monotheistic religion of Judaism. She is credited with saving many souls as she converted innumerable people from their pagan beliefs to monotheism.

Additionally, Sarah’s own faith was such that she accompanied Abraham as he answered God’s call to leave Ur and journey to the Promised Land. Abraham heard directly from God but Sarah relied on faith alone to make the journey and thus won great favor from God. Her faith was an admirable and necessary quality as she was to be the woman to whom countless generations would be born.

Throughout her life, Sarah was said to have been a beautiful woman whose generous spirit welcomed neighbors and thus witnessed in such a way that many were converted. Sarah’s spirit teaches us how to extend that same generosity towards others today as we live as daughters of the King. She was the first woman to light Sabbath candles which are meant to bring light to the home—something uniquely inherent in a Jewish woman’s role as wife and mother. Today, as Jewish households light their Sabbath candles, parents often confer the following blessing on their daughters: May God make you like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah. This blessing shows that Jewish homes understand how powerful a woman can be and remind daughters that when they live their lives serving God, they are always able to bring peace, harmony and “light” to their families and friends. Similarly, John Paul II wrote, in Mulieris Dignitatem:

The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of women is being acknowledged in its fullness, the hour in which women acquire in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at his moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women imbued with a spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid humanity in not falling.

Sarah’s beloved son Isaac grows into a young man who marries Rebekah. We see, quite pointedly in Scripture, that Isaac’s marriage to Rebekah occurs very near to the time of Sarah’s death. Rebekah is meant to carry Sarah’s mantle and continue the line of the Matriarchs. Rebekah is a devoted wife and hers is a marriage filled with loving-kindness, often called chesed. Through Sarah’s marriage to Abraham and Rebekah’s marriage to Isaac we are shown the great value God puts upon the union of a man and a woman and how they are meant to work, as partners, towards God’s goals for mankind.

Rebekah teaches us the value of devotion. She has great faith and courage to leave her family home and journey to Isaac’s land. Rebekah encourages us to embrace our roles as mothers, wives, sisters, and friends. Rebekah’s intuitive nature allows her to understand her own role as a daughter of the King and how to live it most fully.

Rebekah gives birth to twins, Esau and Jacob. While some see her as “stealing” the blessings from oldest son Esau in favor of youngest son Jacob, it is probably more accurate to state that Rebekah “knew” and responded to God’s call upon Jacob — as revealed to her during her pregnancy. “Knowing” such things are, once again, inherently female as witnessed by the matriarchs who, in their “knowing,” were strong and competent women.

Jacob falls in love with Rachel but is tricked into marrying her older sister, Leah. Although Jacob eventually marries Rachel as well, it is Leah to whom God continually blesses as Leah gives birth to more than half of the men to whom the tribes of Israel will issue. The Talmud teaches that each sister, Rachel and Leah, brings a particular aspect of the divine feminine into the lineage of God’s people. Rachel is by all accounts very strong-willed and strong-minded. It is Rachel who cries out from the heavens, generations later, as Pharaoh slaughters infant Hebrew baby boys in Egypt while it is Leah who steadfastly becomes the mother of many of the tribes of Israel.

Leah is a woman whose own interests all came second to God’s. She is sometimes referred to as “teary-eyed” or with “weepy” eyes but mystics point to this more as her being a recipient of the Holy Spirit than her being sad; although some combination of each interpretation is probably most accurate. Leah’s willingness to follow God’s plan allowed her to become the mother of more than half the tribes of Israel and give birth to Judah. It is from the lineage of Judah that the King of Kings would be born!

The Matriarchs, each in her own way, shed light on what it means to live as a woman of God. The Matriarchs were powerful women who were responsive to God and were committed to their families and friends. They were resilient women given their different and unique circumstances and noble in both their joy and in their suffering. They diligently worked with God and were wise in understanding God’s call upon their lives. Ultimately they were loving, self-giving women. When a man honors and respects a woman’s role as matriarch in her own family, he is honoring God’s call upon that woman. Likewise, when a woman honors the man’s role as husband and father; brother and son, she is also bringing the necessary peace, truth and light into her domestic church.

Being a matriarch of a family is a badge of honor and one to be worn with pride and dignity. John Paul II often wrote of a woman’s feminine genius and the ways in which her “gift of self” could be one of the truest way in which mankind could come to know, love, and serve God. During his papacy John Paul II wrote many documents in which he wished to share the divine plan that was placed upon women. When we look to the Matriarchs we that divine plan in action; we see how serving God brings true joy to our lives because we become who God meant us to be: conduits between heaven and earth.