Many years ago, I had the opportunity to witness directly to two women who were about to undergo abortions. Both occasions were at my place of employment and occurred within months of each other.
The first time I heard that one of my co-workers was scheduled to have an abortion, I was shocked. As the days ticked away and the scheduled abortion was looming over her, my conscience started to prick me.
Although I felt uncomfortable approaching someone about this subject at my place of employment, it was not the fear of losing my job or even broaching the subject that made me uncomfortable. I simply did not know what to say. I didn't want to bungle it, but I knew that I was probably the last chance for that unborn child.
I gathered myself and set out toward her office. I knocked on her door, stepped in the office, and closed the door behind me.
"Maggie, I hear that you're pregnant and are going to have an abortion. Is this true?"
"Yes", she said.
"Listen, I want to help you. If it's money, I'll help you as long as it takes."
"No", she said. "It's not the money. I just can't handle another kid right now. I have four children already by three different men."
And so the conversation continued. At the end of it, she was crying.
I gave her a hug and repeated my offers to help. She appreciated it and kissed me on the cheek.
"Please don't do it", I said. "Don't give up hope. Trust in God."
The next day, she had her abortion. A few months later, she left the company.
Her replacement too became pregnant. However, she was pregnant with twins and the doctors recommended that she abort one of them.
I was not that keen to get involved again given my previous experience, but I knew that I had to try. As the days came closer, I tried to approach my co-worker, but something would always come up, or I would start to do it and then bail out.
On the day before her scheduled abortion, I was at home. "Oh well, just wasn't in the cards, eh, God? Did my best. Time to move on."
Not quite. My conscience wouldn't let me get away with such a lame excuse so I picked up the phone and called the office. When it rang through to her line, I breathed a sigh of relief as I got her voice mail.
"Hi Linda. Can you call me when you get a chance?"
I figured there was a 50/50 chance she would call back.
There was a part of me that was hoping she wouldn't call back. Call it reputation. Call it meddling. Call it human pride. I didn't know what to call it. I was kind of hoping that I could just give it the old college try but wouldn't have to go through with it.
As I sat there holding the phone, it suddenly rang, sending a nervous anxiousness down my spine.
"Oh. Oh. Now what do I say?", I asked myself.
"Hello?"
"Hi John, this is Linda."
"Oh, hi, Linda. How are you doing?"
A short pause.
"OK, I guess. I am just about to leave. What can I do for you?"
A longer pause on my end as I scrounged my brain for some kind of work-related pretense I would be calling for. I quickly thought of something that I had asked of her a couple of days ago. After she answered my question, there was another short pause.
"Is there anything else?"
A long pause on my end.
"No."
"Are you sure?" Her voice almost sounded like she needed to talk to someone about the abortion.
"No, I am sure."
"Okay. Bye"
"Bye."
As I heard the click of the phone and the monotone on the other end, I closed my eyes and pondered how I could be such a coward.
January 29th, 2008 at 7:29 am
There is not one of us who reads this who does not also feel a pain in our hearts. Like you, I had friends who walked into the the abortion clinic after I spoke to them. Only one chose not to got through with the abortion.
yblegen
January 29th, 2008 at 8:37 am
John, thank you for writing this. None of us like to publicize our defeats, but you have brought a sense of encouragement to me. I oftentimes lack confidence in myself, believing I am failed to say the wrong thing and therefore chicken out entirely. I suppose what we should all do is trust in the Holy Spirit that He will guide our conversations. Even a comforting silence is better than nothing…well when done in person. I'm not quite sure how to handle the situation over the phone.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Powerful.
GK - God is good!
January 29th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
This is a very personal account, and I appreciate you sharing it with us. Mr. Pacheco. The best thing to do in these situations is to do what you did in the first account, but to also PRAY very, very, VERY hard for the woman. But I must suggest here, for those of you who read this - please look for the movie "Bella." It may be coming out on DVD soon and is playing in theaters in some areas, but this movie is GREAT. It is very strong and pro-life, and it tells the story of a man who persuades a young woman to keep her child. Please look around for it. Even as a 16-year old male, I was moved by how simple it was - and yet how much meaning the movie really had. Here is a link to the movie's website.
http://www.bellamoviesite.com/
God bless.
January 30th, 2008 at 7:10 am
Thank you for sharing.
Do not be too rough on yourself. We can only do what we can do and it takes boatloads of strength to even write this article.
If I may make a suggestion? Often when words don't come, you can use alternate means to let the person know you are aware of the circumstances and offer an alternative to abortion.
There are brochures available from all sorts of resources, American Life League, Gabriel Project, etc that will let the woman (or man) know they are not alone, that there is help and hope.
I had a college friend who found out her roomie was scheduled for an abortion. Her roomie would not talk with her about it so my friend left her roommate a different prayer or brochure under her pillow for a week.
That way she could read it when she was alone and could absorb the information. Just a suggestion - God bless.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
January 31st, 2008 at 7:32 pm
For after-abortion healing please visit http://www.rachelsvineyard.org