Comments on: Does Physical Attraction Matter?

By: michaeljc777

michaeljc777 — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:34:14 +0000

Catholic Exchange, come on, please stop insulting us with this trash. This could have been writen by a 6 year old. Judson, bother, find a commentary that breaks down JPII’s Love and Responsibility and read 5 or 6 hundred times, add an extra rosary a day for humility and for your eyes to be opened. I hear you bro. Physical attractiveness matters. But your article goes overboard. How many of these so calle beautiful people in Hollywood have the marriages that you would want. Yes, looks are important, very important but you would have to be a fool to base your selection of a spouse on her looks alone. You are not a catholic scholar in the least. You sound very confused. Pick up a catechism and read about your fallen human nature. Read the bible, the psalms, Sirach about what it says about women and what qualities to look for. You have stong beleifs, and you are a scholar alright, a scholar of your own pride. You give retreats to singles. How scary is that? I don’t know how old you are Judson, you may only be 20 or 21. I don’t judge you. I know about lust and how blind it can make you. I would guess you beleive you can serve the world and God and have it all? The spirit lusts against the flesh and the flesh lusts against the spirit. What you do not mention is what everyone should do, pray, pray yes pray that God enlighten your mind and aks him to pick your spouse. Ask Our Lady to find a spouse for you. Our fallen human nature will often if not always betray us. All that glitters is not gold. And women, do not flirt like a flusy. Be cute, and interesting, fun (if that’s what he means by flirt -ok fine flirt) Also, please stop insulting us by telling us that men like this and all men like that. Speak about yourself, your views are very very twisted and seem to fit better on Bill Mayer, or Howard Stern not a Catholic Website. You should be ashamed of yourself for this trashy one step down from a porn or maxim magazine article. You have a responsibility Mr. Catholic Scholar. Learn your trade or go join Howard Stern, but stop corrupting other men and women. Ladies, the last thing you want is someone who just loves you because he is lustful for your breasts, hips and curves. There is always someone with bigger breasts, hips and curves. Your treasure is where your heart is and if your heart is caught up with the desires of the flesh, you remain in darkness.

By: nyc2tx

nyc2tx — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 23:50:44 +0000

I am glad I came across this article as I am doing some research on the topic. Let me first say that I am a Christian and a woman. I believe the author of this article was being completely honest. People speak what is in there heart contrary to what you may think (as the Bible tells us this). There are also comments made that represent how others feel. As a woman I understand the pressures that are placed on us, however, there comes a point when woman who either fit or don’t fit the “beauty” stereotype need to realize that what’s in your heart will determine whether or not you are BEAUTIFUL. I have seen too many times where the ugliness of a person’s character will distract from any physical attractiveness they may have. And in the reverse, someone who may not fit the stereotyped beauty can be so beautiful in spirit that they are indeed very beautiful. I think even men will agree with this. And I totally agree with the author when he says that no one (not even a woman)when looking for a partner says to themselves, “I think that guy over there is rather displeasing to the eye, let me go over and get to know him”. Because woman tend to place less emphasis on beauty if she gets to know that “physically undesirable guy” and he is turns out to be someone with similar interest, a gentlemen, etc it is very possible that she could end up marrying him. However, there is something I really want to address. There was a comment made on this discussion above, more than likely a woman, from the tone. The comments was “Beautiful people, not just women, are often associated with vanity, selfishness, and everything not good – fairly or not”. This thought could not be any truer! As I addressed this above, when the outward appearance doesn’t match the inside. However, this association with beauty and things like vanity and selfishness sometimes is used as an excuse for people, especially woman, to mistreat woman they feel threatened by because of there physical attractiveness. AND THAT IS A SIN! God has purposely made us all to look the way we look because we all serve a distant purpose after our first purpose which is to serve him. Therefore when you see a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE person know this that God choose that particular look for them and knew before hand that people would find them pleasing to the eye. So by having that thought in ones head that because someone is attractive they must be selfish or not a “good” person you are JUDGING them in the same manner that you yourself don’t want to be judged. Because, “the same measure you use to measure someone is the same measure that will be used on you”. THE HOLY BIBLE And if nothing else how disrespectful to your Creator.

By: Guest

Guest — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:16:02 +0000

I don't think this article did a very good job of treating the topic.

By: Guest

Guest — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:45:02 +0000

As a Catholic woman married for 15 years to a husband who is very loving and supports me no matter what changes I go through being pregnant etc....I have to say that women are a bit sensitive being talked about physically period. We have all been either made fun of publically, privately whatever, and/or lusted after/hit on by strangers, family, whoever. Our body parts have been fair game for many men to discuss, good or bad...and I just want to say...it hurts and gets very OLD. I do understand sexuality needs to be discussed respectfully.

It's just, for women, reading this, we automatically think...right...I have never looked like Marilyn (well maybe this part, but not this part) and never will...I don't measure up...BECAUSE WE have been so beat up. But God made me and loves me the way I am. Women try to see ourselves from God's perspective, but it is a challenge in our society. Too fat, to skinny, too this, too that.

And if you sacrifice yourself for the children God has given you using NFP ~ not getting "fixed" ~ and you don't just bounce back like some women, society can be very cruel. They don't understand sacrifice at all.

Anyway, please just take into consideration women's feelings of being "discussed" when you have your discussions of beauty. Be kind, always.

By: Guest

Guest — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 06:51:01 +0000

I'm sorry, I cannot agree with deirdrew's negativism. It may not have been the most profound article on the subject, but it does represent a wholesome, fun discussion of a fun and intriguing topic, and one in which the author seemed to indicate the reader's ability to disagree.

I took the discussion in the spirit of other mature articles on the topic I have read over the years, and in the spirit of Bishop Sheen, who once described God's intention of creating the complementarity of the sexes (whoops, did I say a bad word?) as, "the woman introduces the man to the pleasure of loving, and the man introduces the woman to the love of pleasure." But to say that, you would have to think that love and pleasure can go together, and that God is not ashamed of that.

Look, I think you have to look into everything God made for His purpose and intentions, for what it says about Him, and what it says about us, and enjoy it for what it is (on His terms, of course). Everything is not corrupt, in fact, human love and attraction is a wholesome thing, and part of a holy thing. When the world gets itself into a fix over some sin, as we have over sex, it is important to revisit the elements of it to rediscover this wholesome understanding and a refreshed approach, as has John Paul II in providing his studies and meditations on the Theology of the Body. I reject the notion that we can never feel comfortable talking about it. What God has done in creating our bodies is every bit as profound as what He has done in creating our souls and spirits, and can speak truths just as eloquently as the law of the Spirit. That shows the completeness of God as a Creator, and the simplicity of God, and His view of Man as a unity. But you don't have to talk profoundly about it to get it. That's part of the beauty of it. You can talk simply about it, and even humorously about it, and enjoy the truth of it. In the end, the comfort that the beauty of creation brings us only foretells the comfort and infinite joy His Own Beauty will give us for all eternity.

By: Guest

Guest — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:01:01 +0000

Any man, at whatever year in our society and world, who abuses the trust of a young girl who cannot fully make her own decisions, IS a pedophile and pervert. Catholic Exchange, seriously, do you have any sense at all?

By: Guest

Guest — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:53:01 +0000

It's a generalization of course to say that men prefer pretty women. And not wholly accurate.Are men often drawn to pretty women? Yes. But just as often, men are drawn to the flashy, the gaudy, the obvious, often times the ugly but somehow animalistically atractive. But why do we care? Shouldn't women care about how they feel about themselves, and realize that men's attention often wanes? Human beings are often drawn to the interesting, how do we define 'beauty?' This is already a tedious article when the author is saying no man notices a woman's personality across the room. Really? Speak for yourself. I know lots of beautiful women that men can't even see their personality, as they move on to less flashy women.

Beautiful people, not just women, are often associated with vanity, selfishness, and everything not good - fairly or not.

I am still looking for the connection to a Catholic thought - not one yet...

Catholic Exchange, why did you publish this? It's an assault on our intelligence. It's boorish beyond belief. It gives no insight. Yuck. I believe most people are beautiful, they need love and confidence. Mother Teresa is beautiful - she shines within. People are drawn to her. This is a depressing article, because the author writes like an 8th grade boy. Not all men are like that. The examples given are shallow and sad.

A better question would be - if we are made to the image and likeness of God, why and how are we so different? How do we make a commitment to a person less than perfect, but actually a lot like us?

Flirting with a stranger is wrong, and dangerous.

The other posters' comments are no better. Do you realize you are actually talking about the sin of concuspience (forgive spelling for the moment) and not just innocent attraction? Only in our society, where we have severed so many bonds, do we begin to trade in people for the purposes of satisfying our fleshly desires.

It's depressing to come to a Catholic site, looking for some real insight, and basically get a bunch of men thinking this is a men's adult site, where they can once again possess beauty by talking about it.

By: Guest

Guest — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:09:01 +0000

Anyone wants to take a gues as to whether Jesus was attractive?

I found the answer in an article here: Jesus Christ was Physically Attractive

By: Guest

Guest — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 18:21:01 +0000

Excuse me! But it leads to marriage. The idea that a flirtation — the showing of romantic interest in a man by a women is only about getting into bed, is so demeaning. Ask the married women you know if they ever flirted with their husbands.

And BTW, flirtation after marriage — as long as it with the husband ! –is good too. And hopefully then it does lead to sex. LOL.

By: Guest

Guest — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 17:35:01 +0000

"...just walk up there and start talking and flirting and whatever it is you girls do..." That would have to be ranked up there as about No. 1 on the list of "Advice I never expected to see on a Catholic website."

I do agree men typically don't have the social skills that women do, but "flirting?" What happened to start and have an interesting conversation that looks for mutual interests and interesting opinions? Where in the world but sex does flirting lead?!