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We’re well into the fourth week of our undertaking to read through the Catechism in one year as a part of the Year of Faith, and FINALLY there’s an opportunity for an Army Of Darkness reference (I mean, seriously, how can you run a respectable B-movie blog without the occasional Army Of Darkness reference?). To be specific, we’re talking about the scene in which our hero Ash is being questioned by the village wise man as to whether or not he properly performed the ritual necessary to safely retrieve the dreaded Necronomicon. The exchange went something like this…

Wiseman: When you removed the book from the cradle, did you speak the words?

Ash: Yeah, basically.

Wiseman: Did you speak the exact words?

Ash: Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.

Of course, we viewers know better, don’t we? But just in case there are (inexplicably) some of you out there who still haven’t seen Army of Darkness, here’s what actually occurred…

Let’s face it, some words you just want to get right. Take the 3rd edition of the Roman Missal released in 2011, for example. The 1969 and 1980 translations were fine and served us well at mass for decades, but the 1st & 2nd edition translators had used the dynamic equivalent approach (meaning for meaning) rather the formal equivalence method (word for word), so even before 1980 Church scholars were already pointing out possible concerns with the phrasing.…

“A police psychologist and his school-age son become embroiled in the machinations of a mysterious cult religion in this thriller from director John Schlesinger. After his wife is electrocuted in a freak accident, Dr. Cal Jamison (Martin Sheen) and his son, Chris (Harley Cross), move back to Manhattan, where Cal went to school. When not spending time with his son and surrogate extended family — husband-and-wife anthropologists Kate (Elizabeth Wilson) and Dennis Maslow (Lee Richardson) — Cal settles into his new job and romances his landlady, Jessica Halliday (Helen Shaver). Soon, though, a series of brutal murders of young children begins to take over Cal’s life. Through the ravings of policeman Tom Lopez (Jimmy Smits), who believes the killers have supernatural power over him after stealing his badge, Cal learns of Santeria, a voodoo-like Latin American sect that mixes elements of Christianity and pagan mysticism. Although the religion turns out to have ties to some of the richest men in the city and even Cal’s well-meaning maid seems to be a practitioner, he can’t get any straight answers as to whether the cult is responsible for the murders. But after a sinister African shaman (Malick Bowens) places a curse on Jessica, Cal finally begins to understand the danger that faces him — and his son. The Believers was very loosely adapted from Nicholas Conde’s 1982 novel The Religion.” – rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“God can’t save you, the Church can’t save you… you think science can stop them?” – doomed detective Tom Lopez

“Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God.…

“A police psychologist and his school-age son become embroiled in the machinations of a mysterious cult religion in this thriller from director John Schlesinger. After his wife is electrocuted in a freak accident, Dr. Cal Jamison (Martin Sheen) and his son, Chris (Harley Cross), move back to Manhattan, where Cal went to school. When not spending time with his son and surrogate extended family — husband-and-wife anthropologists Kate (Elizabeth Wilson) and Dennis Maslow (Lee Richardson) — Cal settles into his new job and romances his landlady, Jessica Halliday (Helen Shaver). Soon, though, a series of brutal murders of young children begins to take over Cal’s life. Through the ravings of policeman Tom Lopez (Jimmy Smits), who believes the killers have supernatural power over him after stealing his badge, Cal learns of Santeria, a voodoo-like Latin American sect that mixes elements of Christianity and pagan mysticism. Although the religion turns out to have ties to some of the richest men in the city and even Cal’s well-meaning maid seems to be a practitioner, he can’t get any straight answers as to whether the cult is responsible for the murders. But after a sinister African shaman (Malick Bowens) places a curse on Jessica, Cal finally begins to understand the danger that faces him — and his son. The Believers was very loosely adapted from Nicholas Conde’s 1982 novel The Religion.” – rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“God can’t save you, the Church can’t save you… you think science can stop them?” – doomed detective Tom Lopez

“Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God.…

The attempt to read through the Catechism in one year as part of the Year of Faith continues, and as often happens around these parts, my brain is making some pretty weird pop culture associations. For instance, the reading for Day 15 immediately brought to mind this old sci-fi influenced music video…

So, I suppose you might be wondering what in the world a woman warbling about weaponized sound could possibly have to do with the Catechism? Well, just take a gander at paragraph 102:

“Through all the words of Sacred Scripture, God speaks only one single Word, his one Utterance in whom he expresses himself completely: You recall that one and the same Word of God extends throughout Scripture, that it is one and the same Utterance that resounds in the mouths of all the sacred writers, since he who was in the beginning God with God has no need of separate syllables; for he is not subject to time.”

I’m pretty sure you can spot the dichotomy that set my mind to musing. While Kate’s song is about a single manmade sound that induces instant death, the Catechism, riffing on St. Augustine, describes The Word as a single-syllable utterance by God that echoes throughout eternity and brings life to us all. You know, the Catechism might not delve into poetic territory too often, but that image of Jesus as God’s single note that sparks all of creation is vividly expressive.…

As those who have have been hanging around here for the past few years know, the approach of Halloween means that the time has come once again for the B-Movie Catechism to present it’s annual suggestions for cheap and easy to make costumes based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months. We offer this yearly service to help out those Christians who might find many of the costumes offered in the stores to be either a bit too demonic or (as is becoming more or more likely these days) just too uncomfortably close to being nude to wear to their church’s annual Scarecrow Carnival or Hallowed Be Thy Name Festival, and would prefer something with a little more spiritual meaning behind it (even if, in most instances, you have to look pretty hard to find said meaning) without resorting to the usual shepherds, angels, or nuns (not that Sister Julie thinks there’s anything wrong with a nun costume here or there).

To start things off, here’s one you want find in any store. It’s everybody’s favorite giant monster from Denmark, REPTILICUS! Now I can hear you asking, just how exactly is someone supposed to dress up like a Godzilla-sized flying snake that spits acidic loogies? Well, the answer is simple… any way you want to. You see, no matter what you come up with, it’s going to look better than the pathetic creature that actually appeared in the movie, a creation widely acknowledged as one of the worst special effects ever committed to celluloid.…

You know, we always have some fun during this time of the year here at The B-Movie Catechism, but we’re hardly the only ones. Quite a few folks out there in the Catholic blogosphere are enjoying the Halloween season as well.

First off, while we’ve already mentioned Simcha Fisher’s Twelve Movies To Terrify Your Kids, a list we just had to follow up with one of our own, we thought we’d point it out again because the combox over there has filled up with dozens of great scary movie suggestions from readers. Scanning the posts, however, it doesn’t appear that Ridley Scott’s Prometheus is on anyone’s list yet. Well, that is unless you happen to believe the rumors that it’s shown up on the Vatican’s “Index of Forbidden Films.” Does it? You’ll just have to go to The Catholic World Report to find out. (Here’s a hint: there is no such thing as an index of forbidden films.)

Now with all those movies suggestions, it’s easy to forget there are some spooky stories out there to read as well. Julie and Scott over at the A Good Story Is Hard To Find podcast are discussing some of the spiritual implications in the works of everybody’s favorite prophet of doom H.P. Lovecraft, while Joe Wetterling takes some time at The Baptized Imagination to revisit the novel Dracula and point out some Christ figures that appear to face the Son of the Dragon.…

“In this supernatural horror story, Jenna (Angela Bettis), an unstable young woman, gives birth to a girl named Cody who proves to be autistic; unable to care for her properly, she turns Cody over to her sister, psychiatric nurse Maggie O’Connell (Kim Basinger). Maggie raises Cody as her own, but when the child (now played by Holliston Coleman) turns six, Jenna and her new husband Eric (Rufus Sewell) forcibly take back the child. Maggie believes Jenna and Eric are not fit parents, but when she takes the matter up with detective John Travis (Jimmy Smits), they discover that a number of children born on the same day as Cody have also been abducted recently. Even worse, it seems that Cody may now be in the hands of Satanists who, in accordance with Biblical prophecy, believe the little girl may be mankind’s last line of defense against ultimate evil. Based on a novel by Cathy Cash Spellman, Bless the Child also stars Christina Ricci and Ian Holm.” – rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“Jump, Cody, jump. If you believe in God, jump. And if not, you come to me. What do you believe in, Cody? My hand – it’s here, you can see it. Satan rules it and it will protect you always… Or his hand? Is it there? Or isn’t it? Will he catch you or not? If you believe, Cody, jump. JUMP!” – Erik Stark, Cult Leader

“Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 6and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.…

Normally on Things To Come I present a trailer or news article about an upcoming movie and proceed to offer some snarky commentary, but for this…

Variety reports that “Nicolas Cage is in negotiations to topline “Left Behind,” a mainstream reboot of the Christian-themed movie trilogy that will mark the first film from Stoney Lake Entertainment, a new production company led by Paul Lalonde of faith-oriented banner Cloud Ten Pictures… [the] project, budgeted in the $15 million range, was shopped at last year’s American Film Market. Production is expected to begin in early spring with an eye toward wide release in the fourth quarter of 2013. Lalonde told Variety that there is a theatrical guarantee in place from distributor Samuel Goldwyn Films.”

… for the news that Nick Cage may be starring in a reboot of the world’s most popular dispensationalist thriller series… I’m just gonna let that one stand all on its on.

…

It’s that time of year again where Christian parents try to find some scary movies to share with their kids on Halloween that won’t compromise their youngsters moral development or traumatize them into needing years of therapy. Over at the NCR, Simcha Fisher has a post up addressing the topic entitled Twelve Movies To Terrify Your Kids, and she has some nice suggestions such as Arachnophobia, Tremors, and The Birds. But of course, this blog being what it is, I couldn’t help but think of a few more PG rated goodies that fit the bill.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Fans of the original Bradbury story are usually a little let down by this Walt Disney adaptation and even non-fans will spot plenty of flaws, but for the little ones this is a pretty decent creepfest. You’ve got a bed full of spiders, the devilish Mr. Dark and his spooky lady friend The Dust Witch, and even some glimpses into the terrors of old age. And it’s all set in the month of October, so the timing is just right. (Disney’s The Watcher In the Woods makes a fine double feature with this, by the way.)

TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE

Oh sure, if you can get your kids to watch the classic black and white television series, then by all means do so. Their IQ’s will thank you later. But if the little darlings just have to have color in their movies, then this Spielberg produced homage is the next best thing.…