A few years back, I was standing in line at the grocery store, shuffling canned goods and boxes of cereal onto the conveyor belt, when a particularly raunchy Rolling Stone magazine cover caught my attention. The display was at eye-level with my three young children, who were already staring at it. Trust me, it was disgusting.
Glancing at the signs that proclaimed, “This is a Candy-Free Check Out Lane,” I decided to light one very small candle instead of cursing the dark. I complained to the cashier that the magazine was inappropriate and should be placed elsewhere.
She stared at me blankly. I persisted and showed her the magazine cover. She responded by asking me how many pastries were in my bakery bag, so she could ring them up.
I went on undaunted, saying “If you’re going to have candy-free lanes, shouldn’t you have smut-free lanes too?” That’s when the people behind me started to fidget uncomfortably.
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, as they say. I took a breath and asked to speak to the store manager. That’s when the eyes started rolling and the tongues began to cluck in disapproval all around me. But here’s what surprised me the most: there wasn’t a soul there under the age of 65, including the cashier, the man bagging my groceries and the customers in my line and adjacent lanes. Some were quite elderly, with canes or walkers. And no one came to my support.
Fast-forward to last week at a local prayer group where I am, literally, the only woman under the age of 70. Over coffee, this group of seniors was celebrating the “change” that would arrive when newly-elected Barack Obama took the White House in January. “The Catholic Church will just have to listen now,” said one, her rosary beads still warm in her pocket from our prayer session. “It’s so exciting that the old ways are finally going to be put behind us.”
Whatever happened to sweet old people who could be counted on to smile at children, open doors for women and honor the traditions of the Catholic faith? I’ll tell you what happened, they’ve gone haywire.
The Church can talk about evangelizing the younger generations with catechesis and outreach programs that motivate and inspire, but I’m here to tell you there’s a serious generation gap going on and it’s not just the young people.
My mother is one of them. This lovely woman, who hasn’t missed Sunday mass in 50 years, and who used to teach the neighborhood children their religious education on Wednesday afternoons, is an 85-year-old stereotype of a senior gone haywire. Not too long ago, she announced to me that priests should be allowed to marry “because then they would understand how hard it is for the rest of us.”
Not particularly complimentary to my father, the poor guy.
When I patiently explained to her that a priest is called to be set apart from us, to be married to the Church and to be an Alter Christus, she answered, “Well, Jesus was married, wasn’t He? He even had kids. They never told us that in the old days but now everything’s coming out.”
Everything’s coming out, all right, like sewage out of a blocked septic system.
It used to be that with age came wisdom, that with life’s experiences a person grew closer to God, shedding unimportant material concerns in favor of a more enlightened attitude about life and death.
Not any more. The generation we used to be able to count on to stand for conservative values is not so reliable now, and many Catholic seniors are losing their religious sensibilities. Fueled by liturgical confusion, lack of Episcopal leadership, and a late-in-life casual attitude, more of them seem to be questioning what they missed out on during all those years of Latin Masses and Baltimore Catechism lessons. The reasons may vary, but here are a several frontrunners:
- Poor catechesis. Many of the senior and elderly Catholics I’ve talked to practice their faith without understanding it. Instead of applying faith and logic, it’s more of a reflex action. That was passable when priests could be trusted to be orthodox and our culture was not outwardly hostile to the Gospel. Now, subtle and not-so-subtle heresies are rampant and this generation is often confused and unable to defend doctrine to others or to themselves.
- The Fear Factor. Many elderly Catholics seem to have based their faith on fear of being struck down by God, rather than a love for Him and an understanding of His commandments. Now, with cultural and moral shifts towards liberalism, even the eldest population of Americans is wavering. One parishioner recently told me, “I’m too old to be afraid of God anymore.”
- The perks of age. Many seniors believe their age entitles them to override most rules and customs, and that they’ve somehow transcended any struggle to be faithful in the current culture.
- Material comforts and financial security outweigh their faith. Money trumps morals. This could be said of all generations in America at this time, but it’s especially surprising among seniors, many of whom lived through early years of deprivation. According to research and polling information, senior citizens consistently choose financially-related topics as their primary concern, ahead of social, moral or religious factors.
It’s no wonder that seniors voted in record numbers for the most liberal president-elect this nation has ever seen. They fully expect, like most Americans, to get something out of the incoming administration, or at least to hold on to the financial benefits and incentives they currently have.
I’m not the only middle-ager who has noticed these trends. A friend of mine told me the other day that she was faced, quite suddenly, with defending Humanae Vitae to a group of older seniors at a meeting of lay “apostles,” (similar to a third order) at a local convent. These women maintained that the Church must allow birth control in order to combat abortion rates and that abstinence doesn’t work. She patiently informed them that birth control is a form of abortion itself. Despite her arguments, the group was skeptical of her “radical” beliefs.
As my mother has said to me, “When you’re young, you like to believe in everything the Church says, but when you’re older you decide for yourself.” She couldn’t expand on her opinion at the time — she was rushing out the door to a funeral. The man who died had been co-habitating with a friend of hers. He was 89 years old; her girlfriend is 86. Marriage hadn’t been an option because neither wanted to lose their Social Security benefits.
My apologies to all of the seniors who are reading this and who believe their generation is getting a bum rap. I’m sure there are many seniors and elderly out there who are still keeping the faith, but this trend of seniors gone haywire is significant enough to impact the economy, the culture and the recent election. Seniors are adding to our nation’s cultural woes in a significant way. Considering we are at only the beginning of the Baby Boomer generation reaching senior status — a generation long known for abhorring conservative and Christian values — this trend promises to grow and worsen.
So the next time you’re in a check out lane, be careful what you say — there just might be a senior gone haywire coming to a grocery store near you.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:28 am
“40 years I endured that generation/ I said they are a people whose hearts go astray / and they do not know my ways.”. -Psalm 95
November 21st, 2008 at 5:17 am
My Mom too. 82. Daily Mass, daily rosary, the Magificat stuffed with prayer cards. One for each of her 9 children, chosen relatives and friends in trouble. On the other hand, she loves it when the priest gathers the children around the altar for the Eucharistic Prayer. She loves it when “sister” gives the homily. She was first in line for the Mass that our Bishop had to “welcome and affirm” gays a number of years ago (in solidarity with my gay brother). I have decided that she, like me, is just doing the best that she can with the gifts that God has given her. In this diocese we have had at least thirty solid years of bad teaching. Being told over and over again at Sunday Mass that acceptance is more important than correction, as one by one, her kids fell away. What can you expect? Along comes the internet in the 1990’s and some of us, now in our 40’s are shocked and surprised to at last learn what the Church REALLY teaches. It is a comfort to me to know that God is both Truth and Mercy. I am certain that your mother is thankful for your witness and love, even if she doesn’t understand it.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:36 am
My mother lived with another woman’s husband until she died. She always told us that the church will learn from it’s mistakes, that they love each other and the church is about love, so it can not say to her that it is wrong.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:45 am
Age, or the lack of age, does not guarantee holiness (you mean I don’t have heaven all wrapped up by 75???).
Please don’t forget the effects of illness and medications on the reactions of older individuals. Waiting in line can be difficult if you are not well.
Having spent some time with elderly people, I have seen individuals who attend church functions to see their friends. They really need the social time. And, yes, sometimes that’s about as deep as it seems to go. Everybody needs prayer!
Especially during this month, I wonder how I will feel after struggling, seeking and waiting for God for 80, 90 or 100 years. Let’s pray for patient endurance and a strong sense of God’s love and support.
November 21st, 2008 at 6:03 am
An article on Boston.com.
PP responds to Bishop O’Malley
http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles_of_faith/2008/11/planned_parenth.html
November 21st, 2008 at 6:43 am
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You laid out so succinctly what my heart was wondering. How could seniors not care about anyone but themselves because that is what it looks like to me as they are more concerned about their security than about the continuation of this nation for the sake of their children and grandchildren.
I have thought many times of Psalm 95 that God will leave them and even the my generation which is the baby boomers to our own devices and rebuild with a new generation.
I came about something called the “Cycle of Democracy” by Alexander Tytler written over 200 years ago.
“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover they can vote themselves largess from the public treasury.
“From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising them the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.
“The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. These nations have progressed through this sequence:
“From bondage to spiritual faith;
from spiritual faith to great courage;
from courage to liberty;
from liberty to abundance;
from abundance to selfishness;
from selfishness to apathy;
from apathy to dependence;
from dependency back again into bondage.”
Dr. Alexander Tytler, a Scot professor, wrote a scholarly tome, from which this concept comes, called “The Athenian Republic” which was published shortly before the thirteen American colonies gained independence from Britain.
November 21st, 2008 at 6:54 am
Doreen,
I have noticed the same phenomena. Apparently is not just local. But that is not comforting to know.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:13 am
Please be assured that not all senior citizens are not acting in the way that is portrayed in the original article and the comments. I was 72 yesterday and my husband will be 74 next week. While we have moved into the new technological age, to be able to keep up, we are still faithful to the teachings of the Church we grew up with.
We are active in the pro-life movement and voted first and foremost for candidates who would most protect the right to life.
We both make many sacrifices so that we can help our children and their families when they are struggling, especially now that some are without employment. I am still working so that we can afford to keep our son’ family in their home.
It seems that we are all guilty of accusing “another generation” for the problems in the world. I too am guilty of this.
I will not point any fingers here though. But please be assured that seniors as a whole have forgotten their Catholic upbringing. We are still “alive and well” in the church today.
God bless you all - stay srong.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:30 am
My mom lives in a 55 and over community. I’ve been amazed how little they seemed to have progressed in holiness over the decades. It’s as if they’ve learned little from life’s lessons. (A lesson,itself, I’m studying now).
I expected the place to be packed with wise grannys ala “Grandmother” in Heidi. Not so. They shop, drink, travel, gossip, gossip, and party continuously with doctor’s visits and a few acts of mercy thrown in when it fits there schedule. It’s as if they don’t hear the clock ticking. And talk about “shacking up”! They set the pace. My mom says it’s disgusting; and, they’re shameless about it.
A superficial faith without proper catechesis might have served these folks in the 50s and 60s, but without the fortress of knowledge, Satan has snatched their faith away.
They need to be loved into the truth because they were truly sheep without a shepherd. We of the JPII generation, cannot fathom what their faith journey has entailed.
Regarding Baby Boomers, that is a secular designation. The fact that these old folks still attend mass indicates they’re Post Vatican II Survivors. Hopefully the JPII Generation, their children, will be the Springtime of Evangelization for them in the winter of their lives.
Cooky and Mr Jewell, what say you?
November 21st, 2008 at 7:30 am
Doreen,
When I went with a pro-life group to protest a pro-abortion speaker 10 years ago at a Catholic College, ALL of the audience was 60 and up. To understand it a little better, remember that they were 20ish during the turmoil, confusion, and bad philosophy of the 1960s. Fast forwarding it 48 years to 2008, this puts them at an age of about 68 now. They believe were the first generation to ‘liberate’ themselves from the ‘old ways’. It doesn’t help too that many magazines which advertise to the eldery are full of New Age, one world religion information.
From a parent perspective, I guess it shows how important it is to be in touch with what our children are learning. Years ago, our grandparents sent their children to school - often Catholic school - with the hope that they would get a well rounded education. It was assumed that they would be taught the Catholic perspective. I can attest from my own experience that this often isn’t so today. I think that the radical elements at work in education in the 1960s caught a lot of parents off gaurd.
Perhaps we (the ‘young’) should pray for that first generation that cleaved from the faith so that they can return to the faith - at heart - before they pass away.
God bless
November 21st, 2008 at 7:49 am
A number of years ago my uncle joined the Freemasons. Trying to figure out what I should do or say, I brought the matter to prayer and decided that the best thing would be to approach my grandfather, the head of the family, since it is his place to say something to his son. Well, Grandpa is in his late 80’s, sharp as a tack, and has been married a near-miraculous 65+ years to Grandma. But on the subject of the Freemasons, he had no clue. He told me that the Masons were “not that bad” any more and had no comment when I offered that my uncle was probably excommunicated as a result of his association. This is lack of catechesis, coupled with a devil-may-care attitude that Grandpa has adopted as he has grown older. I was disappointed, to say the least.
The solution? I’m not sure. People of a certain age get set in their ways. There must be patron saints of aged people; maybe St. Anthony of the Desert can help–he lived to be over 100.
November 21st, 2008 at 8:07 am
There is indeed a “lost generation” -or two. I am in my 70’s and I witnessed it. It began with Kinsey’s reports on “sexuality” which led to the “Playboy” mentality which caused “feminism” to oppose it. Along came the “pill” which opened the door to a separation between sex and procreation. Humanae Vitae warned what would happen and Bishops worldwide opposed it. This gave us the “sexual revolution” and no one seemed to remember that God doesn’t change and His laws are immutable as well.
My husband read “Playboy”, left, and moved to the city. My sister-in-law began teaching “Catechism” which said there is no Hell, but we make our own by our own lifestyle. Meanwhile all sorts of new S.T.D.’s grew to epidemic proportions, because “birth control” only stops birth -sometimes. Teen pregnancy became epidemic too. (Enter: abortion on demand and the culture of death.) The Sex Ed. classes simply encouraged experimentation. The kids needed to be reminded of chastity -and weren’t. Meanwhile, as catechism lost its way, a second generation was lost in the wilderness of the “me” generation. This gave us relativism and selfish use of others for gratification of self that continues to present time.
November 21st, 2008 at 8:31 am
P.S. My husband returned home when he became ill and was dying. I studied Church teaching, lives of the Saints, and prayed a lot to deal with it . Fatima revelations, other Marian revelations, and J.P.II helped me to see truth, but single motherhood and widowhood are still difficult. Grown children who weren’t catechised well stray and have to re-learn from “the school of hard-knocks”. I had also heard of the way democracy decends to Lowest common denominator and we seem to be on the brink of dictatorship right now. “Change” that depends on the deaths of millions of innocents is not likely to be good or easy. That was what Hitler promised for a bankrupt economy in Germany and he brought the Holocaust.!
November 21st, 2008 at 8:35 am
Being elderly, I am appalled and completely unwitting. Where I come from it is not like the description and comments preceding. The elders in my community are the most holy and sanctified and active. I thank GOD that this is so and will pray for those who suffer the loss of faith.
GOD bless
November 21st, 2008 at 8:41 am
I have noticed the same thing. Although I know that many seniors are pro-life, the most negative interactions I’ve had while doing pro-life work (taking petition signatures or manning a pro-life information booth) have been with women who appear to be over 55 or 60. Some have been downright nasty and angry. I’ve noticed this for many years. Younger women may want to debate the issue but they seem more open to listening and way less angry–at least in my experience.
My aunts and uncles who are 70 - 80 years old seem to be primarily interested in playing golf and tennis and travel–the typical “Leisure World” lifestyle. My own mother doesn’t fit into this category nor did my Dad who just passed away at age 90 although their views on certain aspects of the Church might be more “liberal” than mine now.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:01 am
We have been lamenting this fact for years. Our elders are completely caught up in the world, materialism, security and “spending our children’s inheritance!” Isn’t that a riot?
We only have my in-laws who are practicing Catholic (ie., they go to Mass every Sunday, or Saturday night as they prefer). We have watched them get more and more liberal over the last 15 years. Now the Church is an “everchanging institution” that “changes with the times.” They think the Church has changed its’ teaching on contraception, abortion, homosexuals, shacking up, pornography, divorce….the list goes on and on.
I concluded that they changed their views because their children left the faith and the parent’s didn’t want to have a conflict between their faith and their family. So they chose familial affections over Catholicism. Now they follow their (and the world’s) lead, and stay benignly silent in the face of all manner of outrages and offenses committed in the family and in society.
I think they lost their faith especially because they were only superficial in it to begin with. Then when they raised their kids’ that way and the kids embraced the world and all that entails….they quit, gave up and joined the enemy.
We’re the weirdos and “zealots” because we adhere to the Traditional teachings of the Church….you know, the ones that haven’t been changed.
But as another poster stated….we only learned about true Catholicism because of the internet. If we were like others in the family (and in the world), only getting our information from offensive N.O. masses, and the news and entertainment media…I guess we’d think just like they do. The only thing is, they remember how it used to be. But they think that pre Vatican II was just terrible and so “old fashioned.”
It’s a blessing to hear other voices of reason out there. It’s going to be a long time, maybe not even in our lifetimes to see any influence of our or our children’s generations to try to right the wrongs that have been done in the name of “freedom” and liberalism.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:07 am
My mother has to be a saint! She put up with raising me a God sent purgatory. The compliments surrounding the time of her funeral, a couple years ago, would tend to place her in a more comfortable setting than she lived on this earth as well. Mostly the compliments went along the line of having done life with class (in the good sense). She looked for the good in every situation or steered the situation toward the good. She lived a hard life with many yokes but no one would have known it. I believe she offered all tribulation up and lived a most wonderful example of giving until she could give no more.
Okay, maybe she did some Purgatory for something I never knew but she was a senior that led the way and did it with the church’s guidence to the end. She would have been 83 a month ago.
Thanks be to God, I live in an area where most the seniors have a solid sense of truth.
November 21st, 2008 at 9:23 am
Update: My mom, age 70.5, just stopped by before heading off for Thanksgiving with my sister. She wrote me a card which said, “Thank you also for NEVER failing to keep me on task spiritually. I don’t know how you do it all….I love you, Momma”.
We must never forget that personal holiness evangelizes. I know my father had a vasectomy. My response was to have 11 children. My husband and I have stayed the course despite harsh family criticism. Over time, however, the light has shined in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. Amen! Alleluia!
PS My mom is the one who gave me my first In Conversation With God eight years ago this Christmas. Sparks flicker within many older folks. Be a person to which they gravitate and let the Holy Spirit breathe eternal life into their souls. They can then “Chase away the darkness” (St Augustine).
November 21st, 2008 at 9:48 am
I will not comment - just don’t get me started. The greatest (saddest) part of what separates me from my own parish is that it is majorly older persons who hand out their erroneous ‘faith’ and demand to be held ‘right’- if not ‘more right unto righteousness’ - because they are - simply - chronologically-extended. (The old ‘respect your elders’ who respect-not you.) I could go on, and on . . .
I will say that as old-age wraps me in its thin, short, cold blanket I just leave room for He Who has ever-been with me, sort of ‘conception & cradle to grave & eternity’, and only He to be so trusted so near. True - sometimes He seems to clak my painful parts with more pain, but - why not? - I look to His Crucifix, and I am content. Praying, reading, writing, getting by sharing a laugh over my growing incapacities - did I mention praying? - in contemplation of and meditation on Real Love - but true love that speaks out of my obedience as He expresses His out of His Word, Son and Eucharist and revelation.
Oh, yea, but the American Church really has to get into intensive catechesis at all levels, and if necessary give argument and debate to even old fools. I have tried a smile full of love as I can manage; they see ’something else’ through it maybe, but also seem to want the contention more than the love. But, too, I move into relishing the contention, too, and so now I remain silently prayerful and out-of-touch.
For all our now-dead loved ones and fellows, seemingly in grace or in error, do we pray - may their souls and all the souls of the faithful (as You see fit) departed rest in Your peace. O, God, permit Your children to come unto You.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:44 am
Thank you, Mr.Jewell! I feel blessed to read your comments.
I think a real key is the birth control issue with the women who were of childbirth age in the 60’s/70’s. It has been fascinating to man a pro-life apostolate booth which is specifically geared to encouraging NFP and seeing the older women’s response. Most won’t even look, hurry by, perhaps with a dirty look.
At first, I was shocked, because my grandmothers (who would be in their upper 90’s now) would be so supportive! But–this is not their generation.
I wonder if those women of this generation who “won” the fight for women’s “sexual liberation” argued and fought alot about it with their own mothers. THey had to fight the bitter fight, and they have “won”, and don’t want to hear about it anymore–what a painful can of worms to open, and how much easier to live on the surface and ignore reality! It does come down to prayer, and as elkabrikir said, (gentle) witness.
November 21st, 2008 at 11:26 am
I don’t know what happened to the comment I posted this morning, but I’ll post it again:
My mother definitely falls into this category. She is pro-abortion, she had no problem when my brother and sil did IVF and she doesn’t give a second thought to their 16 frozen embryos who will probably never see the light of day. She is pro gay-marriage, and I’m sorry to say that she has frequently engaged in relations outside of marriage (she and my father divorced 26 years ago). The only difference between her and the people described in this article is that she is not Catholic, so she has a minor excuse as to why she doesn’t know better. But I know that as this article points out there are unfortunately plenty of Catholic seniors who have adopted secular views as well. Thank you for an enlightening article.
November 21st, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I would request prayers for my widowed uncle and his ‘fiancee’ (The quotes are there because they announced to the family that they are ‘engaged’ but have set no wedding date and seemed affronted when the subject was broached. ) Like a couple mentioned in the article, they are living in sin because her late husband’s benefits would diminish for her if she remarries. It’s particularly sad for me, because I grew up admiring my uncle and my late aunt as a couple with a great marriage and strong faith. Now that she has gone to her reward, he seems to have gone off the deep end.
November 21st, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Ironically, I firmly believe that that “seniors” and all their medical expenses are next in line for mass execution, right behind the pre-born. If things stay on the same track, it’s only a matter of time.
People just don’t see the big picture. It’s like one of those novels we had to read in high school: 1984, Brave New World, etc.
Lucky
November 21st, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I want to say a word for us oldies.
Some of us have kept the faith. We may be frail, but we are not all senile.
We reared some good kids, but some are arrogant.
We are the old guard. We hung on in. We did our best.
We hope in God’s mercy.
God bless,
NoelFitz.
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In necessariis, unitas; in dubiis, libertas; in omnibus, caritas.
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November 21st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Those who perverted the “spirit of Vatican II” had fertile ground in which to plant the seeds of disruption. My parent’s generation was blindly obedient trusting the words that came from the pulpit - even when they didn’t ring true with what they had learned as children. So now I too reap the spoiled fruit of those seeds from my 88 year old mom. As difficult as it may be, we have not only inherited the need, in a lot of cases, to provide for our parent’s physical and material wellbeing but too often must lookout for their spiritual welfare.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Much of this problem, especially among Catholic seniors, can be traced back to a kind of “deprogramming” they went through in the years immediately following the Second Vatican Council. There was nothing wrong with their religious formation growing up in the 1930’s and 40’s. Most of them went through the Catholic school system taught by religious sisters in habits and attended Mass celebrated in Latin by priests who faced the tabernacle. They learned their catechisms and knew the Holy Father in Rome was head of the Church and that the priest of deserving of respect and a certain amount of awe. Those same people eventually married in the 1950’s and had children.
Then came Vatican II.
Suddenly their Masses were celebrated in a language they could understand (English), and the priest now faced them during Mass. When their church building was remodeled to reflect the new “spirit of Vatican II” suddenly the congregants were facing each other and going with the flow when their new young priest, Father Contemporary, began to experiment with all sorts of new and novel liturgies (guitars replacing the organ, snappy vestments) and all with the local bishop’s smiling approval.
Worst of all, they were being told by people they trusted that now, thanks to Vatican II, much of not most of what they had been taught as youngsters the Church, “didn’t teach that anymore.” Some of it had a grain of truth (like the change in the “Friday abstinence” rules), but other more serious Church laws were dismissed with a wink and a nod by the local pastor in confession (like the use of artificial contraception). I could cite numerous other examples. But the long and the short of it is, once faithful and devout Catholics were told that it wasn’t so necessary to be so “Catholic.” Never again were heard homilies devoted to subjects like penance, chastity, or the importance of remaining in the “state of grace” in order to receive Eucharist. They were sounding more and more like Hallmark card platitudes.
Gone were the altar rails, confessionals and kneelers (not to mention the unwritten Sunday dress code—women were now showing up in pantsuits, the men in baseball jackets and penny loafers).
Tragically, no one came back later to tell them that the pendulum had swung way too far and in the wrong direction. The all-too-casual approach to their Catholic faith had now become ingrained in their day-to-day lives. And confession? Prior to Vatican II it was probably once every few months (if not more frequent, and certainly at least once during Lent). Now they were doing good to have their confession heard once a year (maybe, and even then, still believing those “communal” penance services were sufficient to fulfill any obligation).
I know of what I speak as I tragically watched this whole process unfold in my parent’s parish (and in my family) over the course of 15 years after Vatican II. My parents (who live in another state—they’re in their early ’80’s) used to go to confession regularly. By their own admission they haven’t darkened a confessional in over 20 years. I’m sure there are tens of thousands of Catholics their age in the same situation.
I tried talking to them about that last year and told them they needed to go. My efforts were met with an indifferent shrug. After all, they assured me, they hadn’t committed any mortal sins. How would they know? They probably hadn’t done a serious examination of conscience since 1985 (or earlier).
No, I don’t blame “Vatican II.” I blame the irresponsible shepherds and their reckless parish pastors for misinforming an entire generation of once-faithful Catholics. May God have mercy on their souls.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Dennis…:
Thanks for enfleshing my thoughts. Your parents et al truly are “Post Vatican II survivors”. It’s a wonder that they ever go to mass or confession.
Has your own faith been shaped by JPII and priests he inspired?
November 21st, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Elkabrikir:
You are quite welcome.
Yes, my folks are “survivors” but I’d like to see them do better than just “tread water.” I’m glad they attend Mass every Sunday. A large number of mature Catholics don’t even do that much anymore. They go on Easter and Christmas if they go at all.
As to JPII, my faith has certainly been shaped by JPII. He personified the authentic “spirit of Vatican II” as far as I’m concerned.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I cannot thank you enough for this article. I have to agree with 1950Dennis for the reasons this age group has suffered. I feel blessed to be sound of mind enough to reap the benefits of JPII and Benedict XVI. My lovely 85 year old mother knew her Baltimore Cathechism inside out as a child, she even refused to attend her older sister’s wedding in the early 1950’s because it was not in a Catholic Church. She had 7 children (inluding 2 miscarriages) with my non-practicing Episcopalian father. They have been married for 52 years now.
The downfall has been slow. First we switched to what must have been one of the last parishes to kneel for communion and wear veils to a guitar strumming vigil Mass when my older sisters suggested this. (Subsequently my sisters and myself all left the faith, thanks be to God I have been back for a number of years now). My mother never technically left but followed the cultural wave. When I suggested she go with me to Confession she suggested she did not sin (!); She is not for gay marriage or abortion but does not feel it is her duty to vote this way, citing other reasons for her support of Barack Obama. She just told me on the phone that there is a picture of him in a newspaper holding items in his hand he has been given for ‘luck’ and one was a Miraculous Medal to which I suggested may be an avenue of Grace for him………….
This generation is of the mind set that whatever the doctor tells you must be correct and in that they have been so mislead by clergy over the decades especially in liberal areas. God help us all! Thank you again for making me realize I am not alone.
Let us keep all these misguided souls in our daily prayers.
November 21st, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I am glad to see some good and charitable comments. It’s not all dooom and gloom.
Some priests do imply that confession is no longer necessary or that God might not care about abortion, but there are also good ones (ours) who encourage respect for life of the unborn and N.F.P. and our church still has confession lines every day. A group of us goes to pray at a clinic every week and our church has an active parish pro-life group consisting of both young and old. A lot depends on how Bishops run the diocese. I agree that seniors are next in line for “screening out” the frail and expensive. J.P.II was a good example for all ages & we need to know that God’s rules NEVER ever change.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:02 pm
I’m very happy to say that a dear friend of mine passed away and was buried today. He would have turned 94 on Tuesday had he not passed away on Sunday. He was one who ran the race, fought the good fight, and finished well. He kept his faith. Not only that he tried to help others keep the faith too. He was truly a saint. I pray he’s now sharing in Jesus’ reward for the good and faithful servants.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:27 pm
2 Timothy 4:3
3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but {wanting} to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires,
Matthew 13:15 & 16
15 FOR THE HEART OF THIS PEOPLE HAS BECOME DULL, WITH THEIR EARS THEY SCARCELY HEAR, AND THEY HAVE CLOSED THEIR EYES, OTHERWISE THEY WOULD SEE WITH THEIR EYES, HEAR WITH THEIR EARS, AND UNDERSTAND WITH THEIR HEART AND RETURN, AND I WOULD HEAL THEM.’ 16 “But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear.
Luke 17:26
26 “And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man:
November 21st, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Dear Elka, Grace, Dennis, Warren and all of you who care: thank you! Thank you for caring for all the “elders” who need your love and compassion (even if, like me, you are one of them!). Thanks, too, to those of you who brought up the subject of “healthcare” for us “useless eaters”. Just remember that, for those of us in a state of grace, he who kills us does us a favor.
Unfortunately, the problem under discussion here is not limited to seniors (scandalous as we are!). Generations of “social Catholics” breed generations more of “social Catholics”. (P.S. the same can be said for Protestants, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, et al.)
Personally, I don’t see this as problem of catechesis, or pastoral care, or even the Magisterium. I see it, mostly, as a cultural problem. Many people go to church–even become very actively involved–because: a) it was expected of them by somebody; b)they’ve made friends who “do” things with them; or c) because it’s “easier” than not doing it (i.e., they’ve developed a habit, and we all know habits are hard to break). Do they understand what they’re doing? Do they ever think about why they’re doing it? Do they care? No. No. And, no.
So, what ARE they doing? Trying to get through life as best they can. That’s it. That’s the big answer. Frustrating, isn’t it? How do you respond? “But, you’ve GOT to care!”? When they look at you and ask why, then what? “Because God wants you to care”, or “because God cares about you!” only bores them. They are so caught up in the culture of “ME”, they simply refuse to care.
How do I know this? By careful observation of…..are you sure you’re ready?……not my parish, not my diocese, but of my Third Order! I, personally, have participated in 3 different “groups” within this Order, plus I have a handful of Order-friends all over the country and even overseas. Out of groups ranging from 20-70 participants, there are one or two in each group who are committed to holiness. The rest are there for the food, fellowship, and gossip.
This is the shocking reality. What to do? I have a couple of answers, but you’re not going to like them. First, re-read Matt. 7:13 and Luke 18:8, and understand that God has already done everything in His Power to save them. If they refuse and HE won’t force them, neither can you. Secondly, pray. No, I don’t mean “oh, by the way, it would be nice if….” kinds of prayers; I mean the mountain-moving, sycamore-uprooting, Rom. 9:3 kind of prayers. And, finally, let go, detach, abandon yourself AND them into God’s Mercy. “For His Mercy endures forever”.
November 22nd, 2008 at 5:53 am
Cooky, here you go: Rom9:3 For I wished myself to be an anathema from Christ, for my brethren, who are my kinsmen according to the flesh,
Now THAT is putting your soul where your mouth is.
Thanks for the additional perspective.
As my husband rejoined to your comments, “Church is the playing field, but not everybody is going to the probowl”. Spoken like a true man!
Daughter, thank you for sharing the story of your friend. He was like “Grandmother” of Heidi.