That being said I enjoy the occasional uplifting chick flick; or a fun musical or a romantic comedy. I enjoy it even more with my girlfriends and a nice meal before or after. (Actually,  I’m more about the food.)

So early this summer when I heard there was a new Julia Roberts film on the horizon I was happy, since I generally enjoy her movies. She is one of those actors I can still enjoy because she is talented, nice to look at, funny and has not yet opened her mouth. By that I mean she has not taken it upon herself to inflict her political/social/religious opinions on the rest of us via Oprah’s couch or the Larry King show. She seems to me to be someone who is talented and takes her work seriously and then disappears from the limelight to be with her family. I like that in an actor.

I do not like actors who think because they can make movies they should have a say in how the world should work. For example I enjoyed Tom Cruise movies early in his career and then he seemed to go off the deep end. Now he could make the best movie ever and I would no more spend $12 to see it than I would spend it to contract Ebola virus. Same about Sean Penn and if I ever got close enough I surely would pinch Susan Saradon, I find her that obnoxious.

So I am conflicted about movies but not about actors.

Anyway, I hear there is a Julia movie coming and I think that I might actually go see a cute romantic comedy.  Then I heard which movie.

Eat, Pray, Love.

Aaaarrghhh.

I was disappointed. To say the least. I read this book  when it first came out and I have to say I HATED it. H.A.T.E.D. it.

Gimme an H, gimme an A, gimme a TED……

You picking up on the depth of my feeling for this book? It’s not that the book was not well written; it was very well written for the god-awful-no-one-seems-to-care-about-grammar-or-syntax genre of chick lit. It’s not that the author, Elizabeth Gilbert, isn’t a good storyteller; she is. I read the whole book in spite of the fact that I hated it. She tells her story really well and I was not tempted to not finish the book. I was tempted to smack her.

So why did I hate it?  She drove me crazy. Here is a woman with a perfectly fine life, a decent husband, an interesting career and a nice house, yet she can’t stop whining about how unfulfilled she is. Eventually she leaves the poor guy (best thing that ever happened to him even though it probably was hell at the time) and takes up with some actor no one has ever heard of.  When the starving artist fails to fulfill her and then dumps her, she convinces her publisher to pay her to take a year and indulge in her whims and to reclaim her identity — which apparently could only be done by indulgence in food, self absorbed “spirituality,” and a sexual romp through a tropical island. Hence the subtitle: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia – emphasis on “everything.”

Gilbert takes off for Italy to indulge in food since she has been emotionally and physically starved by her unhappiness. Of all the idiotic….

Well, she makes the point that the food is wonderful and she gains weight but don’t think this princess is chubby because she was soooo thin from the abuse of having to live with a nice guy in a nice house in New Jersey.

Then she needs to be spiritually fulfilled so it is off to India to an ashram to learn to find God by meditating for hours at a time.  By this time I was hoping an elephant would stomp on her. Find God in India when you could have found Him in your living room? Or here’s a radical notion, go to church. Who would have thought? God in church. When you just spent FOUR MONTHS IN ROME. An even crazier idea is find God by helping others in need. Just a thought. Rather than trying to find God by quelling the teenage-like angst in your head why not venture out and help someone else? See the face of Christ in the poor of India like a certain little nun we all knew and loved and stop whining about how your path to spirituality is blocked because you are so deep and riddled with complex thoughts that are too much for the rest of us to comprehend.

Ppplllffttthhh….

Next stop is Bali where she tries to incorporate the two halves of her new life, the physical and spiritual and it ends with her having an affair with a man she barely knows and regarding which the reader is subjected to more detail than is necessary. Honestly lady, have some dignity. Have some self respect. Write a book your mother could read without wanting to die of embarrassment.

From what I understand, and this is screamingly funny, she marries the guy and they — you ready for this — settle down and buy a house in New Jersey. So she ends up exactly where she started and her next book is about being married. We all were conned. She has all this angst about her married suburban life and then leads us through 350 pages of prattling about it to end up where she began. If you bought the book you should feel cheated.

I have no patience with this nonsense. Seriously this book is the most self absorbed, smug, spiritually-vacant, narcissistic, egotistical, annoying piece of nonsense I have ever had the misfortune to apply to my brain. My own fault actually since I continued to read the nonsense but as I said she is an excellent storyteller — and I kept hoping someone would smack her across the face and tell her to snap out of it. Never happened and of course now she is a bizillioniare with a second book (no I won’t be reading that one) and a hit movie to her credit.

Sigh.

We are a navel gazing society that can’t even recognize that a woman cannot possibly find herself while running away from everything that is meaningful in life. I don’t mean that a woman has to be married or live in the suburbs to be fulfilled, but if you are so self-involved that every little tiny thought of dissatisfaction or anxiety that pops momentarily into your head convinces you that your very identity is in peril it is unlikely you will find yourself anywhere. Personally, I’m so sorry I found her. I wish I had left her in the library.

And now I find out that this nonsense has infected the brain of Julia Roberts.

In an interview with Elle magazine already on newsstands, she announces that ever since filming scenes in India for Eat Pray Love, she has become a Hindu. Roberts, who was raised Catholic, says she and her family now worship as Hindus and go together to a temple to “chant and pray and celebrate. I’m definitely a practicing Hindu.”

Apparently, she not only named her production company “Red Om Films” but also allowed a Hindu priest to rename her children. The Times of India newspaper reported last fall that Swami Dharam Dev claims to have given Roberts’ three children the names of Hindu gods. He told the Associated Press: “I have named her twins Hazel and Phinnaeus as Laxmi and Ganesh, while Henry will be called Krishna Balram.”

Are you kidding me? Really? She converted to Hinduism because of a movie?

Another Hollywood actor looking inward and finding out that really they are so wonderful they need to chant about it. Spare me.

Sigh. Not again. I wish she hadn’t given that interview, because now I will never be able to enjoy her movies.

Scientology, Hinduism, Buddhism, New Age, flakey, baloney babble…what is going on out there on that left coast? Moral relativism, intellectual vapidity and spiritual emptiness has left people willing to believe in anything that makes them feel better about themselves. Next they’ll be worshipping at temples devoted to red wine and dark chocolate.

Happily I can eat, pray and love to my heart’s content — all within the confines of  my home with the people whose very lives bless and  fulfill me and a God who has blessed me beyond anything I deserve. I need not seek Him in out of the way places but rather find Him here every day in my home; and a mile away where His real presence resides in my church and in the face of those I meet all around me.

Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure no one wants to make a movie about that.

I have some experience now with the kind of fear that dwelled within the hearts Mary and Joseph.  It is actually more of a pit-of-the-stomach type of feeling. My own son went missing and the story did not end as happily.  My oldest son Ryan passed away this past August. He died alone and after a heart wrenching twelve hour search he was found. It was the longest night of our lives for David and me.  Ryan, who suffered from autism, had a seizure and slipped into the creek he was sitting near and drifted into a culvert. He was very peaceful when he was found, still holding his juice box and bag of Cheetos. Believe it or not that gave me some comfort. He died quietly in a place he loved, eating his favorite snack. He had not struggled.

Even though the search for Ryan did not end with relief as did the search for the Divine Child the meditation of the Fifth Joyful Mystery brings me great comfort. Our Lady in heaven knew my fear, knew it in a very real and human way.  To have a relationship with the Blessed Mother is to not only rely on her intervention for us in heaven but as mothers to rely on her motherly care and concern. She was a mother. She felt all of the feelings of love and concern and even fear that we mother’s here on earth feel. She wants us to come to her and rely on her motherly comfort in our times of need.

Let me tell you, I am in need.

The grief of losing a child manifests itself, in my case anyway, as a real physical pain. I have had an ongoing ache in my chest since I first received the phone call that Ryan was missing. So how can the story of a child found be comforting when my own story has been so tragically different?

The first words spoken by the Lamb of God in the Bible tell us the whole story, ""How is it that you sought Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?" In these words Jesus gives us the purpose for His whole life and His whole mission. Jesus’ whole life will only be explanation of these words. He needed to get going on His Father’s business. How very simple and yet heart wrenching for his earthly parents, his Mother in particular who knew that his life and death would cause her great suffering.

I firmly believe that my Ryan’s life and death are all part of God’s business. David and I first thought that Ryan’s death would be a small family affair with a short viewing and a family funeral.  It was anything but that and for this we are so grateful.  For every person who came to the wake and told me a story of how my son touched them; for every little miracle that let us know that Ryan was praying for us; for the incredibly beautiful and joyful (yes, joyful) funeral Mass. The church was packed and in our grief we were grateful. This could only be God’s business.

I have written before about Ryan’s devotion to prayer and we know that like St. Therese Ryan would want to spend his heaven doing good work on earth. When Bishop Libasci spoke at the funeral and called upon those who loved Ryan to ask him to pray for vocations to the holy priesthood, David and I smiled for perhaps the first time in days, and nodded. This might very well be the business that God required of Ryan and of us.

To live without Ryan is awful. I don’t want anyone to get the idea that we are being particularly saintly about it. Knowing that something is good for you and your soul and living with it are two different things.  Many nice things could be said about David, the children and I, but saint is not the word that jumps to mind. Really. So we struggle mightily with grief, confusion and anger. We gasp when the pain stabs us, when a memory overcomes or a memento crosses our path. The tidal wave that is grief leaves us breathless and weary. However we are Catholic and we know that our suffering is not in vain, we have the ultimate example of that in the Passion and Death of Christ. So in my very imperfect way I try to follow the example of Mary and trust my God, who I know loves me. Who has a plan for my family that will reunite us all in heaven and give us eternity to spend loving.

I can’t wait to hug my guy.

From the Knights of Columbus website:

“As Catholics, Knights of Columbus have the responsibility to work for the common good of society. Catholics–and especially Knights–must, in the words of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, “embrace their citizenship not merely as a duty and a privilege, but as an opportunity to participate in building the culture of life. Every voice matters in the public forum. Every voice counts. Every act of responsible citizenship is an exercise of significant individual power.”

That makes the decision of a small group of men to depart from one of the most sacred missions of the Knights to endorse the pro-abortion candidate for President all the more heartbreaking. KnightsforObama.org is a website decrying Knights of Columbus’ Supreme Knight Carl Anderson’s unequivocal denunciation of Joseph Biden’s supposed Catholic take on abortion.  I might add the Mr. Anderson’s position is one shared by every Catholic bishop in the country and full one fourth of them are speaking out strongly in favor of voting against the pro-abortion ticket.

Carl Anderson, a former Reagan advisor, openly criticized Senator Biden’s use of the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas to justify his pro-abortion policies and voting record. Since Senator Obama made a point of claiming his running mate as a Catholic in good standing Mr. Anderson had a perfect right, and some might say obligation, to call him on his mistaken belief that St. Thomas Aquinas would have found abortion acceptable.  In denouncing Senator Biden and Senator Pelosi’s position that abortion can be a permissible policy for any Catholic, Supreme Knight Anderson is merely stating a position that reflects steadfast Catholic teaching.

The Knights for Obama, led by Rick Gebhard, a member of Knights of Columbus Council 853 at Guardian Angels Parish in Manistee, Michigan, depart from this position by declaring the foreign policy platform of the Republican ticket makes them the less pro-life candidates.  This is patently absurd. While you may ardently disagree with the war, our policies in Iraq or any decision that has been made pertaining to our policy on terrorists, the fact is that these decisions and policies may be wrong or they may be right but abortion in any form is never right. To vote for a ticket that promises to undo all the work that the pro-life movement has done in the last 35 years is to be complicit in the abortions that follow. Senator Obama has made a promise to make his first act as president to sign into law the Freedom of Choice Act in the insane belief that it will decrease abortions. What it will do is open the floodgates to even more pro-death legislation.

Kudos to Carl Anderson for speaking out strongly against the culture of death and doing so on behalf of the 1.7 million men who work tirelessly for the causes of life. Shame on those who publically and cowardly departed from the path of life and used the good name of the Knights of Columbus to make their invalid point. I, along with many of the faithful respectfully ask Mr. Anderson to dismiss those who set up the website and are publically being praised in such dissenting publications as The National Catholic Reporter and Commonweal. The Knights of Columbus deserve better than those who seek to undermine their good and holy work.

It did not take long for the criticism to start pouring in from the Democratic Party. That is to be expected; they must have been as shocked as the rest of the country at Senator McCain’s brilliance in choice and timing. The talking heads were quick to point out Palin’s lack of experience in foreign policy and youth as drawbacks. Perhaps their time would have been better spent reading their own candidate’s resume and slinking off to a corner to ponder the irony of it all.

There has been a great deal of discussion about her lack of foreign policy experience in comparison to Senator Biden, the other candidate for Vice President. True, he does have more policy experience. It doesn’t mean he’ll get it right should the need arise. I have had a driver’s license for over 20 years and a lot of experience driving. This doesn’t mean I’m qualified to drive a cab in a busy, confusing city. There is no guarantee that I would get anyone, anywhere in a timely manner. Biden might have a lot of years under his belt but it doesn’t mean he’ll get us to the right place.

I saw a few criticisms on blogs and websites saying that a woman should be home raising her children. The fact is that God has given some woman extraordinary talents and skills to be used. There are women who are called to serve in a more visible way. To change the world not merely one diaper at a time but one country at a time. Our faith is blessed with many examples of holy women who have simultaneously raised families and worked. Venerable Marie-Zelie Martin, mother of Saint Therese of Lisieux and Saint Gianna Molla leap to mind.

Sarah Palin has been an elected official for 13 years. She has accomplished a great deal for the city she governed and for the great state of Alaska. She cut taxes, routed out corruption and started a process which will result in a natural gas pipeline being built in her state, benefiting the entire country.

She did a lot of this while pregnant. Speaking as a woman who has also been pregnant most of the last 13 years I can honestly say that some days my biggest accomplishment is watching my feet swell. After her brilliant speech accepting the job as a running mate to Senator McCain, Palin, her family and the McCains were interviewed by People Magazine for the upcoming issue. The interviewer was asked to wait a few minutes while the governor changed a diaper and located her breast pump. This is obviously a woman of boundless energy and a great ability to organize her time. Mothers all over the country can relate to this and we smile. We are perfectly willing to wait a few minutes for the sound bite, speech or appearance while a mom changes a diaper, bandages a boo-boo or looks over a beautiful picture. These are the things that unite us as women.

Governor Palin, while raising a beautiful family, has been called upon by God to use her great skills and talents to benefit not just the community in which she lives but the entire nation. This is a woman who when facing the diagnosis of a Down Syndrome child chose life and love and did not consider the criticism that might come her way from the radical feminists who worship at the abortion altar and believe any child that is not physically perfect is not worth having.

Governor Palin is a true feminist that the women of this country can be proud of, that we can point out to our daughters and say you can serve in office or run a corporation or work out of your home and still make your family and its values a priority. You can have a career and serve God, do his work and remain a feminine, charming woman. You do not need to compromise.

I get asked that question at least twice a week these days.  It doesn’t bother me very much since I realize that having seven children makes me a bit unique by societal norms. I can’t imagine why anyone would think I would willingly take other people’s children with me to Costco or the dentist (I wouldn’t) but it’s one of those questions that pop out of people’s mouths when they see me and my tribe out and about trying to accomplish those everyday errands that wear mothers out. The next few questions are the ones I usually find mildly annoying to downright offensive.

Do you know what causes that?

Why don’t you get that fixed?

Do you have a TV?

Are you Catholic? Irish? Uneducated?

Yes, I’ve been asked all of those questions usually in front of the children and many more questions and comments have been addressed to me that are not fit for publication here.   I try to be patient, I smile and suppress my natural sarcastic tendencies and answer as honestly and cheerfully as possible.

Yes, they are all mine.

Yes, I know what causes it and we prefer it to TV.

We can’t fix what isn’t broken.

I am both Catholic and Irish as well as being really well-educated, thank you very much. I have the paid-off loan documents to prove it.

Recently, on the soccer field of all places, some one came up with a different approach.

“So you’re one of those Catholics that don’t believe in birth control.” 

This was one I could sink my teeth into.  Now I believe in birth control in so far as it exists. Unlike the Loch Ness monster or leprechauns which do not exist, so I do not believe in them. What I do believe about artificial birth control is that it is intrinsically evil, immoral and a mortal sin.  Why do I believe this?  Well, the easy answer is because the church tells me so. Now before you give me the whole story about the old men in the Vatican wanting to populate the earth in Catholics by keeping all of the women pregnant for twenty years at a time let me just say: lots of women work in the Vatican; no Catholic document says you should have as many children as humanly possible during your fertile years, and; not all the men in the Vatican are old. 

That’s the easy answer. If I were the type of person to accept easy answer I would not have had to pay back all those loans for school. I like to know the reason for things. Why is it a mortal sin? What makes it intrinsically wrong to use artificial means of birth control? 

The marital act has two purposes; it is both unitive and pro-creative. 

The spouses’ union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life (CCC 2363).

Unitive means that it brings husband and wife together in a close and special way. It is for their good and for the good of their marriage. A man and wife give themselves to each other completely and exclusively. It is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves to each other for as long as they both shall live.

The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches  the spouses in joy and gratitude (CCC 2362).

Procreative means that each act of marriage be open to life (CCC 2367).

The church does recognize that there are times when it is advisable to avoid pregnancy. The reasons for doing this can be highly personal and should be between the couple, their confessor and God. It is imperative to point out that the reasons should be ones that stem out of a generous and genuine desire to be a responsible parent and a desire to do God’s will.

Toward this end the church, and this diocese (Rockville Center) in particular, teach a method of spacing pregnancies called Natural Family Planning (NFP). NFP teaches a couple to recognize the signs of fertility in a woman so that each month they can prayerfully consider God’s will for their family. 

With this in mind it just makes sense that to put something between these two reasons for marital intimacy would thwart the sacramental aspect of the marriage and deny God’s will. Hence the mortal sin part of the problem. It is God’s great joy to have baptized people joined in the bonds of marriage and sanctified by the sacrament. It is His great joy to have us be blessed by the fruits of this sacrament: a close and loving relationship and children. Children are a gift, a blessing and means to our salvation.

Let’s get back to that soccer field conversation.

The woman with whom I was speaking asked if I did the Rhythm thing. I have no rhythm and I told her so. Rhythm is an outdated method of calculating ovulation by using a calendar and predicting fourteen days into a woman’s cycle she would conceive. Since not everyone has that kind of cycle it was not a very successful method. I explained that NFP was scientifically based and used by many people of all faiths since it was the healthiest method available.

The lady then pointed out that since I had seven children I was not such a great poster child for this method. 

Sigh.

It is exactly because I have seven children that I am a great poster child, even though I really don’t want to be on any posters. Had NFP not been part of our marriage I would likely have a much larger family by now. When there is no good reason not to conceive we simply don’t watch the fertility signs and let God plot the course. This is not always easy and we come in for a good bit of criticism for our beliefs but the fact is we have a good marriage. We have beautiful children and we have faith — faith that God will provide us what we need both materially and emotionally to care for these precious beings He has entrusted to our care.  It is because NFP works that I have great confidence that what God plans for our family will ultimately end with us united in heaven. It is because NFP works that I can joyfully tell you that our eighth baby will, with the help of God, join us here in January.

Deo Gratias.

For more information about learning Natural Family Planning please call the Rockville Center Diocesan Family Life office at 516-678-5800. Other information about life issues can be found at http://www.onemoresoul.com.

The sets and costumes are perfectly replicated and my daughters, who attended the screening with me, were fascinated by the old-fashioned cars, feed sack dresses, and roller skates that tied on.

While chatting with journalists in New York, Oscar nominee Abigail Breslin, who stars as Kit Kittredge, related: “What surprised me most was the typewriter. I said where is the screen?” Miss Breslin’s portrayal of a resourceful and spunky young girl whose main ambition is to become a reporter is wonderful. She brings her sense of playfulness to the role and skillfully shows us Kit’s compassion for the people around her. Kit uses her skills of observation and copious note-taking to solve a mystery that baffles police and, in the process, helps to save her home.

Miss Breslin has been acting since age 3, when she appeared in a Toys R Us commercial. She had great success when director M. Night Shyamalan found her and cast her at age 5 as Mel Gibson’s youngest daughter in Signs. She became the fourth youngest nominee when she garnered an Oscar nod for Little Miss Sunshine in 2006, and she recently shared billing with Jodie Foster in Nim’s Island (2008).

When asked about researching the role, Miss Breslin told reporters that she spoke to her grandmother who lived through the depression. “She told me about people losing their jobs and homes. She even wore the same kind of rollers skates that were in the movie.”

“It was really sad,” observed eleven-year-old Madison Davenport, who plays Kit’s best friend Ruthie, of her research into the Great Depression, “to think that people had to leave their houses and get rid of everything they owned. ”

The film does justice to the time period and there is no glossing over or dumbing down of the tragedy and hardship endured by people in 1934. Bread lines, hobos, homeless friends and foreclosure signs are all part of the story. For all that, though, this is a movie filled with hope and joy. It is about family and friends and compassion and trust.

When her nose for news compels Kit to befriend a pair of young hobos, Will (Max Thierot) and Countee (Willow Smith), willing to trade work for meals, she sets in motion the means to discover who has been behind the crime wave sweeping the city. When her father loses his business and must leave town to seek work elsewhere, Kit and her mother (Julia Ormond) are left on their own and Kit’s household responsibilities increase as they are reduced to taking in boarders in order to keep their home. The boarders are a diverse group, Miss Dooley the dance instructor (Jane Krakowski), Jefferson Berk the musician (Stanley Tucci), Miss Bond the ditzy librarian (Joan Cusak) and Kit’s friend Sterling (Zach Mills) and his mother (Glenne Headly). The cast had great chemistry and each member brought something special to the project.

Taking your family to see this film will spark some conversation with your children, as it did with mine, about the importance of family over things. In the present economy, you can hardly fail to make comparisons and Kit’s mother’s adage of “Use it up, wear it out; make do or do without.” is one that can be taken to heart as easily in 2008 as in 1936.

Kit Kittredge, An American Girl is a family film that is actually worth the price of the ticket. These days that’s saying something.

A few weeks ago at church I found myself sitting behind a beautiful young lady who was dressed in pajama pants and a spaghetti -strapped top that did not meet the top of her pants. She spent the entire Mass slouched in the pew picking her fingernails. Her long, fake fingernails. In spite of how annoying this was, I wasn’t really upset with the girl.

It was her mother I had the issue with.

I tend to be more formal when dressing myself and my family for Mass. My girls wear skirts and dresses and my boys wear khakis and collared shirts. No sneakers, jeans or t-shirts allowed. These rules won’t work for every family but I have made them work for mine. There are some rules that do work for every family though. In general if you wear it to the beach — don’t wear it to church, if you wear it to bed — don’t wear it to church and if you wear it to the gym — don’t wear it to church.

Here on Long Island, and I’m sure everywhere else in America, the first warm breeze blows and out come the belly buttons, upper thighs and undergarments as outer garments. I am frustrated beyond telling at the selection of clothing for girls in sizes as young as six that have less to do with enhancing their femininity and more to do with exposing flesh. This is annoying in the mall; it is outrageous in church.

We, as a society, are doing a terrible job at protecting our daughters’ virtue.

Yes, I said it. Virtue. Not a word you hear much when it comes to young women but one that needs to be shouted from the rooftops. Here is another one: Innocence. Protect their innocence. Our girls and, to a lesser extent, boys, are being subjected to a marketing strategy referred to as the “tweening of America”. The term “tween” refers to the ages from nine to twelve and Madison Avenue feels they have found a gold mine in this demographic. They seem to be right, as parents line up on Saturday morning at salons to pay $45 to have their ten-year-old daughters’ hair highlighted and their twelve-year-olds’ legs waxed. Eight is the new fifteen according to the New York Times. This is sheer insanity.

To dress a six-year-old as if she were seventeen deprives her of her childhood. To allow a seventeen-year-old to dress as if her body was little more than a vehicle to display the latest trend is to deprive her of her personhood. Little girls should be dressed like little girls. They should wear clothes that celebrate their little-girlhood and announce to the world that they are beautiful as children of God, not as living racks for designer labels. To allow a twelve-year-old to dress in a manner that can only be considered provocative is to put her very soul in jeopardy. She becomes an object to be desired and possibly she becomes an occasion of sin for the boys around her. There are some genies that cannot be put back into the bottle and allowing a very young girl to display herself in a revealing way is not something a parent can allow until the age of seventeen and then suddenly develop a no tolerance policy for that kind of wardrobe and the behavior that will accompany it.

Now before you all start emailing me, I am not suggesting that all the girls go Amish in their clothing choices. It is possible to be stylish, pretty and covered up. I know it is; I’ve seen it happen. Right here in my own home and in the homes of my friends. Pretty girls dressed in pretty clothes appropriate to their ages and covering everything that needs to be covered. Teaching your children modesty in their clothing and in their demeanor awakens them to the fact that they are spiritual beings, designed by God for good and holy reasons. It ingrains in them a respect for the human person and gives them a dignity which they will fight mightily to retain. It will give them armor to fight the war against chastity that society will draft them into at a ridiculously young age. A strong sense of modesty will teach your children that their bodies are sacred spaces not to be abused or treated ill. They will surround themselves with like-minded peers and you will find as they get older that their inclination will be to shun what is not modest and embrace what is.

The Vatican has the same concern for your children as God does. The value placed upon preserving their innocence cannot be underestimated. In the document The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality we find this admonition:

“Parents should politely but firmly exclude any attempts to violate children’s innocence because such attempts compromise the spiritual, moral, and emotional development of growing persons who have a right to their innocence” (TMHS N. 83, emphasis mine).

Your children are created in the image and likeness of God and when they behave immodestly and dress immodestly they outrage their very Creator. When they are in church they are in the very presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist. Does He deserve less than what you would put them in to visit their grandparents or attend a birthday party?

I had the holiest coffee table in town.

When he got a little older, I purchased the lovely Mass Kit from Our Father’s House and I taught him the proper names of all of the pieces. He used his First Communion robe as an alb and I had one happy kid. Other boys dream of becoming a short stop for the New York Yankees. My autistic son dreamed of conferring sacraments. He wanted to assist at Mass, even though he was too young to serve. He wanted to sing hymns all day and his favorite outdoor activity was to walk around the perimeter of our large yard praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

I must confess, I thought it was weird. However, when you live with autism, weird is what you do.

I would listen to moms on the soccer field or in dance class waiting rooms complain about struggling with their sons about video games or Pokémon cards. I would wonder what this was like. In my house I was often heard to say, “Please stop praying and go outside and run around like other boys”. I would imagine that someday someone would be writing Ryan’s saint story and there would be this sad little passage:

“Ryan persevered in spite of his mother’s exhortations to stop praying. She interfered with his prayer life constantly and in spite of it he managed to grow close to God and perform many miracles. Pray for his mother as she is probably burning in Purgatory.”

Nice.

In the past few years, Ryan’s faith journey has been refined a bit. The Mass kit is not in use as much. He has joined the choir, choosing to serve at Mass through his musical gift rather than on the altar. He prays the Chaplet most days and loves to read and study his Magnificat. His favorite Christmas gift was his own leather bound Sunday Missal. I have no idea how much of what he reads he understands but he is faithful to it all and that’s about all I could ask for at this point. He is a frequent guest on the line to confession and makes his penance with reverence. Something must be getting through.

We have been blessed by a close relationship with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, an extraordinary group of men and women religious founded by Fr. Benedict Groeschel. These friars possess nothing materially but their love of Christ shines from them visibly. Ryan’s happiest moments have been spent at their friaries, having dinner with the brothers and playing guitar for their holy hour. He wants to be a friar in the worst way.

Can it be? Could he possibly take vows someday and live a religious life? I honestly have no idea. It is inconceivable to me, at this point, that he will possess the ability to attend a seminary but to take vows and live as a friar? Why not? His only ambitions are to pray, attend Mass, play the guitar at Mass and prayer group and he is perfectly willing and able to do simple works and jobs. Sounds pretty Franciscan to me.

I once told a priest of my joy about Ryan’s obvious love of God and my concern that his life’s ambition would not come to pass due to his disability. He advised me to get St. John Vianney on it. Not only is this great saint patron of parish priests, he was refused entrance to the seminary three times due to poor academics. So I have been asking this holy saint to intercede on Ryan’s behalf, to help him achieve his goal of living a life dedicated to serving God in a religious order.

I feel, deep in my heart, that while Ryan is certainly not in any way a saint — he is totally normal in the driving his sisters crazy department and he is also far advanced in the not listening department — there is something “other-worldly” about him. His great love of our Catholic faith delights me, but had little to do with me. It grew out of him somehow and, to be honest, his faith has deepened mine, rather than the other way around.

So for now I try my best to create an atmosphere in the home that encourages a religious vocation, for any of my children. I treat priests and sisters like the heroes they are and speak highly of their calling. I encourage my daughters to spend time at the Franciscan convent. Katie and Erin have an ongoing game of charades with Sisters Elizabeth and Francesca and their delight in this humble pasttime blows my high tech kids away. The joy that my family experiences in spending time with people in different religious vocations will hopefully bring a vocation or two to our family. And if I am lucky enough to raise a saint, hopefully he’ll pray me out of Purgatory. I’ll need all the help I can get.

Every Friday night will find my family here at my house or at the home of one of four other families consuming pizza and praying the rosary.  This rosary group has existed for about fifteen years and my family has been a member for about nine.  We gather in the evening and the hosting family provides pizza while the other families contribute soda, juice, wine and, when not in Lent, desserts.  We eat and then settle down to pray together.

This is absolutely, positively not a meditative rosary.  There are children ranging in ages from 18 months (my twins) to college age.  Our devotions could be considered more athletic than contemplative.

"Hail Mary, full of grace (sit down) the Lord is with (stop swinging the beads) thee.  Blessed art thou (ssshh) among women (please leave your sister alone) and blessed is the fruit (get the baby off the table) of thy womb Jesus."

You get the idea.

There are virtues to be gained in this rosary, patience being the main one.  One of the many upsides of this monumental effort is that the children learn the prayers of the rosary, generally, by the time they are three and this devotion seamlessly becomes a part of their lives.  On the occasion when we miss a Friday there is a hole in our week, a void that can't be filled by just praying the rosary alone.  This kind of public prayer brings us together as the Body of Christ and reaps untold spiritual graces.

My own version of the rosary, my private devotion, is more of a rosarius rapidus, prayed at 5:00 a.m. in about twenty minutes with a nod to the mysteries of the day.  A busy mom's rosary.  Later, before their school day begins, I pray another rosary with the children.  I take the time to read the meditation before each decade and try, try, try to instill some contemplation into their young lives.  The virtue is in the trying.

When I taught CCD in my parish I would often hear parents say that they had difficulty with teaching their children the prayers required to receive First Holy Communion.  Often they felt it a burden for their children to learn the Hail Mary, Our Father and Act of Contrition.  This astonishes me since most children that age can recite entire episodes of SpongeBob Square Pants verbatim.  Obviously, memorization is not an issue.  Any child who can recite to you the five hundred Pokemon characters or the Mets starting line-up is not lacking in skills to memorize.  What it takes is a little more effort on the part of parents.

By far the easiest way to teach children to pray is to actually pray with them, every day.  Say the blessing before meals every time you eat.  It becomes a habit and your children will expect it and make it part of your mealtime ritual.  Once it becomes part of their day, well, heaven help you if you forget.  Then every evening before bed say a Hail Mary with them.  It will take twenty seconds.  Everyone has an extra twenty seconds.  Within two weeks most children will have the prayer down pat.  Much the same way they learned to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle" they will learn their prayers from mom and dad.  This nightly ritual will expand as they get older and include more prayers and special intentions.  Teach them to pray for the Holy Souls in purgatory, the protection of the unborn, the poor, the ill and those steeped in sin.  Teach them to pray for specific intentions, their friends, their teachers, their grandparents and you.  Teach them to keep company with the Saints and read saint stories to them as often as possible.

As they grow older they will develop their own prayer life and a fondness for devotions outside of the ones you favor.  My son Ryan has a great devotion to the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  He takes out his beads and prays it faithfully each day.  Katie always has a novena to St. Therese going, cultivating a beautiful relationship with this great saint.  Erin remains a rosary girl, like her mother.  The younger children enjoy laying roses at their Heavenly Mother's feet with each Hail Mary and singing praise and worship songs. 

When you teach your children to pray faithfully and make family prayer a part of your daily lives together, you bind them to their faith and to their family. You create opportunity for them to develop a close relationship with Our Heavenly Father, Our Blessed Mother and the communion of saints.

That will come in a lot more handy than a relationship with SpongeBob.  I promise.

Resources for praying with children
Rev. Lawrence L. Lovasik has written many books of devotions for children. They are all available from The Catholic Company for $1.50 each. They are lively, well written and beautifully illustrated. They make lovely additions to Easter Baskets. http://www.catholiccompany.com/catholic-catalog/983/Rev-L-Lovasik-SVD/?aid=117

Tomie dePaola, an awarding winning author and illustrator of children's books, has written many saint biographies and books with Catholic themes. Many are available at Adoremus Books. http://www.adoremusbooks.com/ and http://www.amazon.com/

A guide to praying the rosary — http://www.rosary-center.org/howto.htm

EWTN has an exhaustive listing of Catholic devotions and prayers. http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayer_saint.htm

Every Friday night will find my family here at my house or at the home of one of four other families consuming pizza and praying the rosary.  This rosary group has existed for about fifteen years and my family has been a member for about nine.  We gather in the evening and the hosting family provides pizza while the other families contribute soda, juice, wine and, when not in Lent, desserts. We eat and then settle down to pray together.

This is absolutely, positively not a meditative rosary.  There are children ranging in ages from 18 months (my twins) to college age.  Our devotions could be considered more athletic than contemplative.

"Hail Mary, full of grace (sit down) the Lord is with (stop swinging the beads) thee. Blessed art thou (ssshh) among women (please leave your sister alone) and blessed is the fruit (get the baby off the table) of thy womb Jesus."

You get the idea.

There are virtues to be gained in this rosary, patience being the main one. One of the many upsides of this monumental effort is that the children learn the prayers of the rosary, generally, by the time they are three and this devotion seamlessly becomes  a part of their lives. On the occasion when we miss a Friday there is a hole in our week, a void that can't be filled by just praying the rosary alone. This kind of public prayer brings us together as the Body of Christ and reaps untold spiritual graces.

My own version of the rosary, my private devotion, is more of a rosarius rapidus. Prayed at 5:00 a.m. in about twenty minutes with a nod to the mysteries of the day.  A busy mom's rosary. Later, before their school day begins I pray another rosary with the children.  I take the time to read the meditation before each decade and try, try, try to instill some contemplation into their young lives.  The virtue is in the trying.

When I taught CCD in my parish I would often hear parents say that they had difficulty with teaching their children the prayers required to receive First Holy Communion.  Often they felt it a burden for their children to learn the Hail Mary, Our Father and Act of Contrition.  This astonishes me since most children that age can recite entire episodes of SpongeBob Square Pants verbatim.  Obviously memorization is not an issue.  Any child who can recite to you the five hundred Pokemon characters or the Mets starting line-up is not lacking in skills to memorize.  What is takes is a little more effort on the part of parents.

By far the easiest way to teach children to pray is to actually pray with them, every day. Say the blessing before meals every time you eat. It becomes a habit and your children will expect it and make it part of your mealtime ritual. Once it becomes part of their day, well, heaven help you if you forget.  Then every evening before bed say a Hail Mary with them.  It will take twenty seconds. Everyone has an extra twenty seconds.  Within two weeks most children will have the prayer down pat. Much the same way they learned to sing "Twinkle Twinkle" they will learn their prayers from mom and dad.  This nightly ritual will expand as they get older and include more prayers and special intentions. Teach them to pray for the Holy Souls in purgatory, the protection of the unborn, the poor, the ill and those steeped in sin. Teach them to pray for specific intentions, their friends, their teachers, their grandparents and you.  Teach them to keep company with the Saints and read saint stories to them as often as possible.

As they grow older they will develop their own prayer life and a fondness for devotions outside of the ones you favor. My son Ryan has a great devotion to the Divine Mercy Chaplet. He takes out his beads and prays it faithfully each day.  Katie always has a novena to St. Therese going, cultivating a beautiful relationship with this great saint. Erin remains a rosary girl, like her mother.  The younger children enjoy laying roses at their Heavenly Mother's feet with each Hail Mary and singing praise and worship songs. 

When you teach your children to pray faithfully and make family prayer a part of your daily lives together you bind them to their faith and to their family. You create opportunity for them to develop a close relationship with Our Heavenly Father, Our Blessed Mother and the communion of saints.

That will come in a lot more handy than a relationship with SpongeBob. I promise.

Resources for praying with children
Rev. Lawrence L. Lovasik has written many books of devotions for children. They are all available from The Catholic Company for $1.50 each. They are lively, well written and beautifully illustrated. They make lovely additions to Easter Baskets. http://www.catholiccompany.com/catholic-catalog/983/Rev-L-Lovasik-SVD/?aid=117

Tomie dePaola an awarding winning author and illustrator of children's books has written many saint biographies and books with Catholic themes. Many are available at Adoremus Books. http://www.adoremusbooks.com/ and http://www.amazon.com/

A guide to praying the rosary – http://www.rosary-center.org/howto.htm

EWTN has an exhaustive listing of Catholic devotions and prayers. http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayer_saint.htm