The things I am trying to remind myself of are:

1. I am a sinner very in need of mercy, so I can’t look at someone else and say he or she is a worse sinner because I don’t really know what the responsiblities of that person before God are. Which leads to the next point.

2. There is a secret inner self that each person has that no one else can access except God. sometimes people do horrible things for what seem to them to be very good reasons. and the internal motivations my be very hidden or complex. Also people are influenced by many things beyond their control, such as prenatal influences or even injuries, early childhood shocks to their system, genetic predispositions, even enviromental hazards, like exposure to lead and other chemicals that mess up their brains.

3. I still think we should try to point out when people are on the wrong path and not be detered by the recognition that that this will often be a thankless endeavor, nor should we be scared of losing their friendship or the realtionship we have with them. Admonishing the sinner is a work of mercy and a part of our Christian witness. If we just seem to go along with evil, we damage our witness.

Here is what I struggle with: Are we to judge those close to us whom we know are making bad choices? Are we to help them turn from evil? If we cannot judge, how can we help? Upon what platform may we stand if we cannot say, “What you’re doing is wrong, unhealthy or destructive”? To point out these things, must we not make judgements about the acts themselves?

I remember a co-worker who, in criticizing her family, said, “Well, they’re going to Hell and I’m not.” Is it this attitude that Jesus forbids in Matthew 7?

I struggle with these questions and ask for insight.

To love the sinner and hate the sin, it is necessary that we recognize and call sin by its proper name. In other words, we judge.

As parents we must point out where sin happens in order to give our children a correct understanding of the moral law. Sometimes this involves an objective evaluation of the evildoing of others. I’ve seen too many parents fail to give their children proper guidance by mis-applying the “don’t judge” dictum.

At the same time we do our duty and judge the objective moral character of ours and others’ actions, we must not judge their human dignity the less, nor judge how they stand in front of the our merciful and just God. For who of us is justified except by his abundant mercy?

I always wondered, what was the story behind this man’s coming to the homeless shelter when he couldn’t stay with his own kin. It was always a sad moment for me, and it taught me not to take for granted my own family, with their own foibles and faults (who have taken me in on more than one occasion). Every person has a story, and there is always more than meets the eye.