Item #39 on my ever-growing list of, “Things To Do When The Kids Go Back To School” is: Get back on a regular exercise schedule.
Apparently it’s an important goal on other Bus Stop Mommies’ lists, as today’s Pilates class was more crowded than usual. My kids started school last Monday, but I needed the first full week to finish twitching from the lack of door slamming and bickering.
I’d only made it to the Y two times the entire summer. This, after giving my kids the, “Yesiree, by the end of summer vacation, your friends won’t recognize you. I’m going to drag you out of bed and to the gym early every morning. You’ll be lean, mean, fighting machines. Except don’t fight — you know what I mean.”
They knew what I meant all right and because they knew me so well, didn’t protest a bit. If I was even awake in time to go to class, I hadn’t had my coffee. And without coffee, there’s no point in even attempting to exercise, let alone back the van out of the garage. Our summer of boot camp brand exercise ended up consisting of a few drags around the block by the dog, sprints from the parking lot to interstate bathrooms (I recommend the Three Rivers Rest Area in north-central Illinois), swatting mosquitoes and rearranging the living room furniture.
Last month’s little tumble off a horse (okay it was a huge fall at a full gallop and I haven’t experienced pain like that since childbirth) left me bruised but not broken. I was able to keep up with most of the Pilates class until the abdominal work. I tried to be productive, but any exercise requiring lying on my back caused extreme pain.
My doctor said not to do anything that hurts. (It really hurts to mop and iron.) He also told me I had to take long, hot Jacuzzi baths. Who am I to disobey doctor’s orders? I’ll just have to sit out and watch everyone else suffer…for some of the most uncomfortable ten minutes of my life. I was sure at any minute someone from the back row was going to lunge at me and scream, “Why do I have to do thirty more corkscrews when Rinehart’s just sitting there fogging up the mirror?” Wishing I had a doctor’s note pinned to my back, I sat and readied myself for the glares.
My deep concentration of counting the varying lengths of black pant legs was broken by the instructor. “I have a feeling Karen’s going to write about us this week.” Oh no, not only can Michelle pack in a full class of victims who then thank her for torturing their abdominals, she can read minds too! I’m going to have to be more careful with my inner voice the next time she promises, “Just one more set!”
Karen Rinehart is a syndicated newspaper columnist, public speaker, and creator of The Bus Stop Mommies™. Her book, Invisible Underwear, Bus Stop Mommies and Other Things True To Life, is a popular read in book clubs, school pick up lines, and soccer fields. She enjoys hearing from readers across the States and as far away as Australia, Japan, and England. You can read more at her website. Karen lives in North Carolina with her two kids, two dogs, and one husband, where they attend St. James Catholic Church. (Well, they leave the dogs at home.)
