Karen Edmisten

http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com

I encourage Ms. Hess Saxton to read the article again because she missed the point with this remark, "To categorize such women across the board as selfish, culture-bound creatures (or tragic figures who simply "need the money") is simply untrue and unjustified."  It is untrue and unjustified, however, I didn't read that in this article. In one fell swoop, Alice is critised for her reaction to a friend's statement and her understanding of women who do work outside the home!  She simply relayed the friend's comment and her opinion on what prompted the remark.  Alice said, "She responded as our culture has taught her…, "What a waste!"

… she meant them as a … compliment, a tribute to my "worth."  …. society's pervasive notion that children should be, …., best left until prominence, profit and partnership are all checked off the to do list.  (…I am not talking about the many mothers who sacrifice for the good of their families by working outside the home, but those trapped in a spiral of unnecessary ambition, postponing the deepest joys in life.)" 

Unlike Alice, I don't have a college degree <g>. I've never felt judged by Alice for that and I do have the perspective that society judges women with degrees who choose to stay home more harshly than those who are believed incapable of having a career anyway.  Society has deccreed that college educated women's contributions from within their homes are not as valuable as the contributions they could make outside of their homes. 

Especially considering the struggles Ms. Hess Saxton so accurately describes, "In the crucible of motherhood, our worst faults are exposed and (in time, and with effort) healed," one would think Ms. Hess Saxon would appreciate exactly the enormity of the decision to stay home with children, be it one or many! 

As for the Proverbs 31 woman, it is entirely plausible to hold her up as a true example of a stay at home mother unless one is as narrowed minded as to believe SAHMs actually never venture out of the confines of their own homes!  Many mothers who don't have a career outside the home are in charge of the household finances, even making investment and re-investment decisions! As for securing provisions from afar?  Internet shopping fits that bill precisely!

Yes, this article presented an idyllic painting, as is proper for a description of an event at a party and the point of the article. 

God Bless!

Sabine

SAHM to seven ages 17, 15, 13, 10, 7, 3, and 5 months

Now I hear the I'm not better than working moms, as if I ever said I was!  Staying home was a conscious decision.  It wasn't always easy.  I missed my job and we could certainly have used the income.  Yet it was our decision and I don't regret it.  It doesn't mean I don't work.  Like the proverbs woman, I am in charge of our finances and the running of this household.

Thank you for the article, Alice, I also enjoy watching my oldest with my youngest

Your faithful CE reader!

After four years of marriage, they received two daughters- blood sisters, ages 9 and 3, whom they adopted from an orphanage overseas .

Another couple I know spent their 20's and 30's, not pursuing money or prominence, but trying to find the right person to marry. They didn't discover each other until both were in their late thirties, and they were both about 40 when they married. They now have two little girls, and are hoping for more, but, considering the wife's age  and less-than-easy deliveries (she ended up having C-sections), they have to take her health into account.

Small families ? yes. But as generous and open to life as I've ever seen !

I would also point out that it is wrong to judge her life just because she has a degree,  MANY people have a degree in law who are not rich!   Maybe she gives all to the poor,  PLEASE don't make assumptions based on intials after someones name!

One day after our oldest had started kindergarden (and before the last was a twinkle in her daddy's eye), it suddenly occured to me that I'd be all of 36 when she graduated from high school!  Thirty-six is just WAY too young to sit in a rocking chair and wait to die. 

  When our oldest graduated from high school, I went with her to our community college.  Granted, I didn't become a doctor or lawyer (or Indian chief, either), but I did earn a 2-yr. degree as a Medical Assistant.  I worked for about 5 years before another opportunity presented itself, and I enjoyed my work tremendously.  (I also enjoyed that other opportunity.)

The one thing I didn't plan for was becoming old and disabled.  But that's another story.  My point is that there's enough room in life to do BOTH.  It's true that once you are a mother, you're a mother forever.  But it's also true that the kids grow up and take less of your time, energy and attention.  Rocking chair, anyone?

Thanks and blessings,

Mary Kochan, Senior Editor, Catholic Exchange

"As I post this piece, I want to include a note to make sure it does not have the unintended effect of hurting any women or mothers who work outside the home, particularly those who strive to make a better life for their families. My reflection is meant as an affirmation that children are a greater source of joy and fulfillment than unnecessary ambition."

The post is meant to be a personal reflection on her own choice to give up practicing law when her first child was born, a choice that surprised (and continues to surprise) a lot of her former colleagues. Alice realizes that not every mother has the luxury of making the choice to stay home.

Melissa Wiley, stay-at-home homeschooling mother of five

my author blog

liltinghouse.clubmom.com