“For whatever reason, the Home Office refused Joy permission to live and work in England. However, as she wanted to stay and Lewis certainly wanted her to stay, the only solution he could think of was that they go through a civil marriage ceremony. Such a “marriage” would give Joy and her sons British nationality. In regarding such a legal form Lewis was following the teaching of the Anglican Church. The church believes — as does the Catholic Church — that in marrying a divorcee one would be committing adultery. The ceremony, then, could not make them man and wife. Lewis would remain in his house, and joy would remain in hers.”

“C.S. Lewis: A Companion and Guide” by Walter Hooper, pg 76.

Clearly, “Shadowlands” took some liberties with the facts. On the other hand, through the lens of history (rather than Hollywood) we see by Lewis’ actions the seriousness with which he regarded the Church’s teaching on marriage. In the civil ceremony, he chose to protect in friendship (through a legal recourse) what he could not enter into sacramentally. He could not pledge to “worship” (or honor) as spouse a woman who belonged to another. And yet, he could — and did — commit to her in friendship, taking responsibility for both Joy and her sons from that time forward, knowing that a true marriage would not be possible so long as her husband lived.

Thanks for encouraging me to dig further!

“The Jews anciently used the same phrase [Godwin Jew. Customs.] Be unto me a wife, and I according to the word of God, will worship, honour and maintain thee, according to the manner of husbands amongst the Iews, who worship, honour and maintain their wives. And that no man quarrel at this harmless phrase, let him take notice, that to worship here signifies, to make worshipful or honourable, as you may see, 1 Sam. 2. 30. For where our last Translation reads it, Him that honours me, I will honour; in the old Translation, which our Common-Prayer book uses, it is, Him that worships me, I will worship; that is, I will make worshipful, for that way only can God be said to worship man.”

http://anglicanhistory.org/sparrow/rationale/matrimony.html

The sacrament of matrimony has always been understood to be a sign of the marriage between Christ and His Church. In “The Church at Prayer” (Martimort, 206), we read, “To reveal the plan of your love, you made the union of husband and wife an image of the covenant between you and your people. In the fulfillment of this sacrament, the marriage of Christian man and woman is a sign of the marriage between Christ and the Church” (Rite of Marriage, no 120).

And from “Gaudium et spes,”

“Authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is directed and enriched by the redemptive power of Christ and the salvific action of the Church, with the result that the spouses are effectively led to God and are helped and strengthened in their loft role as fathers and mothers. Spouses, therefore, are fortified and, as it were, consecrated for their duties and dignity of their state by a special sacrament; fulfilling their conjugal and family role by virtue ofthis sacrament, spouses are penetrated with the Spirit of Christ and their whole life is suffused by faith, hope and charity; thus they increasingly further their own perfection and their mutual sanctification; and together they render glory to God.”

from Jacques Dupuis, “The Christian Faith,” par1836.

As to why the article mentions C.S. Lewis, despite the fact that his wife was divorced (I know nothing about the Anglican tradition with regard to annulments and/or prior marriages), I first heard the words of this prayer while watching “Shadowlands,” the story of his life. One need not be a saint to reveal by example spiritual truth — at least, I hope not for my children’s sake!

How else can you explain Christ telling Saul, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute ME?” He is so identified with the members of his body that what you do to them, you truly do to him.

Yes. But, we are made in the image of God and as C.S.L. and his bride showed … they were looking for something more. The intense thing about the vow is saying “thee”. That is another. Someone outside of myself. And the other intense thing is “thee” is also God himself. In marriage, are we not called to worship God through love of our spouse? I love my wife and come closer to God if I love properly. Love God with our whole heart, mind and soul and our neighbors as self. Is this not manifiested most clearly in the love of our spouse. As long as we do not truly “worship” our spouse as an end in his/her self.

“Worship”?

Is that an accurate translation of the vows of Holy Matrimony?

Having just completed teachng RCIA classs on the Communion of Saints and Mary, I am quite sensitive to the misunderstanding of the distinction between praying (petitioning in earnest) and worshipping.

Is not God alone worthy of worship?