I truly believe that God has a family for every child — but not every family steps up to the plate, to take the child. Those who no longer have children at home are ideal for children with particularly traumatic backgrounds (particularly those who have been badly abused) because the parents are free to focus their attention on the needs of that child. However, I need to point out that not ALL foster children have such severe needs, and while it is considered preferable to maintain birth order (foster/adopt only children who are younger than the youngest bio child), it can be beneficial to both to raise foster and bio children together.

For those who really want to wait (or who, like GK, have “caught their limit,” consider respite care or CASA volunteering.

A history of depression should not disqualify you, especially if your doctor can testify to the fact that your condition is being managed well. It may well be that you simply have not found the right agency. (Please also remember that even agencies that have “Catholic” in the name are not necessarily run by Catholics, or even Christians. We received ours from Catholic SS … so I know this from personal experience.)

I suggest testing the waters at a few other agencies, talking candidly about your history. It may be that your children have yet to enter the system — sometimes it’s all about timing! (The agency we selected was an hour away from our house, but it was around the corner from the seminary where I was taking classes … If we had chosen one closer to home, our kids would not be with us today.)

God bless all of you who are taking this important issue to prayer. We are at a particularly crucial juncture in our nation’s history, when the witness to the value and dignity of every human life is desperately needed. What better way, than to give a child (who might otherwise never get one) a chance at a forever family?

Heidi Saxton
http://extraordinarymomsnetwork.wordpress.com

I know that the cost of private adoption is daunting, but keep in mind that the federal tax credit is now above $11,000. If you could get a loan, that would be a huge help in paying it off. Some employers also offer adoption assistance/reimbursement.

We attempted to foster but in NJ the law was recently changed so that 6 children is the limit. We have 6 of our own.

If the law changes we’ll gladly go ahead.

- GK

The only reason we wait is because as we’ve considered and done research, we know we will probably want to foster older sibling groups, and as these children come from unstable, even traumatic backgrounds, You can not risk some of that trauma affecting your own Bio children. You have to make sure you clear the slate for them completely. It’s a real commitment. But hearing from other fosters, one worth taking.

Madeline