First, we must realize that this passage is not an anomaly with St. Paul. St. Paul teaches similar sentiments elsewhere: in 1 Cor. 11: 3 ("the head of every woman is the man"); and in Colossians 3:18 ("Wives be subject to your husbands…"). Some have said that St. Paul just didn’t like women; but then we look and find that St. Peter, our first pope says: "let wives be subject to their husbands" (1 Peter 3:1)!

Is it simply a matter of a different culture, thus we can ignore these passages? Fr. Benedict Groeshel, C.F.R. in Reform of Renewal (Ignatius Press) says, "The believer accepts the fact that divine Providence has given us the Sacred Scriptures as a special grace. They are not the words of men; they are the words of God. … We have to accept the words of Scripture as living words addressed to ourselves. While we use our intelligence and research to discover the best possible understanding and interpretation of these words as they were originally given …" So we see, we can’t just dismiss these words, "let women be subject to their husbands" because they don’t fit our "culture;" we need to take a closer look, and embrace these words as coming from God.

Passages in Holy Scripture can have more than one meaning, or have different levels of meanings. Any particular line in Holy Scripture must be understood in the context of all of Scripture and especially in context with those passages surrounding. Unfortunately everyone is so focused on the line "wives be subject to your husbands," that context is lost. We need to look at the whole of St. Paul’s teaching on marriage. After we seek understanding, then we can enter prayer and ask guidance on how this Scripture applies to our very circumstances

First, we may have heard that the family is a model of the Holy Trinity. We say that the love between God the Father and God the Son is so great that the Holy Ghost proceeds from Them — in a similar manner, the love between husband and wife begets children. But note, the family is not the Holy Trinity; it just models the Holy Trinity. In the same way we see St. Paul modeling marriage, the relation between the husband and wife, as Christ and the Church. Note that this is a model or prototype — the husband and wife aren’t actually Christ and His Church. While this would seem obvious, sometimes the distinction gets lost as the words used to describe reality and prototype merge.

St. Paul models marriage after Christ and His Church. The husband is the prototype of Christ; the wife the prototype of the Church. Christ physically "enters" His Church in the Holy Eucharist. The husband "enters" the wife in marriage. These are realities. Christ is the protector of the Church — the husband, is the protector of the family. The Church is subject to Christ. Yet also the Church is the Mystical Body of Christ. This is why St. Paul says of the husband: "He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. For no man ever hateth his own flesh". This hearkens back to Genesis, — "they shall be two in one flesh".

The parallels continue: Adam says of Eve, "This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man " (emphasis added). The Church was born from the Side of Christ on Good Friday. Woman is originally born from the rib — or the side of man. So with these similarities, we can see why husband and wife take on their respective prototypical roles.

We can not leave the academic study of scripture without mentioning one sobering point. We know that in reality and throughout history some men and societies have (because of their physical strength and power) placed women as inferior to men and have subjected women to all kinds of outrage and abuse. This continues especially in the pornography which is so widespread today. This was prophesized in Genesis. After God has found Adam and Eve in their guilt, God admonishes Eve, saying: "I will multiply thy sorrows, and thy conceptions: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and thou shalt be under thy husband’s power; he shall have dominion over thee." The natural order has been broken and thus true charity is turned into selfish desires and struggles for power. However the dominion of man over woman that God admonishes Eve with is not the same subjection St. Paul talks abou — for St. Paul is raising women out of their sorrow created by Eve.

In fact we must digress for a moment and emphasize that while many societies have placed women as inferior, it is the historical fact, (contrary to what secular historians claim), that it is the Catholic Church that has raised the dignity of women to be the same as that of man — because (in part) She (the Church) sees in women a reflection of Herself — and because the dignity of women is a God-made reality.

Note that St. Paul describes wives’ subjection to their husbands as the prototype for the Church’s subjection to Christ. Does the Church feel cheated because She is formed from the side of Christ? Does the Church feel slighted because She must follow Christ (to Her salvation)? Yet the hairs rise on the necks of feminists when women are made the prototype of the Church. Christ loves the Church. It is the object of His great affection. Women are made prototype to this image of Christ’s affection. How can one take offense? The wife should embrace the honor given her as prototype for the Church: that instrument of Christ, that bride of Christ, through which graces flow — through which all men come to their salvation. Women are the prototype of this worthy bride!

In fact, it is the husband who should pale and fear the words of Ephesians. He is asked to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. How did Christ love the Church, His bride? Through suffering and death; by opening His side and pouring out every drop of His precious life-blood. This is what husbands are asked to do for their wives as the prototype of Christ — love without counting the cost, without ceasing. St. Paul says that the husband must sanctify his wife. Just as Christ cleanses and purifies His bride so that it can approach the Father "not having a spot or wrinkle, … but should be holy and without blemish", thus also, the husband must present his bride to God — having made her "holy and without blemish".

We need to take this new understanding, which has only scratched the theological surface, to prayer so we can understand what it means in our own lives. Everyone wants to focus on their spouses’ responsibilities instead of their own. It is easy to tell for a man to tell his wife, "You are not being subject to me!" But this is in reality a matter between her and her confessor. Or the woman to say to her husband, "You are not loving me as Christ does!" This is a matter between him and his confessor. Instead of examining each other’s consciences, we need to examine our own.

For the woman, she should meditate on this passage in a new light — the light of embracing her vocation as wife, mother, and woman. She should always be mindful that she is the prototype for the Church and all that this entails. In her life as mother and wife, is she a vessel of love and grace to her family? Does she understand she is one flesh with her husband — not an independent woman?

For the man (and I can speak to this more readily), we find the tables have been turned. Instead of Ephesians 5 being an excuse to lord it over our families, we find it is an obligation of service. Recall Christ’s washing His disciples’ feet at the Last Supper. Again, it was the Lord who suffered on the cross, not His Church. We are the prototypes of Christ in our family. His leadership of the Church is one of charity and suffering. We must examine our conscience as husbands and fathers and ask ourselves: How do I suffer for my family? What sacrifices do I offer? Do I fast for my wife and children? How, when and how often do I pray and mortify myself for my family? Do I serve my family — giving all, or do I expect my wife and children to serve my needs? Do I lead family prayers? Do I lead by edict or by sacrificial example ? What concrete efforts am I making to present my spouse to God as "holy and without blemish"?

Whether we understand all the theological prototypes in Ephesians or not, in the final analysis husband and wife must make charity for each other a priority. St. Paul begins his treatise on marriage with the words, "Being subject one to another , in the fear of Christ" (emphasis added). The Church, through the teaching of Sts. Peter and Paul on marriage, brings husband and wife to their greatest dignity. Christ has sanctified marriage — let us not sully it in our territorial selfishness. Instead of keeping score, as husbands and wives we must give until we have nothing left — until the last drop has fallen. If we want to truly take to heart St. Paul’s (and Christ’s) teaching on marriage, we need to stop setting boundaries on our service to each other. Instead, let us take to heart St. Paul’s great exhortation to charity in 1 Corinthians 13 ("love … endureth all things"), and St. Peter’s most practical admonishment for married couples in 1 Peter 4: 8 ("for charity covereth a multitude of sins").

(A version of this article was published in 2005 by Catholic Exchange.)

Every March the best Catholic blogs are recognized via the Catholic Blog Awards.  There are several categories of excellence.  Blogs are nominated by readers at the end of February and the voting takes place in early March — right now in fact.  (You can see who's been nominated and vote at www.catholicblogawards.com.)

Personally, I am surprised that I wasn't nominated for a Catholic Blog Award.  However, I will be realistic — let's see how many categories there are for which I should have been nominated.

For a few I am clearly not qualified: I'm not clergy; I am not a group; I've been at this for 3.5 years, so my blog is not new (although I keep the material fresh) and; my template is standard, so I guess my blog design doesn't compete for the best.

Let's see, that leaves us with Best Apologetics Blog?  Okay, really iffy at best.

Inside News?  Hardly, unless you consider what's happening in our kitchen inside news.

Political/Social Commentary?  Well, this is starting to be a possibility; after all, I am running for president in '12.  However, if I look at the past year, I must honestly say, my political commentary was not a dominate feature.  Social commentary is more my thing.  But I guess that only fits half the bill.

Funniest?  I guess this depends on whether you are laughing with me or at me!

Spiritual?  Only if you consider that my blog makes people pray that they don't become more like me.

Okay, now we are getting down to the categories where I can really compete:

Informative — Come on, who doesn't want to know how to set a railing in concrete in the dark incorrectly?  And how about how to keep dogs out of your chicken pen (Oh yeah, maybe it was how to let them in); 

and Insightful — I can pick out as good a quote to post as the next guy, and I am insightful enough (usually) to let the quote speak for itself without adding my two cents (if my two cents were worth it, people would be quoting me).

Smartest — Well, what can I say?  I tell my kids that I know practically everything.  If that's true (and it must be, because I know practically everything) then my blog must be one of the smartest, as it is written by a guy who knows practically everything.  (See how smart my circular logic is? Just proves my point.)

Now the last three categories I re-e-e-e-a-lly qualify for:

Best Catholic Blog by an Individual — I am Catholic.  I am an Individual.  Therefore, at least I should have received a nomination.  Obviously competition is steep on this one as there are many individual Catholics out there with blogs.  There's no real quality criteria for winning this one other than the vague notion of "Best".  So, while I certainly should be in the running, I will concede to let the smaller "individuals" compete for this one.  I have bigger fish to fry.

Best written — All I can say is that I enjoy reading my own blog more than anyone else's.  Because I am a good judge of writing (after all, I work as an editor for a "large" publishing house) this really should sew it up.

Finally we come to the granddaddy of them all:

Best Overall Catholic Blog — I guess the real criterion here is giving the complete package.  Look, I let you know when blogging will be light.  I give previews of what's ahead.  I tell you what I'm reading.  I tell you how many eggs we get on a daily basis (practically).  I give you details of my Saturday chores.  I post pictures just because I can.  I plug my business.  I let you all know every time I post something to one of my other neglected blogs.  I even let you know the day I start working on my taxes.  I occasionally quote Scripture and writings from saints.  I occasionally write things that embarrass my wife.  I whine about how there is no political party for me.  And I am running for president in '12.  Do I need to go on?

I think the Catholic Blog Awards people need to add a new category to the nominations for next year so that all Catholic bloggers get a chance.  Here it is: The Best Catholic Blog written by a transplanted Northerner living in the South, with seven kids, a wife, two dogs, 28 chickens (when the dogs aren't attacking the chickens), 3 pigs, 2 cats, and 3 dead cars in the driveway, who likes to read, write and get nominated for a Catholic Blog Award.

Go Vote!

When Richard Nixon "opened" China to Western trade, the argument for doing business with such an oppressive and totalitarian regime was that the infiltration of Western culture, business and freedom into China would inevitably lead to liberation of the Chinese people. Over thirty years have passed. What freedom has blossomed? Catholics, including priests and bishops loyal to our Holy Father as well as other Christians and religious sects in China are routinely imprisoned and tortured. Political dissidents and Tibetan nationalists are jailed and tortured. Public executions in stadiums with forced attendance are held. Prisoners are executed so that their organs can be sold. Women are forced to have abortions or be sterilized if they attempt to surpass the government's limit on children. Because boy babies are favored due to their worker potential, many of the girl babies who are born become victims of infanticide, are abandoned, or are sold into the black market for future prostitution. Balance these things with the limited, but increased economic freedom some of the Chinese now have.

There was, we recall, a short rising and hope of freedom eighteen years ago, culminating and crushed in Tiananmen Square. Since that time the Chinese Government has redoubled (successfully from all indications) its efforts to indoctrinate the young people in the Communist ideology.

The Communist Government of China has managed to maintain their oppressive hold on their people by controlling their most basic instincts and rights, the very things which make us most human; that is the rightful worship of God and the procreation of new life — in effect dehumanizing its populace. And the West, which in many quarters agrees with the Chinese government control over procreation and doesn't often care about the worship of God, cannot offer hope to the Chinese because we are indifferent to their plight.  In fact, the West contributes to the dehumanization because Western business leaders only see the Chinese population as a utility to make money through cheaper manufacturing. The West sees the Chinese people the same way the Chinese government does — as tools with no humanity. (Notice this very ideology is the battleground in the US regarding in vitro fertilization, human cloning, and worker issues.)

The "opening of China" to promote freedom in that nation has failed miserably. But instead of admitting that the experiment, which had goodwill in its origins, is a disaster, our nation and the world persists in self-delusion — or is it greed? Opening China to Western business has been good for our economy. We have invested in business and factories. We send our unskilled jobs there so Western consumers can buy cheaper products.

I believe the greatest fear among many US government and business leaders during the "crisis" with China over our downed military plane in 2001 was that a public outcry against China might damage our business investments.

China now exports their culture of death and oppression to us. It is ironic that when the United Nations wanted to hold a conference on women's rights they picked China. During that conference, China population control policies were praised by Western representatives. The US imports the abortion pill, RU486 from China. They export their ideology and death to us and we give them our technology and business. Who does this benefit?

China is gearing up for the 2008 Olympic games, which were awarded to them. Here is another opportunity for China to put forth a good face so the world community can absolve themselves of their guilt while all the time the quiet oppression will continue in the background and long after the games are gone. China is a master at this. For years they release just enough prisoners to ease our conscience just before we grant them most favored nation status. After attaining their goals they go back to business (oppression) as usual. One day we may wake up — if we are able — and find our conscience (and maybe our culture) is gone.

The decision to award the 2008 Olympic Games to China should serve as yet another warning to us and to our culture. This decision, and our general acceptance of it, reveals much about our character as a people. The Olympic Games should be about celebrating freedom, competition, and peace. There is no peace in China. How can there be peace when God is excluded from culture? But as with everything else concerning China, the Olympics are about money, not peace.

Where are the Christians and Christian businessmen to stand in solidarity with our oppressed brethren in China?

The next ten years will either be a decade of great military conflict and destabilization (Iraq, Iran, Israel, N. Korea) or of military conflict coupled with negotiation, resulting in successful stabilization of the Middle East, N. Korea and others. China will stoke the fires of conflict around the world without getting directly involved while they cement their control and the rest of the world's economic dependence on them. The threat in the next several decades is China. That is the true cultural war to come — and if the West doesn't have its cultural virtues in line by the time it comes — we will topple.

Communist Russia was brought down by economics and the moral leadership promoting the dignity of man by John Paul II. Relying only on economics, Communist China may be a tougher challenge because of their population, demographics, and culture.  It is proven now that the present strategy has failed. At the very least, we should not continue on the failed path which permits the leaders in Beijing to buy our souls with money and propaganda. We should redouble our efforts, especially through prayer and fasting to obtain, from our merciful God, relief from suffering for the Chinese people.

Let us pray for the Chinese people tonight!

With these words Mattathias declares war on King Antiochus and the Gentiles. It is approximately 166BC. King Antiochus, one in a line of successors to Alexander the Great, has decreed that all under his rule must practice the culture and worship the gods of the Gentiles, suppressing the Israelites’ worship of the One, True, God.

After refusing to sacrifice to the pagan gods, Mattathias, prefiguring the just anger of Christ when He cleansed the Temple, rushes forward and kills a fellow Jew who is going to make a pagan sacrifice. He then kills the government official who is overseeing the profanation. Mattathias, his sons, and his brethren flee to the mountains.

At this time, it is not Mattathias’s purpose to conquer or even to drive out the Gentiles. He and his family (to be known as the Maccabees) simply desire to practice and live by the Law of their fathers. The Gentiles, however, will not let sleeping dogs lie, much to their own regret.

Other faithful Jews have fled to caves and desert places to practice the faith of their fathers. They are pursued and captured. An old man, Eleazar, suffers an honorable death for not eating unclean food — “for the most venerable and the most holy laws” (2 Mc 6:28). A woman is made to watch her seven sons be skinned and cooked alive because she and her sons will not sacrifice to the pagan gods. Finally, an entire company of families and friends (over 1,000 people) are massacred in the desert plain because they will not sacrifice to the pagan gods and will not defend themselves against the Gentile army on the Sabbath. They say, “Let us die in our innocence” (1 Mc 2:37).

Mattathias and his company hear of this massacre and decide it is now time to fight, saying, “If we shall all do as our brethren have done, and not fight against the heathens for our lives, and our justifications, they will now quickly root us out of the earth” (1 Mc 2:40). Thus begins God’s smashing of the enemies of Israel with His hammer — the Maccabees.

Mattathias leads a small band to go into the towns and to tear down altars built to the pagan gods and to circumcise children — guaranteeing that the holy laws are still alive in the flesh. When he dies, he leaves the army in the capable hands of his third son Judas, surnamed Maccabeus. He leaves his second son Simon to guide the family in the way of wisdom.

Judas leads a larger and larger force to greater and greater victories, often inspiring his men with speeches recalling God’s favor on Israel in ages past. His victories culminate in the restoration of the Temple (Hanukkah commemorates this restoration) which had been desecrated and profaned by King Antiochus.

Judas is finally killed in battle, and his brother Jonathan takes on the military leadership. He also has great victories. When he dies (brothers John and Eleazar have already been killed in battle), the last brother, Simon, leads the armies. He, too, has great victories and reigns over Israel as high priest in peace and prosperity for some years. Simon also is eventually killed by the enemies of Israel.

The actions of the Maccabees and of those martyrs for the Jewish laws are different responses to the same persecution. They are prefigurations of both Christian warriors and Christian martyrs.

The Catholic Ideal of Martyrdom

The word “martyr,” from the Greek martus, literally means “a witness who testifies to a fact of which he has knowledge from personal observation…. The disciples of Christ were no ordinary witnesses such as those who gave testimony in a court of justice”: they gave testimony with their lives (Catholic Encyclopedia, 1917). Eventually the term “Christian martyr” became associated only with those who witnessed to Christ with their blood, as did St. Stephen, the first martyr.

Clearly, by his own words, the old man Eleazar’s purpose is to give witness to the law and die for love of God: “By departing manfully out of life I shall show myself worthy of my old age, and I shall leave an example of fortitude to young men if with a ready mind and constancy I suffer an honorable death, for the most venerable and most holy laws” (2 Mc 6:27-28).

Each of the seven brothers who are cooked alive is a witness to the old covenant laws. We quote the second brother, whose words could very easily be taken from the mouths of so many Christian martyrs, “Thou indeed, O most wicked man, destroy us out of this present life. But the King of the world will raise us up, those who die for His laws, in the resurrection of eternal life” (2 Mc 7:9).

Finally, of these Jewish martyrs, we look again at those families massacred in the desert plain in witness to the law and to the Sabbath. We quote again, “Let us all die in our innocence: and heaven and earth shall be witnesses for us, that you put us to death wrongfully” (1 Mc 2:37). Seventeen hundred years later, the Carthusian monks in London repeated these words, “Let us all die in our innocence!” as they prepared for their own martyrdom at the hands of Henry VIII’s agents. Those Carthusians certainly recognized those Jewish families as their predecessors, as witnesses — as pre-Christian martyrs.

How does this tradition of martyrdom in the face of persecution presented in First and Second Maccabees reconcile with the actions of Mattathias and his sons? Are both “Catholic” responses?

Surely, we know that Christian martyrdom is a long, enduring tradition in Catholicism. As we have seen, the Carthusian martyrs saw themselves in the same role as those brave Jewish families who were massacred on the desert plain by King Antiochus’s army. The Catholic ideal of martyrdom is found in Christ’s words of the Gospel: “He that findeth his life shall lose it and he that shall lose his life for Me shall find it” (Mt 10:39).

It is clear that Mattathias and his sons Judas Maccabeus, John, Simon, Eleazar, and Jonathan did not go out under arms to drive King Antiochus’s army out of Israel simply in order to save their own lives — or even so that they themselves could practice their faith according to the holy laws. They said, “If we shall all do as our brethren have done, and not fight against the heathens for our lives, and our justifications, they will now quickly root us out of the earth.” But the key words here are, “for…our justifications” and “root us out of the earth.” “For…our justifications” refers to the holy laws. The “us” they refer to is not simply themselves, but the people of Israel who worship the True God. In other words, the Maccabees wanted to preserve, not themselves necessarily, but a remnant of God’s people in order that this remnant would practice the holy laws and worship God.

This purpose is borne out by Mattathias’s deathbed instructions to his sons: “Now, therefore, O my sons, be ye zealous for the law, and give your lives for the covenant of your fathers” (1 Mc 2:50). Further, we see by their actions that the Maccabees did not try to make a stronghold to save themselves; they sought to restore worship by driving out paganism and preserving God’s people. To accomplish these things they tore down unclean altars and circumcised children. They risked their lives (and eventually gave those lives) so that their posterity could practice the holy laws.

In the books of Maccabees, we see what happens when these pure objectives are tainted. After seeing the success of Judas Maccabeus, two of Judas’s captains, Joseph and Azarias, tried to make a name for themselves by attacking the Gentiles; they are soundly defeated. God did not protect or give victory to those Israelites with selfish motives.

For the Greater Glory of God

There are many instances in the history of Christendom which are in the example of Judas Maccabeus and his brothers. In 1536 in England, after the courageous Carthusians discussed above had gone “to their deaths as bridegrooms to their marriage” (as Thomas More noted from the Tower); and just after this same Thomas More and Bishop John Fisher had lost their own heads (and gained eternal life) as witnesses to the Faith; there arose in the North Counties of England a movement led by Robert Aske of Yorkshire to defend the monasteries and the religion of their fathers — the Pilgrimage of Grace. These men had fought and died or were imprisoned — like the Maccabees — not for themselves, but to preserve the rightful worship of God, Christ’s Church in England.

In the west of France in 1793 there arose a Catholic army to wage battle against those forces of hell called the French Revolution. This Catholic army, the Vendeans, were ultimately defeated (Warren Carroll comments that perhaps the evils of the French Revolution were too great to be defeated by arms and could only be defeated by prayer), but their purpose was clear: their manifesto declared their object to be “to recover and preserve forever our holy apostolic Catholic religion.” One of the young leaders, 20-year-old Henri, Marquis de la Rochejaquelein, prayed before every battle, “I ask God to take me to Himself — and if I should survive, remain always with me.” Again, in the example of the Maccabees, these Catholic warriors fought not for themselves, but for the greater glory of God — to preserve the faith.

The Crusades are the most famous examples of the just Christian warrior. The crusaders sacrificed years of their lives (if they ever returned at all) so that pilgrims could worship in the Holy Land. The tales of the battles fought by the Knights of Malta and at siege of Szigetvar are examples. Each of these armies waged battle to preserve Christendom and the rightful worship of God. Each of these is also prefigured by the Maccabees.

It is interesting to note that the Jews in the time of Christ were expecting a warrior-Messiah, in part because of the military success of the Maccabees less than 200 years before. However, Christ shows that ultimate victory is found on the Cross and not with the crossbow.

This does not diminish the value and valor of our Christian warriors like Robert Aske and Henri, Marquis de la Rochejaquelein. These men and their companions responded to God’s call according to their own vocations and circumstances. Radical pacifists, who would deny war is ever justified, would also deny these men their rightful place of honor in preserving for us the faith of our fathers. Clearly, God does call Catholic men to arms at times to preserve the right of worship — as clearly God favored the arms of the Maccabees.

And while the Maccabees brothers have much fame, their brethren — the old man Eleazar, the seven brothers, and those who died “in their innocence” on desert plain — should not be counted less than the warrior Maccabees. These pre-Christian martyrs prefigure the London Carthusians, Thomas More, John Fisher and a host of others through the ages. These are men who, in their circumstances, were not called to fight, but to witness by their willingness to die.

The men of the books of Maccabees are of the “Catholic” type — whether they be martyrs or warriors.

Copyright 2005 — Jim Curley

Jim Curley is the founder and publisher of Requiem Press, which publishes books focusing on Catholic history. He writes frequently about Catholic life, culture, and other topics on his blog at http://bethunecatholic.blogspot.com. He and his wife Lorelei are parents of 7 children and live in Bethune, South Carolina. He can be reached at jcurley@requiempress.com.

This article is based on one which originally appeared in the Spring/Summer 2005 issue of Catholic Men’s Quarterly.

This observation comes from homeschooling our own children for the last seven years and from knowing other homeschooling families in our community. The reasons are simple: 1) the children take schooling more seriously if they know that both parents are taking it seriously; and 2) men and women, even when they agree on an issue, often have different perspectives and/or different ways of reaching a conclusion. Thus children benefit from seeing the same worldview through different eyes.

What are the responsibilities of a Catholic homeschooling father? Because each family is different, this is difficult to answer generically. We can say that the responsibilities of homeschooling fathers and every father overlap quite a bit. We will discuss those responsibilities unique to homeschooling, but there are a few fundamental things every father should consider:

We need to spend at least 5 to 30 minutes everyday in meditation or contemplative prayer. We can not live our vocations to it fullest potential without a deep prayer life. “It would be wrong to think that ordinary Christians can be content with a shallow prayer that is unable to fill their whole life” (John Paul II, Novo Millennio Ineunte).

We need to pray every day with our spouses, and have a spiritual friendship with them. Spiritual friendships, because they are centered on the eternal (and not on self or secular common interests), can overcome more easily the stress of daily challenges and disagreements.

We need to ensure that the primary relationship in our household is between Mom and Dad. The children can not run, control, or dictate family life. Spouses need time to continue deepening their friendship and relationship throughout the marriage.

A father must lead the family in prayer. At least at one time every day is minimal, with the recognition that there are some fathers whose work takes them away from the home from time to time. The key point is that he must be demonstrably the spiritual head of the family and play a substantial role in the religious education of the children. In addition to daily prayer, this might mean a once-a-week catechism class with one or more of the older children. Or a mini Bible study at dinner once or twice a week. It can be a nightly reading of Bible stories to the youngsters. In any case, Dad must teach religion at some level on a regular basis.

Because it is a “grave obligation” (Canon 226.2 – 1983 Code of Canon Law) to provide for the education of your children; and because the ultimate goal of education is to lead to the Truth — that is to God; a father must demonstrate to the family that the worship of God and the learning about Him is his priority in life — regardless of where the children spend their schooldays.

Now if you have these basic responsibilities of fatherhood under control, the step into homeschooling responsibilities is not too difficult.

School Principal

Many homeschooling fathers take on the role of “School Principal.” This role gives the father a definite visibility with the children. The principal is the final word (or last resort) in discipline, oversees the progress of the students regularly, and in consultation with Mom sets the budget and curriculum for the school. These responsibilities (discipline, reviewing papers/report cards, and budget/school choices) are simply an extension of what all fathers should be doing. The “Principal” should not just be a figurehead, but active.

Maintaining discipline, especially when you have several children, is critical to a properly functioning household and school. I have a friend who will drive the 40 minutes home from work in the middle of the day to take care of a particularly trying discipline problem. The children know that he is serious about backing up mom’s decisions and punishments. (He doesn’t have to make that drive very often.)

The dinner table is a great place to ask each child in turn what they did or what they learned in school that day. They will be eager for their turn at dad’s undivided attention. The children get the message that dad is interested in the schooling. Mom appreciates that dad takes an interest in her work and is reinforcing this interest with the children.

Even though in most cases mom is doing the bulk of the teaching, dad’s input into curriculum can be very helpful. First, if dad is more familiar with what the children are studying he can more readily review their work and ask questions. But more importantly, dad’s opinions and his experience in the world are relevant in choosing the educational philosophy and actual texts. For one example, because of my life-long interest in history, my involvement selecting books and supplemental readings has helped to make the history classes more alive for both mom and child.

The Teaching Dad

Some fathers have a schedule which allows them to teach one or more subjects. You may have to be creative to come up with the time, but if you can teach a class or two, it is well worth the effort. When my oldest daughter was in her last years of high school, she and I would meet for classes from 6:35AM to 7:30AM four days a week. My daughter had been homeschooled for several years by that time, so she worked independently quite well. For that hour every morning we would discuss her work, try to answer questions, and review upcoming assignments. I would use part of my lunch hour every day to review her work or to get ahead of her in the readings.

When fathers do teach classes, they often take the science and mathematics in the upper grades. This is great. However, if you can manage to teach one of the humanities, especially history or religion to your teenager, do so. Often in those early morning hours with my daughter, we thrashed out the role of governments, the meaning of the Mass, our visions of heaven, and many other topics. You and your child will never forget these discussions, (and you may finally get to read some of the classic works of history which your own education lacked).

The greatest gift a father can give to his children is for him to love God and then to love his wife. The father must teach virtue by example. He cannot teach his children anything unless he listens to them. He guides his children, not so much with lectures, but with questions — questions which will lead to eternal truths. The Catholic homeschooling father in partnership with his wife takes on a grave obligation instead of delegating it to others. This obligation is full of joy and rewards for both parents and children.

Jim Curley is the founder and publisher of Requiem Press, which publishes books focusing on Catholic history. He writes frequently about Catholic life, culture, and other topics on his blog at http://bethunecatholic.blogspot.com. He and his wife Lorelei are parents of 7 children and live in Bethune, South Carolina. He can be reached at jcurley@requiempress.com.

This article originally appeared in the Summer, 2005 issue of Heart and Mind magazine.

We finished it a couple of weeks ago. We saved the final chapter for when our oldest daughter came home from college for the summer.

The final chapter in the book is called “Cor Unum” (One Heart). It is the name the Trapps chose for their family home in Vermont. Here is how it came about:

One day last year we felt very strongly that our home had to be given a name. We all sat down together and tried to work it out right away. At first, it seemed to turn into one of those evenings where you can't stop laughing. The lines got funnier and sillier all the time: “Snowplow's Turn”, “Musical Tavern,” “Heaven's Lobby,” “The Lord's View.” An old Chinese proverb says: “Every minute you laugh prolongs your life an hour.” If this is true…

Father Wasner, who had joined us, finally said: “The new name should have a meaning. It should stand for what the place wants to be.”

That made us serious again, and it made us contemplate: what does the place want to be?

Father opened his Latin copy of the New Testament, and his eyes fell on the words of the Acts of the Apostles which describe the life of the first Christians in Jerusalem: “They were one heart and one soul” — “COR UNUM ET ANIMA UNA.”

This Father Wasner read aloud to us, and there was a great silence. It was the answer to what we had been looking for: our new name and our new motto.

After reading this, we started to think about naming our own home. We had moved out to the country some nine months before. Our “new” country home with its two acres, beautiful sunsets seen across the bordering corn fields, our chickens, dogs, and emerging gardens was a sort of dream come true for all of us. We knew God’s blessings were upon us.

We discussed naming our home right then and there — and then some more at subsequent meals and family gatherings. As with the Trapps, the conversation got sillier and sillier. It seemed that the “The Filling Station” was becoming the leading candidate.

I tried to bring sanity back by repeating Fr. Wasner's instructions from the book: “The new name should have a meaning. It should stand for what the place wants to be.” Yet we couldn't get past “The Filling Station.” (“But, Dad we fill our stomachs, our brains, and our spirit here!”) While this argument had some merit — it still didn't have the dignity of a name for our home.

A few days later we had our pastor, Fr. John, over to the house for a meal and to bless our house. In the course of conversation he suddenly asked me if we had given our home a name. When I answered in the negative, he said we should think about it, as the home “deserved a name.”

A week later (still without a name), after serving Mass, my 8-year-old son asked Fr. John for a suggestion on naming our home.

Fr. John replied, “Bethany — it was in Bethany that Jesus found a family home of welcoming friends in Martha, Mary, and Lazarus. Bethany is a good name for a home that always welcomes our Lord.”

I think this is what our home “wants to be”: a place which always welcomes our Lord — even if we fail sometimes in this goal.

June is the month dedicated to honoring the Sacred Heart of Jesus (feast June 3). Many Catholic families enthrone (or renew the enthronement of) the Sacred Heart of Jesus in their homes as the Lord and King.

This year we will renew our enthronement of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in our new home, “Bethany,” and also in our hearts. May our home and our hearts always have their doors open to Christ!

Copyright 2005 Jim Curley

Jim Curley is the founder and publisher of Requiem Press, which publishes books focusing on Catholic history. He writes frequently about Catholic life, culture, and other topics on his blog at http://bethunecatholic.blogspot.com. He and his wife Lorelei are parents of seven children and live in Bethune, South Carolina. He can be reached at jcurley@requiempress.com.

The Holy Shroud is purported to be the burial cloth of Christ. A life-size image of a victim of crucifixion in the manner prescribed in the Gospels is contained on the cloth. The origin of the Holy Shroud is controversial as some scientific evidence, most notably the Carbon-14 dating results of 1988, have “disproved” the ancient origin of this cloth. Recent news stories create new doubts about the accuracy of those test results. There is other scientific evidence which supports a first-century origin of this cloth. Because of the conflicting evidence and many new theories, some suggest more tests should be performed.

Investigations conducted on the Holy Shroud with state-of-the-art technology have failed to show definitively how the image on the cloth was formed. The image of the crucified man is not painted and resides only on the topmost layer of fibers in the cloth; while stains of the blood of a human male at the side, hands, feet and head of the image penetrate the cloth. Remarkably, the photographic negatives of the image are actually a positive image, which reveal a more detailed view of the crucified man and his torture.

Exposition of the Holy Shroud normally occurs only during Jubilee years. However there was also an exposition in 1998 to commemorate the anniversary of the Holy Shroud’s arrival in Turin. Our Holy Father, John Paul II, venerated the Shroud during the 1998 exposition.

Fortunately I was in Italy on business during the Jubilee Exposition and made reservations to venerate the Holy Shroud for the morning of September 6th in San Giovanni de Baptiste Cathedral. I have been an avid follower of the scientific and historical studies concerning the Holy Shroud since graduate school and have read numerous books and scientific papers studying the historical and scientific issues concerning this cloth.

The pilgrimage began with a walk through palace gardens, which called the pilgrims to silence and prayer. A short video presentation in 5 languages ensued which detailed the major features of the Holy Shroud. The pilgrims then proceeded past a raised image of the Shroud especially prepared for the blind. As we approached the Cathedral, numerous prints commemorating past expositions were displayed. Finally we entered the Cathedral and were led to the Holy Shroud. I knelt 6-10 feet from the Holy Shroud and prayed for the wisdom to understand more fully the sacrifice and suffering of God for man.

Each group of pilgrims was to venerate the Shroud from this vantage-point for approximately 5 minutes before the guides moved us along. However as my group and the following several groups were very small, I managed to remain for some time after the allotted 5 minutes elapsed.

Exiting the Cathedral we were allowed to re-enter the Church in the rear and venerate the Shroud at some distance for as long as we wanted. There I prayed for the soul of my father who had passed away in the previous year and all of my departed loved ones.

At the end of the pilgrimage, two temporary chapels had been set up — one for Eucharistic Adoration and another for the Sacrament of Penance, available in any of 12 languages. I availed myself the opportunity for both.

I then proceeded to the Holy Shroud museum several blocks away, where I was able to see some of the original photographic plates and the camera from the first photograph of the Shroud — when the remarkable “negative” discovery was made. Also, replicas of the scourging instruments used by Romans in the first century and matched to the wounds on the Shroud were displayed. Many other items relating to the known and speculative history and the scientific studies concerning the Holy Shroud were exhibited.

I was drawn back to the Cathedral to pray in front of the Holy Shroud again. Making my way back to my hotel, I made visits at some seven Jubilee Churches, including St. Therese, St. Lawrence, and the Church of the Holy Martyrs. These churches, though small, were more magnificent in décor than any Church I have found in America.

The true origin of the Holy Shroud may never be definitively proven or known. However, regardless of what science proves, the message of the Holy Shroud remains spiritual. I knelt in awe of this portrayal of the sacrificial love of God for man. What love has been given us; what love do we return?

Copyright 2005 Jim Curley

Jim Curley is the founder and publisher of Requiem Press, which publishes books focusing on Catholic history. He writes frequently about Catholic life, culture, and other topics on his blog at http://bethunecatholic.blogspot.com. He and his wife Lorelei are parents of 7 children and live in Bethune, SC. He can be reached at jcurley@requiempress.com.

With these thoughts in mind, our family decided to try a little Christmas caroling several years ago on Christmas Eve. This endeavor was not undertaken without some trepidation. We are not in any sense performance-level singers. There was much discussion and debate about the logistics. Should we, for instance, ring the doorbell before we started singing, or should we just sing at the top of our lungs until someone noticed? If we decided the latter, how long should we sing before deciding that either no one was home or that they couldn’t hear us? How many songs should we sing at each house once we were noticed? These and other questions were answered before going out, but often changed as situations warranted.

That first time out we caroled mostly in our immediate neighborhood. It was an evening of rich reward. However, we did sing at one vacant house for about 10 minutes before deciding that no one was home. After this we made sure to ring the doorbell. We began at each house with “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” and ended each set with “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” We mixed in “Adeste Fideles” (“Oh Come All Ye Faithful”), “Joy to the World,” “Silent Night” and other favorites.

The joy experienced both by us and by the people whose homes we visited was remarkable. Faces beamed. This was a joy not brought by us, but by the Christ Child, Whom we announced. While we were all self-conscious at first, this was overcome by the message.

My two oldest sons were both so moved that they wanted to go out caroling again on Christmas day. One family we visited joined us in caroling the following year. The next year we went caroling with three other families. This past year we had six or seven families with us. We caroled and then came home for hot chocolate and cookies by the fire. Needless to say, Christmas caroling has become a Christmas Eve tradition at our house.

This year we face a new challenge. We have moved from the city to the country since last Christmas Eve. We don’t live in a neighborhood anymore. Our neighbors are too far away to walk to. But Christmas caroling has become such a part of our Christmas celebration, that we will find a way to herald Christ’s birth in the “public square.”

Society has placed God behind closed doors. The opportunity to bring His message “to the streets” (albeit in such a minor way), gives a joyous start to our Christmas celebration. It is not often we can emulate the activities of angels: why not bring Christ to your neighbors this Christmas Eve with your family?

Jim Curley is the founder and publisher of Requiem Press, which publishes books focusing on Catholic history. He writes frequently about Catholic life, culture, and other topics on his blog at http://bethunecatholic.blogspot.com. He and his wife Lorelei are parents of 7 children and live in Bethune, SC. He can be reached at jcurley@requiempress.com.