Working at the family restaurant was a great experience.  Aside from the strong work ethic and family values that my Dad instilled in all of his employees, I learned a lot about people.  There is much to learn about human nature when people are hungry and in a hurry.

The Village Luncheonette opened punctually Monday through Saturday at 7:30 a.m.  On Saturdays and all summer, I would arrive early in the morning with my Dad in order to get the place ready for business.  Coffee had to be brewed; the grill had to be heated up; the little milk pitchers had to be set out on the counter.

Like clockwork, the customers were at the door at 7:30 a.m.  The first morning crowd consisted mostly of the dedicated crew that worked for Larry Jacoby, a local home builder.  However, mixed in with the crew were all sorts of other interesting people.  Among them was Mike Lapore.

You can imagine what the place was like at 7:30 a.m… very quiet.  You could hear a pin drop.  My Dad was in the small kitchen, located at the back of the restaurant, preparing the lunch menu for later in the day.  Sherry, an industrious waitress, was working the grill.  I was at the counter.  The groggy customers were yet to come alive.

Every morning, as if it were a ritual, my Dad would place two or three copies of the New York Daily News on the counter for the reading pleasure of the customers.  The newspapers had been purchased on the drive to work.  I understand that Squashes, the local newspaper store, is still an important part of the quaint, small town atmosphere of Ridgefield, Connecticut.

Mike was retired from something.  I can’t remember.  He would always be at the restaurant every morning at 7:30 AM for his coffee and breakfast.  He would sit quietly at the very end of the counter, close to the kitchen, reading a copy of the New York Daily News.  The whole place would be totally silent.

This was the late 1960’s and 1970’s.  Cities were being burnt down.  Riots were taking place on college campuses.  These were the years of Vietnam.  The country was in turmoil.

From time to time Mike, with his characteristic Brooklyn accent, would yell out, piercing through the early morning silence as he read the headlines: “Sal, it’s the end of the world!”  Sooner or later my Dad would emerge from the kitchen and he and Mike would begin arguing with Larry Jacoby, who was quite liberal in his politics.

Mike hated New York City Mayor John Lindsey with a passion.  He would go on and on.  My Dad would nod with approval.  Larry would argue.  And so went the early mornings in a small town family restaurant.

If Mike were alive today I wonder what he would say about the presidency of Barack Obama?  The very ideas that inspired the leftist radicals of the 1960’s and the 1970’s to burn down cities and destroy college campuses are the same ideas that make up Obama’s ideology.  Yes, Obama is the embodiment of that same movement of Marxists-Socialists that hate America and kill babies through abortion on demand.

The world did not end in the 1960’s and the 1970’s.  Hopefully it will not come to an end just yet.  But, without a doubt, Barack Obama is putting the nails in the coffin of the country that we all love.

The killing of innocent babies through abortion will continue.  The gay agenda will flourish.  The economy will continue to be in turmoil. How can a country be productive if it has become so immoral and corrupt?   Islam will persist as a continual threat.

The world that we once knew is ending.  The world  of growing up in small towns and in small restaurants;  the world of hard work, family values, Sunday church and vibrant neighborhoods are, for the most part, something of the American past.

So, what are we supposed to do about this mess?

Today, Mike Lapore might sit down at my Dad’s restaurant, drink his coffee, eat his breakfast and argue with Larry, but it is too comfortable merely to complain.

We need doers, people of action.

When Barack Obama became our president, I never expected to see a Tea Party Movement and Town Hall meetings.  I never thought that talk radio, Fox News and the Internet would have such an impact.   This much is very positive; we do have a voice. However, we can be even more effective if you and I focus on our local communities.  We still can build strong families, lively neighborhoods, vibrant churches, honest places of work and quality schools.

We still can close down local abortion clinics and provide assistance to unwed mothers who are caught in the trap of a crisis pregnancy.

We still can promote traditional values by living those values in our daily lives.

I remember Mike Lapore.  He was alarmed about what was going on many years ago.  I, too, am alarmed by what went on then and what is going on today.  I am determined to keep on fighting the good fight.  I hope that all of you never will be discouraged.

Why do our people call us “Father ?” We are married to the Church. The Church is our bride. The priest is another Christ (alter Christus) , who gives his life as a gift to the bride.

Celibacy is a special gift from the Holy Spirit, a charism. It is a beautiful gift for the Church. When he is faithful to his calling, the celibate priest, in and through his body; i.e., through his very physical reality, is a sign or a witness not only of his total gift of himself to his bride, the Church, but he is also physically, through his body, pointing the way to the eschatological reality of eternal life. “For when they rise from the dead, men and women do not marry; no, they are like the angels in heaven” (Mark 12: 25).

Eternity is not only perfect communion with God it is also perfect communion with all men and women in the communion of saints. The charism of celibacy is a sign or an anticipation of this eschatological reality. Through the gift of celibacy, the human person is able to immerse himself in a fulfilling communion with God and with humanity here on earth.

The priest gives his entire being to God in the covenant of spiritual marriage. When a celibate priest develops a profound life of contemplative prayer and reaches the heights of mystical prayer, the joys of the spirit become much greater than the joys of the flesh.

Thus the sacraments of holy matrimony and holy orders complement each other in the mystery of divine love. The priest gives his entire being to God in the covenant of spiritual marriage. He then takes bread and wine, and pronounces the words of Jesus: This is my body and this is my blood given for you. A man and a woman called to the covenant of marriage stand before the altar of sacrifice and give themselves to each other as a gift: this is my body and this is my blood given for you .

As I wrote in my new book, Man to Man: A Real Priest Speaks to Real Men about Marriage, Sexuality and Family Life , “t he faithful celibate reminds married couples that love is eternal. Faithful married couples remind celibates that love is tender. ”

At the beginning of his pontificate, Pope John Paul II spent a long time speaking about marriage and sexuality. His discourses, (129 teachings from September 5, 1979 – November 28, 1984), comprise a monumental teaching called The Theology of the Body . Without a doubt, John Paul’s Theology of the Body will be considered the most profound and most complete teaching on the subject in the years to come.

In the arrangement of discourses by the Holy Father, we find that before the pontiff treats the sacrament of marriage, he first discusses celibacy for the kingdom of heaven. Why is this so? According to the amazing insight of John Paul II, we can only understand marriage by understanding celibacy. Maybe you never thought of celibacy in this way!

In Heaven we will participate in the awesome mystery of the marriage of the Lamb. This reality is the fulfillment of both the charism of celibacy and the vocation of matrimony. The sacrament of marriage is an image or a reflection of this mystery lived out here on earth. The charism of celibacy is an anticipation of the heavenly marriage lived out here on earth as a charismatic sign. Celibacy is lived as an anticipation of the world to come. It is celibacy that witnesses to married people that their marriage here on earth is an image of a heavenly reality, because the celibate makes present to them the eschatological reality in which all will live in heaven. The priest gives his entire being to God in the covenant of spiritual marriage. When a celibate priest develops a profound life of contemplative prayer and reaches the heights of mystical prayer, the joys of the spirit become much greater than the joys of the flesh.

This is not a rejection of the good of the priest’s bodily masculine existence! Far from it – it is a fulfillment of all it means to be a man. Always remember the awesome reality that heaven is not just for the soul. The resurrection of the body is going to be really amazing. With the advent of the Second Coming, heaven is going to be for us an eternal physical reality.

These were the thoughts I had in mind when I wrote my Man to Man — a helpful and practical book with a very inspirational message. You all know that as men – priests and laymen alike — we are constantly being challenged by a crazy and dysfunctional world. Now, more than ever, the Church and the world need men who are willing to be faithful, authentic, mature, coherent, and heroic. Al Hughes, age 69 and a retired air force lieutenant colonel – a real man’s man – had this to say about my book: "If I had read this book 50 years ago, I would be levitating and bilocating by now."

I’m not promising you that if you read my book you will be floating above ground, but I do promise that if you read it and apply what I have to say to you – man to man – you will be rising far above the culture that surrounds us. And you will conclude that, yes, a priest does know something about marriage.

For Father Albert Cutié to wind up on a local beach with a woman and carry on like a college student on spring break only indicates that he lost it sometime before his scandalous behavior took place. Father should have recognized his problem and either gotten help or quietly left the ministry.

In the past, Father Alberto Cutié has been publicly critical of a celibate-only priesthood. Moreover, he has said that the Church is too obsessed about sex and that God looks on the entire human person without taking into consideration the morality of sexual behavior.

Although Father has publicly apologized for his actions and claims that he is not promoting a married clergy, he needs to stop being interviewed on television. He should go away quietly: leave the priesthood or go on retreat. Every man who is ordained to the Roman Catholic priesthood in the Latin Rite knows that the charism of celibacy is part of the deal. The Latin Rite Church selects candidates for the priesthood from celibate men.

Celibacy is a special gift from the Holy Spirit. It is called a charism. It is a beautiful gift for the Church. The celibate priest, in and through his body; i.e., through his very physical reality, is a sign or a witness not only of his total gift of himself to his bride, the Church, but he is also physically, through his body, pointing the way to the eschatological reality of eternal life. “For when they rise from the dead, men and women do not marry; no, they are like the angels in heaven” (Mark 12: 25).

Eternity is not only perfect communion with God it is also perfect communion with all men and women in the communion of saints. The charism of celibacy is a sign or an anticipation of this eschatological reality. Through the gift of celibacy, the human person is able to immerse himself in a fulfilling communion with God and with humanity here on earth.

The priest gives his entire being to God in the covenant of spiritual marriage. In the Mass, he takes bread and wine, and pronounces the words of Jesus: This is my body and this is my blood given for you. In turn, he then gives himself totally and unconditionally to his bride: This is my body and this is my blood given for you.

Father Alberto’s scandalous behavior has caused an explosion of debate and controversy: “Father is simply human”.

Yes, Father Alberto is human, but coherent human behavior requires maturity, authenticity and a well-formed conscience. His present actions are only confusing millions of his cult-like admirers. His continuous interviews are giving ammunition to the Church’s enemies to attack the priesthood.

Major scandals should not call into question the Church’s stand on priestly celibacy. Only the superficial and the immature will go there. However, we need to ask some hard questions.

What tools are given to Catholic seminarians so that they may properly discern if they really do have the charism of celibacy? What kind of spiritual formation are they being given in order to live out a deep spiritual life when they become priests? What support does a Bishop give to his priests? What support do priests give to each other? What support do parishioners give to their priest?

My long experience has shown me that there are serious deficiencies in all of these areas.

How many bishops have lunch or dinner with their priests? How many priests reach out to their brothers? How many parishioners remember their priests at Christmas time, the anniversary of their ordination, or on their birthday?

How do we honestly expect a normal heterosexual man to live out the charism of celibacy with fidelity and elegance in this hedonistic world left on his own?

For the most part, celibacy is like the elephant in the room.

Is it really true that many priests in Latin America and the Philippines have children and grandchildren? How extensive is this problem here at home? If there really is a huge problem, then the Church needs to get real: let’s fix the problem with good formation, holy bishops, holy priests and strong community life among bishops and priests.

But, let’s not ignore the elephant in the room.

People should not be surprised that for many priests, the charism of celibacy is lived out within normal struggles and difficulties. Sexual and emotional integration does not happen in a vacuum. Years of formation and asceticism will equip a celibate priest to live out his priestly vocation with joy and enthusiasm. But, chastity is a struggle for everyone, even for those who are married.

Original innocence was lost by Adam and Eve. The human person will never have complete control of the psychic, sexual and emotional dimensions of his existence. There will always be some kind of a thorn in the flesh to deal with. Grace and years of struggle allow for transformation to take place. But, there will always be a struggle. Only the eschatological man will experience total bodily integration.

If a priest has a problem, he needs to get help. Spiritual direction, counseling, retreats, therapy and sabbatical programs are readily available for those who are honest about their virtues and vices.

But, in the case of Father Alberto, his superiors should have already corrected his public pronouncements about sexuality and celibacy. The Church should have suspected that something ambiguous was hiding behind the mask of Father Alberto’s cult-like popularity. Once again, just like in other scandals, someone was asleep at the switch and another train wreck has occurred.

Finally, it would be unfair to Fr. Alberto to compare his situation to homosexual abusers. That would be like comparing apples and oranges. Father’s struggle is with sin and commitment. The abuser is guilty of a terrible crime. However, both situations must be dealt with firmly and quickly by Church authorities.

And here lies the root of the problem. Bishops need to shepherd their priests. They need to know who they are. They need to pray with them. They need to eat with them. They need to listen and talk to them. They need to form a true brotherhood with them. If Bishops and priests learn to live and work together as true Christian brothers, the Church will once again flourish and scandalous behaviors will be replaced by a spring time of holiness.

The disbelief and uncertainty evidenced by those who saw him testify to an apparent strangeness in the appearance of the newly risen Christ.  Slowly they came to recognize him, but they still struggled with doubt.  Their response shows us that although the risen Jesus is the same Jesus that died on Calvary; his physical reality is now different than before.  The body of the risen Lord is indeed his physical body, but he now moves about with a glorified body.

Repeatedly the gospels stress that something extraordinary has occurred.  The Lord is tangible, but he has been transformed.  His life is different from what it once was.  His glorified body transcends the limitations of time and space.  For this reason, he can pass through the closed door of the Upper Room, and appear and disappear as he desires.  At times his disciples cannot recognize him precisely because their physical reality moves within time and space, and the Lord’s physical reality is no longer subject to time and space, although he exists within time and space.

The clarity of the physical reality of the risen Jesus provides us with the certainty of the existence of the Lord and the veracity of everything that he has taught us.  The empty tomb and the neatly folded burial cloths illustrate that redemption is not only for the soul, but for the body as well.

Applied to our practical daily living, the reality of the Risen Jesus fills us with profound peace.  There is no need to worry or to fear.  He is truly with us.  With Jesus, we know that we are journeying, not to the sunset, but to the sunrise.  We enter into a new relationship with God when we really believe that God is as Jesus told us that he is.  We become absolutely sure of his love.  We become absolutely convinced that he is above all else a redeeming God.  The fear of suffering and death vanishes, for suffering and death means going to the one God who is the awesome God of love.  In reality, our life long journey is a journey to the eternal Easter in Heaven.

When we truly believe, we enter into a new relationship with life itself.  When we make Jesus our way of life, life becomes new.  Life is clad with a new loveliness, a new light and a new strength. When we embrace Jesus as our Lord and Savior, when we develop a personal relationship with him, we realize that life does not end, it changes and it goes from incompletion to completion, from imperfection to perfection, from time to eternity.

When we truly believe in Jesus, we are resurrected in this life because we are freed from the fear and worry that are characteristic of a godless life; we are freed from the unhappiness of a life filled with sin; we are freed from the loneliness of a life without meaning.  When we walk with Jesus and follow his way, life becomes so powerful that it cannot die but must find in death the transition to a higher life.

The bodily resurrection of Jesus from the dead makes our entire journey to eternal life tangible, real, certain, and credible.  Because Jesus is physically alive, his Church is visible.  Because Jesus is corporeal, the sacraments are visible aqueducts of his divine life.  Because Jesus physically transcends time and space, he remains with us in the Eucharist as the "medicine of immortality" (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1405). Because Jesus has truly risen from the dead and ascended to the Father, we await with joyful hope his return in glory.

We are creatures, created by God. We are sinners, limited human beings, in constant need of redemption. As Pope Benedict put it: “We are limited creatures, sinners in constant need of penance and conversion. How important it is, in our own time, to listen to and accept this call!” (Italics mine.)

The Obstacle is Pride

As we look at the condition of our modern world, it is clear that most people have declared their autonomy from God. Pope Benedict again: “When he proclaims his complete autonomy from God, modern man becomes self-enslaved, and often finds himself tormented and alone. Can real happiness exist without God?”

The Call to Conversion

God must be the priority of our lives. How do we demonstrate that He is the priority of our lives? We demonstrate it by concrete acts that destroy pride and replace it with the virtue of humility.

1. Obedience to His holy will — do His will and not our own — this is humility. When we consider Jesus in the garden and seek to make His prayer our own, “Let Thy will, not mine, be done.”

2. Life of prayer -– “God help me” –- to seek His help is an act of humilty. People who are self-sufficient and independent do not feel a need for God in their lives. They are also profoundly out of touch with the stark reality of their great need.

3. Make good use of the sacrament of confession — “Bless me Father for I have sinned” — this, too is an act of humily.

Pope Benedict: “The call to conversion is, then, an encouragement to return to the arms of God the tender and merciful Father, to trust in him, and to entrust ourselves to him as adoptive children regenerated by his love”.

Please, return to God this Lent.

This Wednesday, we begin one of the most practical times of the Catholic liturgical year. Lent provides us an opportunity to open our personal maintenance schedule and take a close look at ourselves as we journey towards eternal life.

The spiritual life is not an easy endeavor because of our wounded human nature. True, Baptism washes away original sin, but we do not have complete control over ourselves. St. Paul brilliantly describes this continual battle. He portrays this conflict as an inward struggle (Romans 7: 14-25), a treasure in a vessel of clay (2 Corinthians 4: 7-18), and a thorn in the flesh (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10).

Because of original sin, an inner force will always move us in the wrong direction. Continual effort is necessary to control the inner movement of our ego, and allow the presence of grace to take control of our thoughts, desires and actions. The battle of the spiritual life is like walking in a river against the current. If we do not continue to walk or grab on to a rock, the current will carry us in the opposite direction. Lent provides us with an excellent opportunity to strengthen ourselves so that we can keep walking against the current.

A successful Lent requires us to develop a serious plan of action. Our program should consist of both the general practices that the Catholic Church requires of everyone, and our own particular Lenten program.

As a general practice for all Catholics, the Church requires that we fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. We are also asked to abstain from meat on Ash Wednesday and all Fridays of Lent.

Aside from what the Church law of fast and abstinence requires of us, we should come up with a personal program for spiritual growth. This is our personal maintenance program. I have always recommended that we come up with something negative and something positive.

By something negative, I mean that each person should commit themselves to giving up something or a number of things. This sacrifice should be serious and demanding. The self-control that we exercise in giving up a legitimate pleasure strengthens our will and curbs the inclinations of our passions.

By something positive, I mean that each one should also do some kind of act that we would not normally do on a regular basis. Attending daily Mass, visiting the sick, volunteering time at the parish or praying a Sunday evening Rosary with the entire family are positive acts of virtue that have helped many people progress in their relationship with God.

Lenten practices of penance have great benefits for our spiritual lives. A serious Lent will be like a spring cleaning which will purify the clutter that has accumulated in our souls. A serious commitment to penance will also help us to conquer addictions, obsessions and compulsive behavior. A serious Lent will purify our soul and allow us to experience a deeper interior freedom.

As we approach the beginning of another Lent, we should carefully examine our lives. Usually we focus on carefully examining our sins, but do we ever consider the sins of omission? Do we honestly consider what we are not doing?

One way to break the cycle of apathy is to bring into your Lent an apostolic dimension. This can be done by making two firm commitments: pray the Rosary at your local abortion clinic and target one person that does not have a church home. Invite that person to your parish.

Moreover, it would be very powerful if we would offer up our fast, abstinence, Lenten sacrifices and our weekly Stations of the Cross to the Lord as of way of ending abortion and bringing souls back to the Church.

Do not wait until Ash Wednesday to come up with your Lenten program. Decide today what you are going to do. Parents should sit down with their children and make sure that they too have come up with a serious plan of action. Have a family meeting tonight and decide together to make this Lent the best Lent ever. Meet as a family every Sunday during Lent and review your program. Be accountable to each other. If you make this a great Lent you will notice the difference on Easter Sunday.

Most people in our country have good jobs. They are successful and enterprising in their endeavors. It is safe to say that our country is a nation comprised of a people, for the most part, who are professional in what they do.

As we usher in a new year, wouldn’t be nice if we were professional in our relationships with Jesus? Wouldn’t be nice if we were to put the same efforts we put into our educations and our jobs into our spiritual lives?

What is it that keeps people from being professional in their relationship with the Lord? The answer can be found in one of the seven deadly sins and that sin is sloth.

Sloth is a disease of the will.

What happens to the individual ruled by sloth? People controlled by sloth don’t get anything accomplished. People controlled by sloth are targets for every temptation the devil has to offer. They just lie there on the ground like cow manure covered with flies. Flies can’t stick to something that is moving fast. And people ruled by sloth have a really hard time getting into Heaven. They are too lazy to live out the demands of the Gospel.

If sloth is a problem for you, what can you do to get rid of it?

First of all, you have to have purpose in life. Once you have figured out your purpose in life, you can fulfill the duties that are part of your state in life. Are you single? Are you married? Are you consecrated to God? Your state in life carries with it certain duties and obligation. Fulfill those duties with maturity, coherence, authenticity and perfection.

Second, you need to have a strong will. Remember that sloth has been defined as a disease of the will. So, it is going to be important to clean up the will by making it strong. Make your bed with perfection every morning; polish your shoes; dress correctly; be punctual for church and your daily appointments; and keep your room neat tidy.

A sturdy and consistent spiritual life is essential. We have to stay connected to the Lord. He will give us strength and fill us with peace. The regular use of the sacrament of confession is essential. We need to stay spiritually alive. And when it comes to sin, we all get bent out of shape about the bad things that we do, but how many of us are concerned about the good things that we don’t do because of laziness, tepidity and apathy?

Here is a challenge for the new year. Write out a personal program for self-improvement. Take a few moments to analyze your good points and your weaknesses. Figure out what you can do to make this new year the best year of your life. Develop a business plan for your spiritual life and stick to it.

Life is a struggle and it always will be, but I have never had a problem with sloth. In fact I would prefer to have dinner with a bunch of atheists rather than a bunch of apathetic and spiritually dead individuals. At least the discussion with the atheists would be exciting and engaging. We need to be excited about Jesus and His Church. We need to be excited about getting to Heaven and bringing others with us. We need to be excited about making this world a better place for everyone. We need to be professional Catholics. This is called personal holiness.

Don’t let sloth ruin your chance of living a life filled with joy. Happy New Year!

We all have wonderful memories of how we have celebrated Christmas in the past. On this Christmas, we will relive those memories, create new ones, and cherish our fondest memories in the recesses of our hearts. The joy and excitement of opening Christmas presents; sampling the delicious foods and deserts that our mothers and grandmothers prepared; decorating the tree; setting up the manger scene; singing Christmas carols; and of course, the gathering of family members and friends, all make up the wonderful memories of Christmas.

I have many beautiful memories of Christmases past. From early childhood, I remember how our entire family always attended Christmas morning Mass at our parish. Inevitably, somewhere along in the liturgy, the choir would sing Silent Night. As the beautiful hymn filled the church with harmony, my grandmother would begin to weep uncontrollably. Once, as a child, I asked my grandmother why she wept. “God loves us so much,” was her immediate answer.

This Christmas memory of my grandmother fills me with sadness at times, but then I remember how she died just a few years ago. As she lay in bed taking her last breath, she said, “Dear God, I love you”. I am sure that now in heaven she contemplates the eternal face of the God made man born in Bethlehem.

Gerard Manley Hopkins in his poem, The Blessed Virgin Compared to the Air We Breathe meditates on this mystery.

Of her flesh He took flesh:
He does take fresh and flesh,
Though much the mystery how,
Not flesh but spirit now
And makes, O marvelous!
New Nazareth in us,
Where she shall yet conceive
Him, morning, noon, and eve;
New Bethlehems, and He born
There, evening, noon, and morn –
Bethlehem or Nazareth,
Men here may draw like breath
More Christ and baffle death;
Who, born so, comes to be
New self and nobler me
In each one and each one
More makes, when all is done,
Both God’s and Mary’s Son.

And so each Christmas we contemplate the mystery of our God Who became man. He is born in silence, poverty, simplicity and purity in Bethlehem, the house of bread. Our God made man later taking bread and wine transforms it into His body and blood; thus is the mystery of His Incarnation continued for us in the mystery of the Eucharist, God made real for us.

God becomes man. Bread and wine become God-man. Each time we come to the Eucharist, we come to a new Bethlehem. He, who rested once in a manger, now rests in our entire being, as we receive Him in the mystery of the Mass.

Christmas is a special time of joy for all of us. But, for me, there is the added joy of celebrating my vocation to the Catholic priesthood. I was ordained on December 24, 1987, the morning of Christmas Eve. I celebrated my first Mass on Christmas morning, at the Basilica of St. Mary Major in Rome, Italy. How grateful I am that God has called me to be His priest, and yet, what an overwhelming and demanding responsibility!

To be faithful today in whatever vocation we have been given is not an easy enterprise. We live in very challenging times.

We live in a time of war, continual threats of terrorism and a world-wide financial melt-down. The predictable consequences of the election of a radical pro-abortion, socialist as our next president have many concerned. Recently Pope Benedict XVI voiced a warning concerning the on-going international efforts of the homosexual movement to blur and confuse the differences between the genders of male and female. Added to all of these challenges, many families suffer from serious difficulties, problems and dysfunction.

Now more than ever is the time for us to turn to Jesus. He is the Way. He is the Truth. He is the Life. “I proclaim to you good news of great joy; today a Savior is born for us, Christ the Lord” (Alleluia, Mass at Midnight).

Jesus wants us to have life. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to have the best possible life here on earth. He wants to fill us with his divine life, sanctifying grace, so that we may enter into his joy. He wants us to experience his peace. He wants us to be with him in eternal life in heaven. He only wants the best for us.

This is why he wants us to open our hearts to him and let him enter in.

Have no fear of allowing Jesus to enter into your life. Do not fear the most exciting, most joyful, and the most powerful relationship known to the human person.

“So often today man does not know what is within him, in the depths of his mind and heart. So often he is uncertain about the meaning of his life on this earth. He is assailed by doubt, a doubt which turns into despair. We ask you therefore, we beg you with humility and trust, let Christ speak to man. He alone has words of life, yes, of eternal life” (Pope John Paul the Great, homily, October 22, 1978).

However, if we live as autonomous beings as though God does not exist; if we immerse ourselves in the murky mist of blinding secularism, relativism and materialism; if we reject the need for the Sacrament of Confession; if we reject certain aspects of Church teaching; if we live uncommitted, slothful, ignorant and mediocre lives; we will be unable to recognize our need for a Savior and we will never experience joy and hope, precisely because we will never experience fully the God of love and mercy.

What would our lives be like if Jesus had not been born? Christmas is all about the Savior who came to save us from sin. We need to open our minds and our hearts and allow this Savior to change our lives.

“The medieval theologian William of Saint Thierry once said that God — from the time of Adam — saw that his grandeur provoked resistance in man, that we felt limited in our own being and threatened in our freedom. Therefore God chose a new way. He became a child. He made himself dependent and weak, in need of our love. Now — this God who has become a child says to us — you can no longer fear me, you can only love me” (Pope Benedict XVI, Midnight Mass Homily, December 25, 2005).

When Richard was nine years old, his ordinary life changed forever. Richard was diagnosed with polio. The disease left him completely paralyzed. His paralysis was so severe he had to breathe by physically gulping for air, something like what a frog does. At night, he slept in an iron lung.

Without a doubt, Richard’s cross was very heavy. Nevertheless, everyone who came into contact with him was astonished by his patience and joy within the very difficult circumstances of his daily existence.

However, initially, Richard did not carry his cross well. Understandably he gave into self-pity, until one day his parish priest, through good, sound advice, snapped him out of his slump. From that moment on, Richard decided to help others by speaking to any group that would listen to his story. With the help of his parents, Richard Chaput of Nashua, New Hampshire traveled all over his home state, and his testimony touched thousands of lives.

Most of us when we suffer wonder, why me? Why do I have to suffer? The meaning of life will be become clearer to us when we realize that we will find purpose in life when our search leads us from why to whom. Suffering does have a human face to it. We have only to look at our Lord Jesus crucified on the Cross and there we will find the meaning of our existence and the answer to our searching and longing.

In our suffering we demand answers. We are not satisfied with pietistic platitudes such as “just offer it up” or “you will be just fine”. Suffering, especially chronic physical sickness, deep emotional pain, and death itself, causes a personal crisis that forces us to go deep into ourselves and ask those questions that are most fundamental to our human existence. It is precisely in the crucible of intense suffering that we either come close to God or rebel against His loving presence.

“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16: 24). In these words taken from this Sunday’s gospel narrative we discover the drastic invitation of Jesus. Embracing the cross, our personal cross or crosses that cannot be transferred to another, is an essential aspect to our walk with the Lord Jesus.

Jesus and the two thieves were not the only people ever crucified by the Roman Empire. Crucifixion was the preferred form of capital punishment used for those living under Roman jurisdiction but who were not actually Roman citizens. Beheading was the punishment of choice for Roman citizens, crucifixion for non-Roman citizens. Just think how horrible crucifixion must have been if the Romans spared their own citizens such a terrible death. So painful was death by crucifixion that the Romans eventually did away with it as a form of capital punishment.

The Jews were accustomed to seeing people crucified. Political insurrections on the part of the Jewish populace were punished by mass crucifixions When Jesus turned to His disciples and said “Take up your cross and come follow me”, it was if He was saying, “Take up your gas chamber, take up your electric chair, take up your noose, and come follow me”. Those listening to Him knew precisely what crucifixion entailed. While the comparison may sound absurd, nevertheless, it is precisely in the daily carrying of our cross that we will find the loving presence of the crucified and risen Lord.

Too many of our contemporaries seek an easy life without suffering, without sacrifice, without renunciation, without mortification. Many people would like to stand under the cross of Jesus and cry out as did the jeering crowd on the first Good Friday, “Come down from the cross.” Contemporary society does not want to suffer and this is why we need to heed the words of St. Paul: “Do not conform yourselves to this age…” (Romans 12: 2). We must be convinced that there is only one Jesus, and H is the crucified Jesus who rose from the dead. Christianity without the cross is not Christianity; only through the cross of Jesus have we gained salvation.

So, when we suffer, we should not consider our suffering a burden; rather we must look upon the cross we bear as an immense gift from God. Mother Theresa once said: “Suffering is a sign that we have come so close to Jesus on the cross that He can kiss us and that He can show that He is in love with us by giving us an opportunity to share in His passion”.

Undoubtedly there are many forms of suffering that are quite mysterious. However, the need to carry our cross as an essential dimension of Christianity that does not take away the need and the duty to seek cures for illnesses and to make this life a better life for everyone. Although human progress continues to make this earth a better place for everyone, suffering, in one form or another, will always be a part of our existence. The meaning of suffering only makes sense when we contemplate Jesus Christ crucified and then raised from the dead.

When we ask the question why, we need only look upon the crucifix. It is there that we will find the meaning of suffering and the exact reason why we too must carry our own cross.

Each of us has a cross to carry. We must all identify our crosses and carry them with patience, joy, and love. Why should we complain about something that will be the means by which we will gain eternal life?

As Thomas à Kempis reminds us, “The cross, therefore, is always ready; it awaits you everywhere. No matter where you may go, you cannot escape it, for wherever you go you take yourself with you and shall always find yourself. Turn where you will — above, below, without, or within — you will find a cross in everything, and everywhere you must have patience if you would have peace within and merit an eternal crown.”

Remember that one of the three purposes of marriage is the procreation of children.  To use Natural Family Planning for a definite or indefinite period of time because a woman does not think that she “is ready” to have a child may indicate that the couple should have put off their marriage.  Perhaps further preparation and formation were necessary. 

At the same time it is important to keep in mind that finishing college or the acquisition of another degree are not to be considered serious and legitimate reasons to use Natural Family Planning.  If a young married couple wish to continue their studies, this is perfectly legitimate, however, college and further education are not motives for using Natural Family Planning.  If a degree is important to the young married couple, it may be advisable to finish college and then get married, or the couple may continue their educational interests while at the same time being open to the transmission of life within their intimate life as a married couple. 

Let us remember that the three ends of marriage are equal and that they form one single entity.  Marriage is not a “license to have sex.”  The marital act must always be open to the transmission of life.

When Natural Family Planning is used for selfish motives, although the method is different from artificial birth control, it is being used as a form of contraception rather than a moral or ethical means to regulate births.

Furthermore, convenience, such as economic status or career opportunities are not to be considered as serious and legitimate reasons to use Natural Family Planning.

Married couples who choose to live in a larger home and decide to stop having children in order to pay the higher mortgage payment must understand that economic status does not constitute a reason to stop having children.  Wives, who do not need to work in order to pay the household bills but who simply desire to work, must understand that a career is not a reason to stop having children.  Economics, such as the loss of a job or a time of economic turmoil in a country may determine the use of Natural Family Planning.  However, Americans, who usually live very comfortable and even affluent lives, must not use economic status or career opportunities as the criteria for determining the size of their families.

I understand that everything that I have said is very controversial and is totally opposite to the mentality of the majority of Catholics in this country, perhaps even among the small percentage of Catholics who do not use artificial birth control. 

What is love?  Christian love calls us to be unconditionally generous with the God of unconditional love.  Christian love calls married spouses to love each other with an unconditional love.  Christian love calls each mother and father to love their children with unconditional love.  True Christian love is what makes a marriage a good marriage, a happy marriage, and marriage filled with joy. 

Married couples that are imbued with Christian love would never consider using artificial birth control or Natural Family Planning for selfish reasons. 

Furthermore, husband and wife cooperate and participate in the on-going miracle of God’s creation.  The fundamental task of marriage and family life is to be at the service of life.  Responsible parenthood is lived out within the structures which God has established in human nature.  God’s design is that the nature of sexual intercourse is both life-giving (pro-creative) and love-giving (unitive).  Married couples are called, through holy matrimony, to cooperate with God the Creator in the continuation of the human race.  Every husband and every wife must be in tune with God and what He wants.  Too many Americans make all of their decisions, especially the size of their families, based on selfish motives.  Christian marriage, by the very nature of Christianity and the very nature of the sacrament of marriage, calls a married man and a married woman to seek God’s holy will in their lives. 

Thus, when married couples prudently discern the number of children for their family, most importantly, they must be in tune with what God wants for them: what God is asking of them.  Every child is a gift from God.  Some married couples are called to have a large family.  Some married couples are called to have a smaller family.  Some married couples cannot have children and within that great suffering, they find another calling subordinate to their vocations to marriage. 

In order to be in tune with God and His holy will, a married man and a married woman must have a profound, intimate, and personal relationship with God.  This relationship is fostered and deepened through a daily and well disciplined life of prayer.

Mary, the Mother of Jesus, is the perfect model of a creature’s relationship with God the creator.  She listened attentively to what God was asking her through the angel Gabriel.  At first she was afraid, but then she trusted.  Trust is essential.  Trust God.  When we do not trust God, we take our focus off of Him and we turn inwards and our egos take over.

Back in 1968 Pope Paul VI warned the world what would happen if artificial birth control were to be made available:

“Let them first consider how easily this course of action could open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards. Not much experience is needed to be fully aware of human weakness and to understand that human beings — and especially the young, who are so exposed to temptation — need incentives to keep the moral law, and it is an evil thing to make it easy for them to break that law. Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection” (Pope Paul VI, Humanae Vitae, 17).

Paul VI was correct.  Was he not a prophet of his times?   

Please keep in mind that many birth control pills act at least some of the time as abortifacients.  This means that an abortion actually takes place.  It is also true that birth control pills are causing cancer in women at an alarming rate.

The bottom line problem with many contracepting couples is that they do not want to have more kids.  What is wrong with having the children that God has intended you to have?  Why do we keep trying to control everything?  We should attune ourselves to what God wants for us.  Yes, there is such a thing as responsible parenthood, but great importance must be placed on openness to children, generosity, and God’s plan over our lives.

As a parish priest I have encouraged my families to be open to life.  I have found that my openness to life is one of the most beautiful aspects of my life as a Catholic priest.  Every time a young couple tells me, usually with a twinkle in the eye, that they are having a baby, I embrace them, congratulate them, and thank them for their love for life.  When I baptize their new born baby, it is as if my spiritual paternity is being mystically consummated in the magical moment when that little baby becomes a child of God through the waters of baptism.

When we begin to understand the mystery of the sacrament of marriage and how it is a reflection of the marriage of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5: 21-33), we can then begin to understand why contraception is intrinsically evil.

Not every conjugal act produces a pregnancy, but because of the very nature of holy matrimony and the intimate life of married couples, every conjugal act must be open to the transmission of life.

Aside from the common forms of contraception that are used by married couples, another form of contraception that is more in use than I had ever imagined is sterilization.  Catholic women are having tubal ligations and Catholic men are having vasectomies at an alarming rate.

Many Catholic men seemingly are falling into a trap by thinking that a vasectomy is a quick fix solution without serious consequences. 

However, here is a list of the possible serious consequences of a vasectomy: life-long autoimmune problems, chronic testicular pain, decreased testicular function, chronic testicular inflammation, prostate cancer, testicular shrinkage, lung cancer, testicular cancer, erectile dysfunction and impotence, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, gangrene of the scrotum, loss of libido, personality disturbances, adrenal gland dysfunction, hypoglycemia, narcolepsy, lymph node enlargement, and liver dysfunction.

As you can see, when humans fool around with nature, the consequences are disastrous.

Once again, I understand that everything that I have just said is very controversial.  I understand that the majority of Catholics in America completely reject the Catholic Church’s teaching on procreation.  However, please be open.  Read Humanae Vitae.  Read Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body.  Read, study, pray, and embrace the truth about marriage, sexuality and family life.  Remember what our Lord Jesus said in the Gospel: “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8: 32).