Not that I condone rude reactions, but I will tell you that one of the reasons mothers of smaller families get boggle eyed at large families is that they generally have no idea how they work. What works for two or three children will simply not work for six.

I had the priviledge of getting to know a family with nine children when their youngest was born critically ill and their mother was away for weeks and months at time in hospital with the baby. For almost two years, I spent one day a week helping to care for the littlest siblings (which I could do because I had only two of my own). I was amazed at how independent the younger children were and how little supervision they needed with things like finding and putting on their own socks and shoes, brushing their teeth, serving themself breakfast cereal and milk (and cleaning up their dishes!), putting on pajamas with little supervision and helping with small chores. The older children knocked my socks off with their competence at preparing meals, doing laundry, attending to smaller children etc. It became clear to me that my expectations for my two young children (ages 3 and 5) were far short of what they could accomplish. Where as I had been doing all the work, I expected very minimal, if any, real work from my kids. Worse yet, they were getting trained to think that Mom did everything and that they did not have to contribute much to keep our family going. This mentality quickly fosters selfishness, whining and complaining.

Boggle eyed parents of smaller families may be trying to imagine how they could possibly keep up all the shoe tying, teeth brushing, bottom wiping, laundry, meal preparation, dish washing, housecleaning not to mention all the driving to ballet, soccer, flag football, piano lessons etc. for a large family, and how much whining and complaining they would have to endure with, say twice the children, thus the reaction.

Being boggle eyed is not reason to be rude and I got to experience some of this rudeness when I took my two young children and my friend’s four youngest on outings. FYI, I quickly realized that her four younger children were less work than my two children. I was often asked “if they were all mine” and my reply was always ” I wish” which elicited eye rolls and gasps. I actually quite enjoyed it. Like the author, I also received beaming smiles and friendly comments too.

Children from large families are usually heads and shoulders above other children in contributing to the family and hence are not nearly as selfish and whiney. While I was helping a family in need, I was the one getting lots of OJT on how to raise children who contribute to the families needs, are generally independent, are happy and therefore quite enjoyable to be with.

Don’t let the rude comments get you down (I know you don’t) Just remember that people compelled to be rude at the sight of your brood are probably dealing with selfish, whiney children who are not being trained to contribute to the family work load. Perhaps they need some OJT, too.

Peace and Blessing on all families, large and small!

As a mother to many children, I understand the point of your article well. Sadly, children are not seen as blessings from our good and generous Lord in our society.

Normally when I am asked, “How do you do it?”, my answer is, “With God’s grace” or “With help from Jesus”. I have never thought to answer with, “It’s a lot of fun”! Sometimes my husband will say something similar to that, however. Today was an extra-difficult day, and if I had been asked, “How do you do it?”, I would have answered, “With a glass of wine, Pal, so please pour me one”! Oh, I am so grateful for the quiet of this evening!

I apologize for my callous remarks.

I actually DID find the author’s point valid and I sincerely DID appreciate her bringing up a good topic for a Catholic forum. I truly DID want all of us to pray for those couples whose marital embrace is not open to life. I really DID want us all to publicly express encouragement to those with large families.

But our fertility is a very intimate and emotional subject and, again, I am sorry and deeply saddened that my remarks, pointing out an apparent bias in the piece that I felt worthy of correcting, were taken as toxic.

I should have known better.

May our comments bring light and not heat into our midst.