Theresa Thomas

Hmmmm…. I really don’t think our generation of men are the first to pound dough or help with biscuits. I do think they may be the first generation of men who don’t mind having it advertised I remember my now deceased grandfather doing some odd ‘women’s work’ over the stove, although he didn’t talk about it…. Somehow I can picture good St. Joseph helping Mary in in the kitchen, over the fire, perhaps stirring something in a pot. However, I don’t know. We can’t know for sure. Perhaps you are right…..

Maybe because for some of us, it is ? Not everybody has fond memories of kitchens. For me, kitchens remind me of one of my grandmothers, who was, to put it mildly, a very difficult person to live with. It also takes me back to holiday dinners when I was a kid, where the women were expected to do the cooking and clean-up while the men sat around watching football on TV. (The fact that I don’t remember so much as a word of thanks from said men makes the scenario particularly unattractive.)
Besides that, I’ve found that I actually like the taste of professionally prepared food more than that of ‘ homecooked ‘ !
Why do something poorly myself when I could pay somebody else to do it well ? Especially when I don’t enjoy doing it in the first place ?

I have been wounded on many a holiday when, after I’ve been cooking for hours, far flung relatives brag that they bought a pre-cooked dinner from a fancy grocery store because “it’s the only way to go.” Or when local relatives reject a holiday invitation because they’d rather enjoy “good food” from a hotel buffet. Somehow, the love that was poured into my oven and stovetop has seemed belittled or rejected.

Holidays around here include combing cookbooks for just the right combination of dishes. Fancy ingredients replace the everyday, mundane ones. My daughters and I pour OURSELVES into the meals we prepare for Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter.

I’ve been befuddled when other relatives give voice to wanting to make holiday meal preparations as EASY as possible. I’ve been saddened when they gush about how much they enjoy a simple potluck so that they “don’t have to work so hard.” I wonder why the food we’ve prepared for each other in past years is remembered as a burden instead of a gift.

I think that these attitudes stem from the belittling of women’s arts. Cooking has become merely a chore, to be avoided in any way possible by most modern women. What a shame. Would that the wisdom of all the Sito’s of the world had passed to our generation.

But it is true, Teresa, about what you said about us cooking because we love. Although my mother can neither read nor write in English, she is the best cook in the land and very proud of it. So when I go back home , I’m going to have her help me finetune my kibbi recipe.

Except that women in generation’s past wouldn’t have expected or wanted their husbands in the kitchen with them preparing the meals.